


Looking For Raziel

by Aeriels_Stories, NiennorNight (Niennor_Night)



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Malec-centric, M/M, Malec, Malec Angst, Malec Fluff, Pre-Malec, au!Malec
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-18
Updated: 2017-02-17
Packaged: 2018-05-27 13:31:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 64
Words: 80,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6286618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aeriels_Stories/pseuds/Aeriels_Stories, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Niennor_Night/pseuds/NiennorNight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Malec Human!AU, where Magnus is a famous singer and Alec an 18-year old boy with a secret, looking for a part-time job!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A fateful meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! NiennorNiennor here! So the “fic” about to follow is actually a story from “Aeriels_Stories” and mine RP accounts as Malec, on twitter!  
> Thus, the story format which is a little more fragmental (?) than a usual fic.
> 
> Aeriels_Stories’ parts are Magnus, Tessa and Ragnor, (Warlock team FTW yay!) and mine are Alec, Izzy and Jace. There are some minor chars here and there too!  
> Also, text between “//” is writer’s “commentary”.  
> P.S: English isn’t our native language so please forgive any mistakes! ^_^
> 
> P.S2: We posted that fic before but deleted and reposted it, since people had trouble reading the previous format. This is the revamped version

Alexander Lightwood was walking down the street, his headphones on, ignoring the world while listening to his favourite singer’s latest album. Suddenly something caught his eye and he froze, staring at it.

“Well… I **_was_** looking for a job…” He mutters to himself picking up the “Help wanted” ad and studying it. “No harm trying…” He mutters again heading to the address on the paper, humming along to the song currently playing.

~o~

Magnus Bane was clearly stressed, pacing in his dressing room.

“I need that assistant for **_yesterday_**. How hard could it be to find someone fitting the profile? _‘No touching, no lovey-dovey eyes, no selling my underwear on Ebay.’_ … I'm sick of… **_sick_** people.” He sighs and ends up sitting again, for the fourth or fifth time in a row, on the chair in front of the mirror. “Ragnor, could you **_please_** check my make-up again? I want to be perfect for…”

"Mags, you're always **_perfect,_** okay? I checked ten times.” The green-haired man, Ragnor Fell (his personal hairdresser and beautician), puts his hands on his shoulders, slightly massaging them. “You need to relax… You'll do great out there.”

“I'm not so sure anymore… I think I lost my muse and I desperately need to find it again.”

~o~

Meanwhile Alec reaches his destination and heads to the building’s reception, taking off his ear-buds. “Excuse me…” He says politely, showing the paper on his hand. “I'm here for the ‘assistant’ position. Has it been covered?”

The woman behind the desk stares intensely at him and then smiles. “You're cute. I think he'll love you. You can go in whenever you are ready. Second door to the right. Good luck~”

He blushes and mutters “I'm not cute…” Then nods and says, “Okay… Thank you.” He goes to the door, takes a deep breath and knocks.

Magnus hears it and makes a face. “Can you get rid of… whoever is knocking? I'm getting a headache.”

Ragnor rolls his eyes, saying. "I'm not your assistant, Magnus. You go."

“But you work for me! I pay you!”

“Not enough…”  The man mutters, and Magnus frowns before getting up to open the door.

“Fine, I'll take care of that… just this one time.” Hearing a knock again, makes his frown deepen. “I'm coming! Who the hell is thi-?” He freezes on the spot then, totally captivated by the person on the other side of the door. “There you are…” He whispers in a really low voice. _‘My muse…’_ adds to himself.

Stares at him for a second then hastily drops his eyes. “I'm really sorry to bother you… The lady at the reception told me to knock here for the assistant position.” Steals a glance at him through his eyelashes, his head still low, waiting.

Clears his throat, trying to hide the urge to kiss the boy in front of him. “Yes, of course! Your name is…?” Lets him in, checking out his ass while he does so.

Ragnor only smirks at the scene.

“My name is Alec…” He says turning to look at him. “Alec Lightwood.”

“Alec… It comes from Alexander, right? Can I call you Alexander? Oh, but of course I can, I'm your new boss after all.”  He grins, leaning against the wall. “I assume you know who I am…”

“I'd rather you didn't…” He mutters frowning and then answers his question. “Yeah, I've heard of you.” He lies, thinking, ‘ _Huge understatement.’_ and then realizes what Magnus told him. “Wait, you said new boss?? I just arrived!”

“Well, you're cute. Dark hair, blue eyes… My favourite combination.” Winks at him and walks to the chair to sit down. “So, you'll get my phone calls, bring me coffee, take my clothes to the dry cleaner's and the most important thing, you'll be in charge of my schedule. Are you in?” Magnus looks at the boy through the mirror, trying to decipher his body language… in vain.

“I'm not cute…” He mutters for the second time in the last ten minutes, crossing his arms over his chest, then nods when Magnus is done, and answers, doing his best to sound indifferent. “Is that all? Okay. Easy.” He smirks looking at him.

That wasn't what he expected. At all. So he can't help but laugh, openly.

Ragnor goes to the rescue then, extending a hand for Alec to shake. “I'm Ragnor Fell, his hairdresser, beautician and pretty much the only friend he has. Nice to meet you, Alec.” Winks at him.

“Hey, for your information, I have a lot of friends. **_A lot_** , wa~y nicer than you.” Says back Magnus.

"Yeah, yeah." Ragnor winks at the boy once again.

Smiles, relaxing a little, enjoying their antiques, and shakes his hand, nodding. “Nice to meet you.”

With an arrogant smile, Magnus gets up, walks to Alec and imitates Ragnor's gesture, extending a hand. “Nice to meet you… Alexander.”

Alec looks at him, and gulps, his blue eyes widening ever so slightly, not expecting he would ever do something like that. “I thought your rules said **‘No touching’**?” He asks carefully while raising a questioning eyebrow at him, not taking his hand yet, while chanting in his head: _‘Please don’t touch me, please don’t touch me…’_ worrying that if Magnus does, his carefully constructed Façade will crumble and everything will be lost. He was being very clear after all. He didn’t want fans working for him. On his way there, Alec was building up defenses, determined to look indifferent, while on the inside he was screaming even at the thought of seeing him up close. Somehow, surprising even himself, he had managed not to mess things up so far…

If that was some kind of test it wasn't working for Magnus. If any, he was determined to break any barrier that kept him from making any move towards the boy. “Yeah, boring rules… I wrote them, that's true, but only for nuisance fans… You don't look like one of those so…” Arches an eyebrow with his hand still raised, waiting. “I don't bite… much.” Adds with a lopsided smile.

His heart skips a beat. _‘Why are you so outrageously beautiful?’_ He thinks seeing his smile. It takes all his self-control to keep his features in check even though he can't help but blush at his comment. He bites his lip trying to keep his composure and gives Magnus his slightly trembling hand, trying not to think about it. His heart is beating rapidly, while on the outside he smiles softly playing it cool. “Oh, Okay then… It's nice to meet you too…”

In a quick and sudden movement, he pulls the boy to him, so close he could lose himself into his eyes if he wanted, to whisper. “I know what you're playing at and I'm **_so_** going to win…” As he lets an astonished Alec go, his smile widens. “When can you start?”

  //Alec.exe has stopped working. Circuits overloaded. Please restart system.//

Magnus pulls him close to whisper and his heart stops as he feels his hot breath on him. When he lets him go, he stumbles backwards desperate to put distance between them, as he turns impossibly red and stutters. “Wha-what are you talking about, I, I-I'm not playing at-at anything…” He takes another step back, hitting the wall while staring at him, unable to look away.

His smile is even more dangerous now. So the boy **_is_** affected by him… He **_knew_** it. Now the only thing he needs is Ragnor out of the picture so he can have a private conversation with his new… employee. Completely dismissing Alec's words, Magnus turns to look at his friend. “Would you please go? I need some time for myself before going on air.” He then turns to the boy. “That doesn't include you since you're my assistant.”

Ragnor simply raises an eyebrow saying before exiting the dress room. “Oookay, give me a little whistle if you need me~”

 _‘God, why is he smiling like that? He’s so-…’_ Alec thinks enchanted, about to leave, when Magnus’ next words stop him in place. Before he has time to argue, Ragnor leaves instead and he is left frozen, staring at Magnus, his mind in overdrive. _‘What was I thinking? I can’t do this… He knows… Don’t look at me…’_  
“I should…” He manages to say hesitating, pointing to the door, but is unable to move forward, because he would have to pass too close to Magnus to leave.

“Well… It's true that your contract isn't done yet so until then you aren't my employee… **_Mea culpa._** ” His playful smile is still there as he gets up and walks to him. “But you could grant me some time to know each other. I ask you things and you answer. That simple.”

He’s still staring at his smile mesmerized, but then confusion overcomes everything else, snapping him out of the daze. “Why would you want to know me?” He asks perplexed, looking at him.

 ** _“Because_** **…”** He's awfully close to him once again. “You know everything about me and I find that **_really_** unfair.”

He tries to take another step back but hits the wall. Finding it hard to breathe, he lies again, doing his best to sound calm. “I don't know everything about you…”

Bites his lip, trying to keep himself from laughing. “Oh? So now there's one thing I know about **_you_**.”

 _‘Please don't do that…’_ He thinks but then feels like Magnus is mocking him and asks, a bit annoyed. “And what is that?”

“Let's say… that you need to improve your ability to lie.” Wiggles his eyebrows. “Favourite song?”

His extreme stubbornness causes his annoyance to overcome everything and he is able to resist. “What???” He frowns. “I'm an actor, I can lie perfectly fine! And what would I be lying about??” He pauses, and then adds, lying again. “It's **_‘Curse my name’_**.”

“Sure…” Magnus whispers, looking right into his eyes, closing the distance between them even more. “I wouldn't mind if you did that while I'm making love to you though…” Says referring to the song's title.

 _‘Wha…t?’_ Alec’s mind almost going blank at his words and he blushes even more, feeling he will faint if this keeps up, so even though all he wants is to lean closer, he puts his hands on Magnus’ chest pushing him away. (Not hard, just to make his point.) “What are you talking about???”

Looks down at his hands and up to his eyes again, suddenly feeling an urge to lean forward to capture those perfect lips. “A tough one…? Fantastic, I **_love_** challenges.”

He clears his throat which has gone dry and says in his most professional tone. “Mr. Bane, I came here to be your assistant. Not a fling.” He knows Magnus couldn't be more serious than that about him.

“Mr. Bane… I like the sound of that in your lips. We could try it someday… in my bed.” He winks at him before stepping back to let him breathe. “A ‘fling’, huh…? Nah… Well then, I'll tell Tessa to call you once the contract is made. You know where the door is.”

He nods biting his lip again, wondering if he angered him or insulted him. There is nothing he can do though, so he moves to the door opening it and stepping out. He looks up at him and mutters, loud enough to be heard. “I'm sorry.” And then he closes the door, and runs away. Really really runs and doesn't stop until he is out of the building.

~o~

Meanwhile, Magnus stares confused at the door, trying to figure out what Alec meant by that, why he apologized. He then calls Tessa and she appears in the room right after.

"Did you call me?"

“Yeah… You saw the boy, right?”

Tessa just nods.

“Was he…? I mean, do you think he looked interested? In working for me or personally.”

“I'm not sure. He looked nervous…But who wouldn't be in a job interview?”

Magnus sighs. “Maybe you're right… Make the contract and call him when you're done.”

“Yes, sir.” She says before leaving Magnus there, alone with his thoughts.

~o~

He reaches home, sinking breathlessly to the couch, hugging a pillow. “What… just… happened…?” He mutters not believing it, bringing Magnus’ words to mind, then dismissing them right after.

“Don’t be stupid…” He whispers talking to himself. “Of course he wasn’t serious… You’ve seen his exes… Woosley, and Camille, and so many more of them, all have one thing in common… They are all outrageously beautiful. Even if they are nothing compared to him… And all **_I_** am is…” He sighs burying his face in the pillows. “I would be nothing more than a game to someone as amazing as him…”

He sighs again, staying there trying to calm down and sometime after, he falls asleep…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it for now~ The first chapter! ^_^ Please let us know if you like it and if we should keep posting!!
> 
> Afternote Trivia: We started the RP 22 Sep 2015, and the “I love challenges” line was written 25 Sep 2015! xD Long before the show started!  
> Aeriels_Stories’ is a seer!! <3


	2. Broken Hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! We would like to thank you all for the kudos and comments and we hope you like chapter two as well~  
> Please let us know! ^_^
> 
> Our update schedule will be two chapters a week, on Tuesdays and Saturdays!

The day after, Tessa has the work contract in front of her in the desk, dialling Alec's phone number. She was supposed to call earlier but she had a lot of backlog to do. Magnus was a handful sometimes.

Alec is woken up by his phone ringing. He opens his eyes disorientated, realising he fell asleep on the couch and reaches for it picking it up. “Hello?”

"I'm sorry, did I just wake you up? It's 2 p.m. Rise and shine, sweetheart~" The woman says, as in joking. "I guess I should introduce myself. I'm Tessa, Magnus Bane's secretary. I'm calling you because of the work contract. Could you come over later?"

“2 p.m???” He shots up from the couch. _‘God, I overslept…’_ “Yes, hello, it's nice to meet you, I am Alec…” He pauses. “But you know that already… I can, yeah, about what time do you want me to be there?”

Tessa giggles while toying with a pencil. "Yeah, I pretty much know everything about you, honey. Well, ahm… Since Magnus has an appointment at 7pm, what about you coming around 5.30? Oh, and one more thing. You need to wear a suit."

“Everything?” Then his eyes widen. ‘ _I don't have a suit!’_ But he doesn't say anything. “Oh… okay… I will be there…”

"I take my job very seriously, Alec." Tessa smiles, then greets a man passing by waving a hand towards him. "I'll see you later then~"

“Goodbye…” Once she hangs up, he starts panicking. “What am I going to do???” Then it hits him. While running around to feed his cat, he calls his parent’s house.

“Yes?” Comes the answer after three rings.

“Jace!” He shouts once his brother picks up. “I need your help!! Is Izzy there too?”

“Yes, she is here, what happened?”

“Great. I need to borrow a suit… I will tell you more details up close, I’m coming over now, neither of you leave!!!” He hangs up and shouts to the cat. “Gabriel, I’m leaving!” Then grabbing his helmet he runs downstairs to his motorcycle and in ten minutes he is there.

~o~

Magnus is in the rehearsal room, singing the new single when Tessa knocks the door. He stops and turns while telling her to come in. “Did something happen?”

"No, everything's alright. I came to tell you that the boy is coming later, I 'summoned' him at 5.30pm."

“Excellent…” Magnus smiles picking up the bottle from the stool beside him and sipping on it. “I can't wait to see him again. I was thinking about him all night…”

"Too much information, Mags." The woman smiles. "You like him that much?"

“I'm not sure, I…. The moment I saw him I felt…” Sighing, he ends up sitting on the stool, his hands covering his face. “I think I **_love_** him.”

"But that isn't bad. Well, it's… weird but definitely not bad. So… go for it?"

After moving away his hands, his expression is back to a playful one. “Yeah, I'm Magnus Bane after all. No one can resist me.”

~o~

Upon Alec’s arrival to his childhood home, Izzy welcomes him. “Where’s the fire brother?”

He smiles, at her. “Hey sis. You’re going to **_love_** this. I need your help. For now let’s say I found a job as an assistant, and I have to be there in a suit in two hours. I will explain more while getting ready so I won’t be late.”

She beams. “Congrats Alec! C’mon then!!” She pulls him inside where he tells Jace the same thing. His brother gives him a black suit with a blue tie and while getting dressed Alec starts explaining.

“Izzy, you better sit down. And please keep calm.”

She raises a questioning eyebrow but obeys, sitting on the bed, while Jace stands by the door.

“Now… Let me give you a clue about my new boss…” He smirks picking up his phone, finding one of Magnus’ songs in it, and pressing play. Izzy stares at him not getting it, and then her eyes widen.

“Nooooo”

“Yes!!” He beams, and she screams jumping to hug him as he chuckles.

“What are you two talking about?” Jace asks, not understanding.

“He is working for Magnus Bane!!” She screams again, excitedly, then as Jace shrugs wondering what’s the big deal, she lets Alec go and shouts. “Get dressed!! Quickly! I have to fix your hair!!”

“What’s wrong with my hair?” Alec frowns getting a glare instead of an answer. “Okay, okay…” An hour and a half later he stands outside the house, his hair half-spiked up, waiting for Izzy to get her car to give him a ride since she wouldn’t allow him to take his bike to not ruin his hair with the helmet. They reach the building and she gets inside with him.

“Wait a minute.” She grabs his hand stopping him, and fixes his tie a little. “Perfect! Good luck cielo.” She smiles and gives him a kiss on the cheek then turns to go. “Call me later to pick you up!! Love you!”

He smiles warmly at her. “Thank you. Love you too…” He says and goes to talk to Tessa, still smiling.

~o~

Tessa was in the middle of a call, frowning and humming quietly. "Yeah, I understand. I'll let him now… I'm sorry. Yeah… Yeah… No, it's okay. Yeah, thank you. Have a good day." Hanging up, she massaged her temples before realizing that Alec was there, so she puts on her best smile. "Oh, hey Alec, did you wait long? I'm sorry about that."

“Hello.” He smiles back politely. “No, don't worry… I **_am_** a bit early after all…” He says checking his clock. It's 5:15pm.

Checking her own clock, her smile falters. "You're actually right… Time flies. So, the suit. You look **_really_** good. Someone's gonna be happy~ But let's not anticipate events. Could you wait a minute or two? Magnus is on the rehearsal room… You can sit anywhere you want."

He blushes at the compliment muttering. “Thank you…” And then looks at her questioning, not understanding what she meant by 'someone will be happy'. He lets it go though “Of course… Sorry I was too early… I will wait as long as you need me to.” Shrugs and moves to a chair sitting down.

"Oh, it's not because of me, trust me. But Mags is a bit special… He could get angry, like **_really_** angry if someone interrupts him while he's practicing so… it's better if you stay there."

He chuckles, taking a note to **_NEVER_** interrupt him. “I understand that, makes sense…”

"I'm glad you got it" She winks at him and starts typing something on her netbook.

~o~

Meanwhile, Ragnor enters the rehearsal room without knocking first, collapsing on a couch right after.

Magnus squints his eyes at him “What the…? **_Why_** are you here? I'm trying to practice the new singl-“

"You have nothing to do with that Alec guy."

That got Magnus attention. “What do you mean?”

"I saw him with a girl minutes ago. She was _beautiful_ like a model; black hair and dark eyes, red lips, gorgeous body… He's straight and you have zero chances with him. Too bad…"

Magnus bites his lower lip hard, thinking. Maybe that's why Alec stopped him yesterday. It made perfect sense now, but didn't hurt less. “It's okay. Could you let Tessa know that I'm done here?”

"Yeah, sure. Oh, and don't worry, Mags. There are many fish in the sea to pine over one…" Ragnor taps his shoulder and goes to notify Tessa, whilst Magnus stays there, staring blankly at his own reflection. Maybe his friend was right but none of them were Alec.

~o~

Alec is sitting on the chair fiddling idly with the hem of the suit, looking down, trying to calm himself down. Now that he is no longer running around panicked, he starts thinking of Magnus, craving to see him again but also dreading to, not knowing how he'll be able to pull off meeting him again. Especially if he insists on messing with him like he did last time. Thinking of that he blushes biting his lip and violently pushes the thought to the back of his mind. He manages to calm down and then hears steps and raises his head. He sees Ragnor going up to Tessa and whispering something.

Tessa frowns and curses under her breath while waving Ragnor off and looking in Alec's direction. All at once. "Hey, boy. You can come in. And do not try anything stupid. We're watching you." She then fixes her cold gaze on the netbook again, practically smashing the keyboard buttons with her fingers. "Oh, Mags…"

He freezes momentary, stricken by the change in her behaviour, trying to think back, wondering what he did wrong. He drops his head, an uneasy feeling settling in his stomach and mutters in a strained voice. “I'm sorry… Did I… do something I shouldn’t have…?” He looks at her through his dark eyelashes, not raising his head. He thought he heard her say Magnus’ name and guesses he is angry with him too. Even the thought of that is surprisingly painful. He bites his lip, thinking _‘I messed up… I managed to make them hate me already… But why…?’_ He sighs and says in a lower voice. “Was _he_ angry about yesterday…?”

That's when Tessa realizes her mistake. "Oh God, no! You didn't do anything wrong. It's not your fault. It's just…" She sighs shaking her head. "He looked so… excited. I've never seen him like that since… **_her_**. But that has nothing to do with you so forget I said anything. Just go in there and do your job. Professionalism, that's all I ask of you."

Her answer only makes him more confused, and he wonders what Magnus was excited about and what happened now… _‘And who is 'her'?’_ He thinks, suddenly feeling unreasonably jealous. He sighs inwardly pushing all thoughts aside. _‘At least they don't hate me…’_ Trying to look normal he turns to her. “Oh… of course… You needn't tell me that…” _‘It's not like Magnus could ever look at_ **me** _and see anything more than an assistant anyway…’_ he thinks sadly.

She only stares intently at him and then shrugs. "Get in, he must be waiting for you."

“Oh…” He says again. “Of course, I'm sorry.” He hurries away and knocks on Magnus' door bracing himself for what's to come. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aeriel: "Cielo" is a Spanish (Hispanic) word meaning "darling" or "beloved" in English, basically a pet name.


	3. Interview for Raziel

“Come on in.” Is the only thing Magnus says, sitting as he is on the piano bench, tenderly stroking the keys.

Alec bites his lip, taking a deep breath and slowly opens the door. Magnus is sitting on the piano bench, his slender fingers on the keys, playing softly. He freezes staring at the singer, his heart beating wildly on his chest. _‘How can someone so perfect really exist…?’_ He thinks mesmerised, thanking his stars that he was fortunate enough not only to be able to meet Magnus but also talk and maybe work with him.

Magnus knows he's being watched but the last thing he wants to do is face Alec so he keeps playing instead, eyes closed, just feeling the music. That always made him feel good, blissful, complete. However, it doesn't last long since he has to work. Eventually, he gets up from the piano bench and slowly turns to Alec; a melancholic look on his eyes, a sharp pain like a stab on his heart just by looking at the gorgeous boy. “Alec.”

The song stops all too soon and Magnus slowly gets up and turns to face him. It takes all of Alec's self-control to not gasp as he looks at him. _‘Why do you look so sad…?’_ Seeing him like that, he feels a stab of pain on his heart. _‘What can I do… To make you feel better…?’_ He thinks, knowing there is nothing **_he_** could possibly do, but wishing that wasn't the case… “Hello…” He only says in a low voice, looking into his eyes, not knowing how he should address him.

“Mr. Bane should be fine. Magnus with time… That, if you don't get bored first.” His expression closes up, turning into a neutral one. “But let's get to work. Take a look at my schedule and tell me what's next.”

‘ _Bored?? Are you out of your mind?!?!’_ he wants to shout at him but holds his tongue. “Yes Mr.Bane…” He says dropping his eyes, hurt by the change in his attitude, (even though he knows, he has no right to be), wondering if yesterday was just a crazy dream. _‘Maybe I was too drunk in his presence I imagined the whole thing…’_ He thinks grimly, and then scolds himself. _‘What are you being sad about? What did you expect? That he would even look at someone_ **trivial** _like you?’_ Suppressing all the negative thoughts, he moves closer, so Magnus can give him the schedule.

As Magnus passes the schedule to him, their hands touch by accident. That makes his heart skip a beat, his pulse quickening and his throat getting dry. Alec's skin against his own is electrifying, addictive, he cannot get enough. But Ragnor told him, he's straight and in no way interested in him **_that_** way so he quickly steps back, pulling his hand away. “I need to know what's my appointment after the interview at 7pm. so check it out fast and let's get going. You're coming with me.” He says rather harshly.

Their hands brush and Alec feels as if an electric current went through him. His eyes widen as his heartbeat accelerates but luckily Magnus isn’t looking at him so he doesn’t see his reaction. His heart is beating so loudly he is afraid Magnus will hear it. Of course he doesn’t. Instead, he jerks his hand away and speaks, his voice professional and sharp and Alec feels a stab of pain again at the coldness and anger he hears in it and he looks at him for a second, his blue eyes full of anguish, before dropping them to the floor so he won’t see. “Yes Mr.Bane…” He repeats. “I’m sorry…” He adds again, wishing he’d know what he did wrong, to make him react like that, wondering if it was the way he acted or the things he told Magnus the day before. He checks the schedule, his hands trembling slightly. “After the interview at 7pm. you have a dinner appointment with Mr.Matt Greene at 9pm.”

Alec suppresses a sigh, feeling a pang of jealousy. The boy in question is one of Magnus’ exes. A model staring with him in many past music videos. He is absolutely stunning and also Magnus’ type, having blue eyes and dark hair. “The appointment is about your new music video where he will be starring once more.” He adds, giving Magnus the details, trying to sound professional as he said he’d be. Worst thing of all, is that the ignorant, blind boy was the one who broke up with Magnus not too long ago, not the other way round. So Magnus could still be in love with him… _‘What’s it to you?’_ he scolds himself once more. _‘You have_ **no** _right to be jealous!_ ’ Concerned, he wants to ask Magnus if he’s going to be okay, but doesn’t dare to pry. _‘…That Matt guy must be insane though… Who in their right mind would break up with Magnus??’_

Oh, of course. Matt Greene. When they broke up a few months ago after some… differences, Magnus thought he wouldn't see him again. But their signed contract says otherwise… Sighing, he nods. “9pm… Right. I see you're wearing a suit already, was it Tessa's idea?” He observes Alec with appreciation, scanning every body part of his, hungry to touch him. He **_really_** was gorgeous. “I didn't know you could own a suit. After seeing you yesterday with that… sweater of yours and those frayed pants… Well, you know where I'm going. Anyway,” He adds quickly. “Let's go. I need to be on time for the interview. It's for the new single, after all.”

Hearing him sound more 'normal' he raises his eyes to look at him and answer his question. “Yeah… she told me to, when we spoke on the phone…” He blushes then. “The truth is I didn't… It's my brother's…” _‘No, I really don't know where you're going with anything…’_ he thinks confused by the constant changes in Magnus' behaviour. “I'm sorry, yesterday I came here straight after uni so…” He stops talking abruptly shaking his head. “I'm really sorry!! I'm wasting your time!” Taking the schedule with him he walks towards the door waiting for him.

~o~

The drive to the studio where he would be interviewed was somewhat long and tiresome. In addition to that, Alec's presence, sitting right beside him, was getting on his nerves. Basically just because he couldn't normally talk to him without wanting more. After a few minutes, they arrive and the interview takes place without mishap.

“What's is the name of the new single?” The journalist asks.

“Raziel. Next.”

"Where do you find the inspiration to write your songs?"

“In the people close to me. Next.”

"My sources told me that you have an appointment with Mr. Matt Greene this evening to talk about the video clip of Raziel. What do you feel about that since you two broke up not long ago?"

 _‘Well, shit, that was a good question. One that I wouldn't answer. Not even for all the gold in the world.’_ Magnus thought to himself. “It's true that I have an appointment with him, a business meeting. Nothing more. And I'd appreciate if you don't ask about my private life.”

"Of course. Last question then. Are you in love at the moment? Before you say anything, I **_know_** you don't want to talk about that but your fans are very eager to know because they love you."

“If they really love me they wouldn't mind who I'm meeting this evening or even who I'm having sex with. Famous or not, my life is mine and mine alone. That should be all. Thank you. Have a good night.” He gets up then walking back to the car, the dumbfounded interviewer staring back at him. Once he and Alec reach the car, he sits inside the car, furiously taking off his tie. “I hate when they do that. Those… bastards. I hope they become famous someday so they can feel the way I do with questions like those.” Running a hand through his hair, Magnus tries to calm himself before going to see Matt or he'll explode.

Alec looks at him concerned, biting his lip, angry at the interviewer for bringing him to that state. Still, he can’t help but notice how gorgeous Magnus looks even when he’s so frustrated. “Are you okay…?” He asks softly, aching to reach out and touch him, to comfort and calm him down somehow, but not daring to. He is supposed to be acting professionally after all. “I know it’s not my place to say that, and you probably don’t want to hear anything from someone like me, but I **_will_** tell you anyway… Just this once. I’m sure your fans are only being curious because they care and want to know you are happy…” _‘At least that’s what_ **I** _do… Since I could never have you, I wish you will be happy with whoever you are dating…’_ He thinks melancholically. “I understand it is annoying, but I’m sure they mean well, and I bet that if they knew you dislike personal questions so much they would immediately shut up.”

Alec said all that looking at Magnus and speaking in a low soothing voice he always used with Izzy when she was upset hoping it would work on him too, even a little and help him relax. “I will shut up now too. I’m sorry for prying and possibly annoying you further…” He adds in the end, dropping his eyes and bracing for his answer, praying he didn’t make him angrier.

Alec's words of support are like a breath of fresh air. He can feel his anger relenting, his pulse rate slowing down to a normal speed. Magnus looks at the boy and all he can think about is how much he wants to spend the rest of his life with him, waking up and falling asleep beside him. But life isn't easy, much less for Magnus. So he just nods at Alec's words, looking away even when it hurts by doing so. “It's okay, I'm used to it. Thanks for the nice speech though.”

“Oh…” He blushes, not expecting that. “Of course…” His words make him sad though. Being used to something painful so it won't hurt anymore… All he wants is to take all pain away from him… But it's not his place to do that, so he just nods, muttering in response. “You're welcome…”

Shrugging, Magnus turns to the driver to give him indications. “We're going back to Bane Records. I need to get ready for the meeting dinner with Mr. Greene. Quick, please. Avoid traffic if you can.”

"Yes sir" The driver answers diligently heading to the Studio.


	4. Uncovered past affairs

Once they arrive, Alec turns to look at him. “Umm…” He asks nervously. “Mr. Bane? What do you want **_me_** to do?”

Glancing at him he answers before getting off the car **.** “You can wait here or at the reception. Your choice.”

“Oh… Okay. I will wait inside then.” The boy mutters.

“Right.” Magnus says, leaving the door open for him, entering the building right after.

Alec follows him and enters the building too, sitting down at the reception, to wait for him to return.

“Tessa.” Magnus greets the girl and climbs the stairs to look for Ragnor. He needs him, more than ever.

Tessa doesn't have the time to answer so she frowns instead and turns to look at Alec. “I'm guessing the interview didn't go too well…”

He frowns too. “No…”

She gets up then and goes to sit by his side. "What happened?"

He sighs looking at her and says, keeping his voice low. “At first all seemed to be okay, but then the interviewer started asking him personal questions, first about Mr.Greene who he is meeting later today, and then if he's in love at the moment. He got angry, because he had warned him not to ask that type of questions and snapped at him and left… ”

Her eyes widen at his explanation, fully understanding Magnus' behaviour. “Oh God, Matt? You’re kidding, right? I can't believe it… That pompous little… brat.” She shakes her head, then takes a deep breath. “Now I get it. He must be hysterical… Can't blame him.”

He looks at her worried and asks without thinking about it. “Will he be okay? He said he's used to it by now and seemed calmer, but…” He stops for a moment and frowns again. “Were things that bad between them?” He asks knowing the answer, but wanting a confirmation too, by someone close to Magnus.

“Trust me, he always says that, even when he's **_dying_** inside. Things between them weren't bad, they were worse.” Tessa isn't sure if she should be talking about her friend's affairs with Alec but somehow she feels like he can be trusted. “Matt toyed with Magnus and once he got all he wanted and more, he threw him away like a used tissue paper. I can assure you tonight he won't be okay but if you're there maybe it will be more… bearable.”

At first he’s just worried, but then anger flashes in his eyes at the new information. “What??” Not caring about his façade at the moment, he asks her through gritted teeth. “Say, Miss Tessa… Do you really **_need_** that guy for the video? Would it be very bad if something were to happen to him?”

She looks suspiciously at him. “Why do **_you_** care? It's so difficult to read you… At first, you seemed unaffected and now you're asking me if you can kill Matt and make it look like an accident. Who are **_you_** exactly, Alexander Lightwood?”

His eyes widen for a second, realising his mistake but he regains his composure and answers her. “I’m **_no_** _**one**_. It’s just that… Mr. Bane seems like a really kind person, and I hate people like that Matt guy, taking advantage of nice people and hurting them.”

She smirks then. “Sure thing, **_champ_**. You may fool Magnus but you can't fool **_me_**. He's too innocent for his own good sometimes but I learned some acting lessons at the New York Film Academy so I kinda see through your façade… Say, which Acting School?”

He sighs defeated, smiling bitterly at her. “There really was no actual lie in this sentence though…” _‘Especially the **no one** part…’_ He thinks, and then it hits him and he smirks back at her. “Is that so…? Was it because you took acting lessons, or because you know **_everything_** about me as you said before?”

Tessa giggles then, unable to keep silent much longer. “You got me, pretty boy. Oh, how bad you got me… I'm sorry, that was… lame, I know. I guess I just wanted to… help a friend. Didn't work too well though.”

He laughs too. “Don't apologise! It was good! And you don't need to worry… I **_swear_** I wouldn't do **_anything_** to harm him.” He tells her, his tone serious, looking into her eyes so she can see he's telling the truth. “Mr. Bane is also aware I am an actor by the way… I told him yesterday… Though…” He blushes at the memory. “I'm not sure he heard me… Or cared.”

“I know, don't sweat it. And… Mr. Bane? Did he tell you to call him that? Oh my God, makes him look like an old man…” Giggles a bit more, then regains her composure to ask firmly. “He flirted with you but you turned him down, right? I suppose you had your reasons… or, more specifically, **_a_** reason.”

“He did say that, yeah…” He says, and then blushes even more at her spot on next guess and mutters. “How did you…” He looks down at his hands, fiddling nervously with the hem of the sleeve again. “My reason…” He mutters, thinking: _‘If he knew the truth he would send me away… And even though_ **l** _love him, I know_ **he** _could never have any serious feelings for someone like me…’_

“I knew from the first time I saw you come through that door.” Tessa smiles “And let's also say… that I've known him for a long time now.”

**~o~**

Meanwhile, Magnus managed to find Ragnor, who was doing his own nails and looked up the moment he saw him from the corner of his eye.

“Mags? What…?” He interrupted himself taking in his expression as a bad omen. “Did something bad happen?”

“That damn interviewer happened. Matt happened. **_My life_** happened. I hate all this…” Magnus sat on the couch in the dress room, covering his face with both hands, and Ragnor got up and went to him, the nail polish forgotten.

“What's with Matt again? I thought you broke up with him months ago.”

“We did. I mean, **_he_** did. But we have an appointment today, a dinner meeting and I want to look good **_so_** bad just to show him what he's missing, you know?”

“Yeah… I get it. But that won't change anything.”

“I know…” Magnus sounded miserable, breaking Ragnor's heart.

“Mags, get a grip on yourself. You're stronger than you think. You've had worse.”

Sighing loudly, he moved his hands away from his face and looked at Ragnor. “As my best friend, Ragnor, I'm **_begging_** you, help me with this.”

“Of course, Mags. You know I will.” Ragnor said, with a pained expression. He truly cared about Magnus and he'd do anything for him.

**~o~**

“What do you mean?” Alec asks her, not getting it at first. “Ah… He said he likes blue eyes and dark hair, is that why? But still…” He mutters, adding under his breath. “That's all I have…” He shakes his head then, changing the subject. “Doesn't matter. Please, Tessa, uhm, sorry… can I call you that? Can you please tell me what to do so he'll be okay at that dinner?”

Tessa looks surprised. “He even told you that? Wow, he **_really_** showed his hand to you… That's a new one.” She mutters that last part before paying attention to Alec's final words. “You can call me Tessa, yeah. And my advice to you is to support him in everything he says, whatever it is.”

“What are you two talking about? Me?” Magnus appears right behind them, shocking them both.

Tessa quickly gets up, her cheeks burning with embarrassment. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…”

“Relax, Tessa. I know you're worried about me. It's okay. As for you, Alexander,” Turns to look at the boy. “Get up and let’s get going. I don't want to be late.”

He doesn't understand how that's ‘showing his hand’ but he just nods at Tessa, taking note of her next words, when suddenly he hears Magnus' voice right behind them making his heart beat faster. Before he has time to calm down, Magnus calls him by his full name and his heart skips a beat. He realises that even though he hates anyone else saying it, he loves it when **_Magnus_** does… There is no time to daydream though, and he gets up hastily as prompted. “Yes, I'm so-” His words die at his mouth as soon as he lays his eyes on him, and he freezes, looking at him, his blue eyes widening. _‘Oh my God…’_ is all he can think, staring at him.

He looks impossibly gorgeous. He's wearing knee high boots and tight leather dark purple pants, with three shining silver belts around his slender waist. Alec gulps. His shirt is blood red, hugging his perfect body, and over it he wears a leather jacket with fur around the hood, the same colour as his shirt. His raven hair is styled in half spikes and full of glitter. _‘ **How** and **why** can he be so heartbreakingly perfect…?’_ His dazed mind can manage to piece out before he meets Magnus eyes, and shuts down. His eyes are the most beautiful thing he has ever seen. Green with flecks of gold scattered around the iris, and as if this wasn't enough, he has highlighted them with a black glittery pencil making them stand out even more. Alec sways slightly just by looking at him and realises it's because he forgot how to breath. He reaches out and takes hold of the couch to keep himself standing, trying, but unable to peel his eyes off Magnus.

Magnus can't help but notice Alec's blue eyes on him, making his insides burn. Seeing the boy reacting that way in his presence gives Magnus a little bit of hope. Maybe he isn't **_that_** straight after all. He could be bi. Everyone is bi until proven otherwise. Then, Magnus slightly shakes his head, trying to keep a cool head. “If I didn't know better, I'd think you just fell in love with me.” Half jokes with a poker face, grinning.

_‘_ **Just** _fell in love with you? How sorely mistaken you are…’_ Alec thinks after hearing his words. _‘Pull it together!!’_ He scolds himself. _‘If he finds out the truth you’ll never see him again!’_ He tries to regain his composure, even though his cheeks are burning and he chuckles, walking towards the door, acting cool, making sure to **_not_** look at him again. “How so?”

He stares at the boy then, trying to detect a lie in his words but he can't find any. Magnus is starting to be fed up of the situation, he just wants to go back to his normal crazy self so tonight he will do whatever it takes to make that happen. Following him, he leans in to whisper in his ear. “Forget I said anything, darling. Jokes aren't my strong point. My bad.” Then he turns to say goodbye to Tessa, blowing her a kiss, and passes Alec to be the first to sit inside the car.

Alec feels his heart stop again when Magnus leans close to whisper to him. Then he is gone, and Alec is left staring after him longingly, now that Magnus can’t see. He sighs under his breath and turns to Tessa. “Goodnight…” He mutters and rushes after him, not wanting to keep him waiting and enters the car,  pretending to study the schedule in his hands so he won’t have to look at him again.


	5. Enough is enough

When they arrive to the restaurant, a fancy one, it's almost 9pm. The maître takes them to their table where Matt is already sitting with a glass of wine, most probably of the best harvest. The moment their eyes met, Matt gets up to shake Magnus' hand.

“Matt.”

"Magnus, wow. You look fantastic."

“Thanks. Let's sit now.” They do and Magnus turns to look at Alec. “This is Alec, my new assistant. He'll be taking notes.” Matt looks suddenly annoyed because of Alec's presence, almost as if he wasn't expecting that meeting to be a business one but a personal one instead. A **_really_** personal one if the hungry stares he was sending Magnus' way were any indication.

Alec looks at Matt, his anger and jealousy bubbling on the inside wanting to scream at him to not stare at Magnus like that. Like he's nothing but a trophy he wants to acquire. He has no right to, when he already hurt him so much. To make matters worse, Matt looks really beautiful. He can't hold a candle to Magnus' overwhelming beauty of course, but still, he's very handsome and Alec can't help but wonder if Magnus would want to get back together with him, even after everything. Fighting back all his feelings and thoughts, he nods politely to him as a way of greeting, taking great pleasure in the annoyed look on his face.

Magnus is extremely pleased with Alec's behaviour in front of Matt. The news of their rupture months ago were much talked-about, with the people commenting on it almost everywhere. Matt decided to end their relationship the same day Magnus proposed to him. Apparently he wasn't ready to marry anyone, to marry **_him_**  in particular, quoting the bastard. But now they were practically strangers again so Magnus could win him over like he did in the past and give him a taste of his own medicine. The thing was, how to do it? Alec was there and he didn't want to flirt with Matt in his presence… though there was no other choice. “You changed your hairstyle. I like it.” Smiles playfully, knowing Matt loves when he's that direct. It works.

"Yeah… You know how is this world. You need to change or people get bored of you easily. But that doesn't apply to you… Gorgeous as ever, huh?" Matt grins, obviously getting on with the flirting.

Magnus is aware that he should be talking about business, he has a video clip to make after all and there's a lot of money at stake. But take revenge sounds much better… “Really…? Well, I could say the same about you…” Matt's smile is so wide he could split in two and Magnus can't help but notice how easy is to mess around with him.

Alec feels his heart constrict at their obvious flirting and looks away pretending to busy himself preparing papers getting ready to keep notes trying to look as professional as he can. But it only gets worse. Being done with the papers he tries to keep his composure and just stares at Magnus’ lips while he’s talking. They are painted dark purple and like everything else on him they are absolutely flawless. All he can think of is how much he’d like to kiss him. This thought only makes him depressed though, since he knows he never will. And it brings him back to the bitter reality, when not only he can’t kiss Magnus, but he has to watch idly while he happily flirts around. He sighs inwardly. He’s not selfish. If he **_knew_** Magnus would be happy with that piece of trash he wouldn’t care that it kills him watching him flirt. But he doesn’t trust Matt and doesn’t want Magnus to be hurt again…

Right after, a cute waitress appear with the menu, smiling and giggling because she just met one of her big idols. Magnus smiles at her and signs a photo for her. He always carries some to give away to his fans. That makes her extremely happy, and she takes notes of what they're going to eat with diligence. The flirting between Matt and Magnus continues as they eat, surprising the second of how fool Matt can be. “So, about the video clip, "Raziel". It is an angel so I clearly need someone with angelical looks.”

_‘Someone like_ ** _Alec_** ** _._** _’_ his brain thinks and he can't agree more.

"He falls in love with a warrior, right? And since you called me, I assume you want me to be that angel… I'd love to. Are there any make out scenes?"

Magnus bites back a nasty comment, forcing a devilish smile on his face. “You know me, of course there'll be sexy scenes.”

“Great. It's a deal then.”

 Alec smiles softly watching Magnus being so kind to the girl even though an hour ago he was so cross. However when she leaves and the flirting continues, he drops his eyes again not looking at them, picking at the delicious food but not eating a bite, all his appetite gone as his stomach feels tied into a knot. He gives up on the untouched food taking up his pen again keeping notes trying in vain not to think. He had never considered it before. He always thought the scenes on the videos were pure acting, but now he realises that's not the case, and finds himself unable to stay there another minute.

“Excuse me…” He mutters, addressing Magnus, not caring about Matt at all, gets up, trying to not let his frustration show, and makes his way to the bathroom pushing back the impulse to **_run_** there. He enters the equally luxurious room closing the door behind him sighing. “Dammit…” _'I can't do it… I can't watch this anymore…'_ He thinks shaking his head, laughing bitterly without humour. _'I don't think Tessa had a reason to worry… He seems to be enjoying himself after all… But I did promise to be professional…'_ Sighing he goes to splash some water to his face, trying to calm down. 


	6. Seeing Red

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Warning": There is a mildly verbally "explicit" part around the end.

Tessa is at the reception, still focused in her netbook, but her mind is somewhere else. She's really worried about Magnus and that boy, Alec, who won her over already. Matt is a spoilt brat and even cruel if someone gets in his way. That's why she grabs his phone and calls Alec right away. She needs to know if everything's okay.

Suddenly Alec hears Magnus’ singing and jumps. “Wha-?” He was so lost in thought he forgot about his cell phone’s ringtone. Making a mental note to change it in case it ever rings in front of Magnus, he picks up. “Hello?”

"Alec? Thank God you picked up… How is everything going? Are things with Matt… okay?" She asks hesitantly.

A short mirthless laugh escapes his lips. “Okay?? No. Things are **_great_**. There is no need to worry. Ma- I mean, Mr.Bane is happily flirting with him as we speak.”

She curses under her breath, running a hand through her wavy brown hair. "Oh God, I knew this would happen… It's worse than I thought… You need to do something, stop Magnus before he hurts himself more.” Sighs loudly. “But tell me, how are **_you_**?” She asks suddenly, sounding interested.

“Stop him? How? What can **_I_** do?” He asks more than happy to do so, though he doesn’t want to vex him. Then adds. “Me? What does it matter how am **_I_**??” he says a little surprised and then mutters his usual answer to that question, not even bothering to find a better lie or fix the dead tone in his voice. “I’m okay…”

Tessa snorts, leaning back in her chair. "Of course you're okay… Stop fooling yourself, and me. You like him, don't you? Then **_talk_** to him. Not about your… feelings but about Matt. He can't go on with that… attitude of his."

That wakes him up, her words snapping him out of his depressed state. _‘Great. I messed up again_ … _’_ “Please don’t tell him anything…” He pleads in a low voice, and then adds. “Okay… I will. Don’t worry.”

Huffs, exasperated. "I won't, I'm not a whistle-blower. But I suggest you to tell him… He'll be happy to know~"

Laughs again, bitterly. “Sure…”

Rolls eyes. "Why are you all so negative…? I swear to God… Say, where are you now?”

"All?" He asks confused. “I'm in the bathroom…” He decides to be sincere. “Their flirting was too much to take and I left for a moment to clear my head…”

"Yeah, I'm talking about you men…" Then she giggles at his last words. "That bad?"

He sighs, copying her answer from before. “Worse…” Sighs again. “I really want to hit that guy… He's disgusting.”

"I know what you mean… I almost killed him when he broke up with Magnus. You should have seen him. He was… devastated…" She sighs too. "He stopped me before I could do anything to the bastard…"

He bites his lip, his feelings divided between anger and pain, thinking of Magnus heartbroken like that and wanting more than anything to kill the monster that caused him pain. He sighs once more. “I will ask again. Do you **_need_** him…?”

"It's not for me to decide that, Alec. And I'm not sure if Magnus wants to do that video clip with Matt because of one of his **_brilliant_** plans or what so…"

“A plan? What do you mean???”

"Can't you tell? Really? Vengeance, of course."

“What??? You're telling me he doesn't mean it? He looked convincing enough…” He mutters.

"He studied acting too… That's how we met."

“Oh… Of course he did…” His heart sinks once more as he thinks of the day before, now convinced that Magnus **_was_** messing with him. “Maybe I should go?”

"He normally uses it for good though…" She shakes her head, internally cursing herself because she knows what Alec must be thinking. "Yeah. I'm sorry… I should go back to work, too. Good luck." She hangs up then, groaning in frustration. "How stupid can I be…?"

Alec sighs heavily one last time. That phone call was a rollercoaster. But somehow, he ended up more depressed than before. He leans against the wall, the cool tiles soothing against his skin. _'I should go…'_ He thinks but doesn't move.

**~o~**

Seeing Alec getting up hurts so much he can feel his heart break a little but it can't show on his face so Magnus only nods in approval.

Not much later, Matt does the same saying he has to go to the toilet as well and winking at him before taking off to the men's room. The boy is right there, leaning against the wall, looking at his reflection in the huge mirror. Matt smirks while approaching him. "Alec, right?"

A voice snaps him out of his reverie and he looks up, coming face to face with Matt. _‘_ ** _Great_** _. That's all I needed right now.’_ Struggling to take all aggressive edge off his voice (for now) he answers plainly. “Yes.”

Matt grins, noticing the change in Alec, and leans against the sink, right in front of him. "Is there something bothering you? You seemed angry out there. Or should I say… jealous?" His mischievous smile expands.

“What?” He can’t help the blush spreading through his pale cheeks _‘Was I **that** obvious?’_ Raises an eyebrow at him, trying to play it cool. “Jealous? What would I be jealous about?” He asks incredulously, painting his voice with disbelief towards Matt’s claim.

He doesn't answer for a while, silently checking Alec out. "You're cute… I'd definitely be into you if you were well-known but you are a nobody… Magnus, in other hand, is pretty famous and **_hot_**. We had lots of sex before, you know that, right? He's sooo good at that…" Matt bites his lower lip. " ** _So_** passionate… A real whore in bed." He smirks. "I made a mistake when I broke up with him but I didn't want to marry him. Like, really? If I were to marry him I'm sure he'd control me. What I do, with who, where… No **_fucking_** way. Ah-ah." Shakes his head, leaning on Alec's direction. "You get me, right? Nobody likes being controlled…" Shrugs then, leaning back. “However, tonight I'm gonna fuck him reeeal good, **_so_** hard he won't be able to sit for a whole week… Yeah…” Chuckles, picturing the scene in his mind. “With his legs spread wide, begging me to take him in the ass, moaning my name…” His eyes look for Alec's. “You're just a boy toy for him… You won't be in his bed. **_Ever_**.”

 _‘_ _Ignore him.’_ He chants in his head _‘Ignore him, ignore him, igno- **WHAT THE HELL DID YOU SAY?!?** ’ _He sees red and barely contains himself not to jump at him, but Matt just keeps talking and talking, snapping Alec’s connections to sanity word by word. Speaking for Magnus like that, with not a trace a respect finally does it, and before he can hold himself back, he grabs Matt's shirt, violently banging him to the wall and punching him. “Don’t you **_DARE_** speak about him like that! You **disgusting**!” Punch. “ **Miserable**!” Punch. “ **Excuse**.” Punch. “ **of a human**!!!”

**~o~**

Both, Alec and Matt, were taking too much time in the toilet and Magnus was starting to get worried. What if something happened…? He gets up and quickly goes to the men's room. What he sees once he enters leaves him paralysed with surprise. Alec has Matt pinned on the wall and he basically is using him like a punching bag. Regaining his senses, Magnus approaches them and grabs Alec's right hand to stop him from ruining things even more. “Alexander, calm down…” He says in a soothing voice.

His mind is blank as he keeps punching him enraged with him for everything he’s done and wants to do, when he feels a hand grabbing his arm and hears a voice he adores and recognises immediately, calling his name. He immediately snaps out of the haze and lets his arm fall, though it doesn’t since Magnus is still holding it. He turns to look at him, his blue eyes wide as he meets his emerald ones, and he whispers. “Ma… gnus…?” Forgetting to call him Mr.Bane as instructed.

“Yeah…” His heart skips a beat when Alec calls him by his name and not Mr. Bane as he instructed him. “It's me… Can you let Mr. Greene go? I'm afraid he cannot breathe…”

 _‘God… What did I do?’_ He doesn’t regret it, but knows that he will probably never see Magnus again now. He stares at him terrified as he speaks calmly to him, and drops his other hand too that was holding the scum. Still looking into Magnus’ eyes he whispers. “I’m sorry…” And moving past Magnus he runs away and keeps running, disappearing into the night.


	7. Stay

“Alec, wai-!” Magnus tries to stop him but the boy is already gone. Sighing, he turns to look at Matt, who is half out. “Can you stand? I'll take you home. And don't try _**anything**_. Not even demanding my assistant or I'll end you. You know I will. Are we clear?”

"Y-yeah…"

Coldly, Magnus helps Matt out and together they leave the place and enter a cab. When they arrive, Matt gets out right after he promised Magnus to stay quiet about what happened in the restaurant tonight and then  Magnus calls Tessa.

"Mr. Bane, what can I do for yo-?"

“Drop the formalities, Tessa. I want some info and I want it now.”

"Right…" Tessa sounds equally confused and scared.

“Give me Alec's address. No… Better yet, his parents' address.” When she gives it to him, he instructs the taxi driver to go there, as fast as he can. He arrives just in time to see Alec talking with a girl… Magnus frowns, asks the taxi driver to wait for him and gets out. He doesn't like to eavesdrop other's people conversations but this one he's interested in.

~o~

Alec reaches the house and collapses against a wall trying to catch his breath and calm down in vain. After a while he texts Izzy to come out and sighing he pulls at his tie carelessly with one hand while running his fingers through his hair, ‘ruining’ it with the other, sick of all those things that are nothing like him. And then he hears a ‘scream’.

“ **ALEXANDER LIGHTWOOD WHAT THE HECK DO YOU THING YOU ARE DOING?!?!?** ” He looks up to see a raging Izzy rushing his way to reprimand him for ruining the hair but once she sees the look on his face her attitude changes completely and she whispers worried once reaching him. “Brother? What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

He meets her eyes, not saying a word, and then surprises her by pulling her into a hug and burying his face in her hair, whispering too. “I messed up sis…”

“Alec, you’re worrying me, what happened?”

He lets her go sighing, sinking on the ground, his hands on his face. “There was this asshole. He was Magnus’ ex. He kept talking trash about him, and I lost it and punched him really bad…”

“Are you okay?” She says kneeling beside him and he laughs mirthlessly.

“Really sis? I just told you _**I**_ hit someone and you ask if _**I**_ am okay?”

She pouts. “From what you said he deserved it. And after all, aren’t I allowed to worry about my big brother?”

He sighs, smiling a little at her, and hugs her once more, briefly. “Thank you.”

“Of course silly!” She says returning the hug. “What are you gonna do now? Will you stay?”

“No… I came to take my bike…” He smiles sadly at her. “I’ll be fine don’t worry… Go to sleep. I will call you tomorrow.”

“Okay…” She agrees reluctantly knowing he won’t say anything else for now. “Goodnight. I love you.”

“Love you too…” He mutters as she disappears in the house. He gets up and stands there for a moment, the events repeating themselves in his mind and frustrated, he punches the wall hard, with his left hand. “Stupid!” He hisses through gritted teeth and then he sighs again giving up, and goes to take his bike and return home.

~o~

The girl is as gorgeous as Ragnor described her… Alec's girlfriend, fiancée? He zones out a bit of the conversation until he hears "brother", "sister" and that Matt provoked Alec by saying some bad things about him. Magnus isn't surprised. He knows Matt very well, after all… Paying attention to the siblings, he can see how much they love each other and he can't help but smile. Then, they say goodbye and he sees Alec punching a wall. That's when Magnus decides to act, leaving his hiding place behind. “I found you.”

For the second time this night Magnus’ voice pulls him out of the haze he’s lost in. He jolts and turns to look at him. “Ma-” He almost says again, but now fixes the mistake in time. “Mr. Bane? What are you… doing here…?” He drops his eyes, waiting for him to snap, believing he's certainly angry with him for ruining everything.

“I was worried, you ran away and I didn't know where you went… so I called Tessa.” His eyes are fixed on Alec's hand and he can feel himself aching to touch him. “You're hurt…”

“What?” He looks up surprised thinking. _‘Worried? Why?’_ and then he sees Magnus looking at his hand. He brings it in front of him to check the damage. It _**does**_ hurt a lot. “It’s nothing…” He whispers looking down again.

“You need to take care of that.” Magnus says taking a step forward. “Come with me, there's a cab waiting right around the corner.”

“What?” He repeats confused, looking at him again. “But I… You…”

“We will talk about what happened later, let's go.” Cautiously, he reaches for his hand.

Magnus takes his hand and he feels a stab of pain. He winces and bites his lip harshly, trying unsuccessfully to cover up his reaction so he won’t realise.

“I'm sorry!” He moves his own hand away as he mutters a ‘Stupid, why did you do that…?’ “Alec, please, come with me.”

“No!” He reaches out to him with his other hand, but then drops it. “Don’t… I should apologise… I…” Bites his lip again looking down. “I’m sorry…”

“You didn't do anything wrong, Alexander…” Magnus sighs, running a hand through his hair. “I heard what he said about me… _**I'm**_ sorry I eavesdropped your conversation with your… sister. But I want you to understand that I'm not angry with you. On the contrary, I'm very grateful because you had the guts to do what I didn't in the past… Give Matt Greene a lesson… So thank you, Alec.” He smiles honestly at him.

His heart is beating rapidly and when he smiles at him like that it almost stops. He blushes looking away. “I… You’re welcome…”

“Yeah… So, are you coming? The cab is waiting and it's true that I'm pretty rich but I like to waste my money in more… pleasurable things, if you know what I mean.” Winks at him.

Alec blushes more at that and says, “Yes…” Answering both his questions.

“Okay then, leave your bike there and let's get going. I need my beauty sleep~”

“Wha-?” He says again surprised, but still following him. “Where are we going and why?”

“To my loft, of course.” Shrugs, making his way to the cab, still waiting near there. “We need to talk.”

“Oh… right…” He drops his eyes, following him, his heart still beating wildly in his chest.

~o~

Already in his building, he opens the door's loft for the boy. “Please, come on in.”

‘ _Magnus’ house…’_ He gulps and enters slowly, still not daring to look at him. Despite what he said, Alec can't believe he isn't angry at him for acting so impulsively… There's a scent lingering all around the place that he recognises as Magnus’. Sandalwood and burned sugar… It's… intoxicating.

“Take a sit, I'll be right back after changing my clothes.” He lets him know before disappearing into a room.

“Okay…” Alec nods and looks at him go, then moves to a purple couch, nervously sitting down afraid to even touch anything.

After a few minutes Magnus comes back, carrying a first aid kit. Then he sits beside him and holds out a hand without saying a word.

He looks up at him, his eyes wide. “Wha-?”

“Your hand. We need to take care of that injury.” He urges him, taking his hand on his own to disinfect it. “It will sting, I'm sorry.”

“Oh… it's okay.” He mutters. “I deserve it…” He looks at him for a moment and notices for the first time, that he's dressed in only a silk black kimono and hastily drops his eyes to their hands. His heart is beating so hard he's afraid Magnus is going to hear it. It's all too much. The house, Magnus being so close, holding his hand with surprising gentleness…

“You shouldn't have done that. Punching Matt, I mean. He deserved that and more, he's been an asshole all his life…” He's whispering the words while gently treating Alec's hand. “But I couldn't live knowing that he could've ruined your life because of me, Alexander. I just… I'm glad I got there in time to stop you…” He looks up to stare at him, at his beautiful blue eyes still a bit red and swollen. “It was my fault…”

He listens to his words in awe, loving the feel of Magnus’ soft hands on his until suddenly Magnus looks into his eyes and he freezes momentary. “No…” He says, after the shock from Magnus’ apology makes him recover. “What are you talking about?  _**Nothing** _ is your fault. I was stupid, and even though I don’t regret punching him, even for a moment, I’m sorry I upset you…” He says and drops his eyes, adding in a whisper. “I'm sorry… You shouldn’t concern yourself with me. I’m not important…”

“Wha…? Why would you say that? I brought you here, to my loft, instead of… bringing that bastard to have sex with him. Because, yeah, I was thinking of doing that.” He looks down at Alec’s hand, he's putting a bandage now. “But you matter, Alec. You matter so much that I left his sorry ass alone in that pretentious chalet of his just to look for you.”

He blushes at his words, staring at him dumbfounded even when Magnus drops his eyes, not believing his own ears.  _‘I matter…? To you?’_ He thinks, the words swirling into his head. “I’m glad you didn’t…” He manages to say in the end, referring to Matt. “You deserve so much more.” He blushes more, realising he shouldn’t have said that and hastily adds what he really wants to ask. “But I don’t understand… why would you worry about me…? You should just fire me after what I did… I couldn’t have been more unprofessional…”  _‘Why would I matter to you…?’_ he thinks again, unable to get the words out to ask the most important question.

“I thought about that on the way to your parents' house. What you did back there in the restaurant was _**really**_ unprofessional of you, yeah. Irresponsible too. I've known Matt for some years now and I'm sure he would have made of your life a living hell if I hadn't step in so, as I said before, I'm glad I could make it on time.” Carefully bandages his hand. “About firing you… Not gonna happen. I _**need**_ you, Alexander.” Glances at him through his eyelashes. “But I can't always protect you. I'm not a bodyguard nor a babysitter. You're an adult and I want you to act that way from now on. If that's okay with you.”

‘ _Seems like you saved me again then…’_ he thinks, listening to him. And then Magnus says it again, confusing him more. _“I_ _ **need**_ _you.”_ Before he has time to wonder though, Magnus looks at him again, scattering his thoughts with his breathtaking appearance. But still he doesn’t miss a word he says, and when he’s done, Alec drops his eyes ashamed, his cheeks red. “I’m really sorry… Thank you for everything… I promise I won’t cause you any more trouble…”

Sighs, feeling frustrated because it seems like he cannot break Alec's barrier. For a minute, he stays there in silence, caressing Alec's hand with his thumb, and then he lets go of it and gets up. “For now, let's go have some rest. It's late. You can stay on the couch for tonight.”

He looks up at him surprised, his heart drumming. “Are you sure I should? I just said I wouldn't cause you more trouble…”

“You will if you go at this hour in the night. Please, stay.”

“Okay… Also, thank you, for…” Raises his bandaged hand to show what he means, while staring at him.

Looks at his hand then back at him. “It was nothing, I did it as a gratitude for what you did, even if I don't approve the method.”

Drops his eyes again, fiddling nervously with the hem of the suit. “I'm sorry…”

“Oh, I almost forgot… Your suit. Obviously you can't sleep with it so I'll lend you something. Come to my room and try some clothes on.”

His eyes widen a little at that but he knows Magnus is right, so he just nods, sighing. “Sorry…”

“Would you stop apologizing? It wasn't your fault, not really.” Sighs while going to the bedroom and opening the wardrobe. “Choose whatever you like.”

Bites his lip to keep from apologising again. “What? No, I couldn't… Just pick whatever  _**you** _ think…”

“I don't know your size and I'm really tired so please, _**please**_ you choose. I'm gonna go grab something to drink…” Exiting the room, he goes to the kitchen and almost drinks a gallon of milk.

“Oh God…” He mutters once Magnus leaves. His hands shaking nervously, he looks at the closet trying to find the oldest and darkest piece of clothing he can find. A really hard thing to do, but in the end he manages to find a dark blue t-shirt tossed in a corner and a pair of gray sweatpants. He puts the pants on first and then takes off the tie and the shirt, facing the closet.

Comes back a few minutes later determined to apologize himself since he was a bit harsh to him. But then he freezes in the doorway, staring at Alec's back.

He's so nervous that he doesn't hear Magnus and just puts the shirt on and leans down to pick up his clothes and fold them.

The big burn scar got covered almost immediately but he got a good view of it before that happened. Regaining some composure, he knocks at the door, giving away his position. “Do you want to have some dinner? I noticed that you didn't touch your food back there… You must be hungry.”

He was staring absently on Magnus' room when he heard the knock and jumped. “Ah… No, it's okay, thank you…” His stomach is tied to a knot from the nervousness and everything that happened, there's no way he could eat anything…

“Okay, fine… I'll get you some blankets, it's cold in here at night… Would you care sleeping on the couch?” He can't help but think of the burn scar like a fresh one, like it could still hurt when being touched or grazed. 

“Okay… Thank you… I don't mind, no… Anywhere is fine… Are those okay?” He asks pointing to the clothes.

Magnus  finally looks at him. “Yeah… Those look good on you.”

Alec  looks back in his eyes, his heart beating fast. “Thank you… I'm sorry for all the trouble…”

Shakes his head. “No problem.” Grabs the blankets from inside the wardrobe. “Come.”

Follows him back to the living room, standing beside the couch waiting for instructions.

Gets the couch ready. “I'm sure that after all that happened you're pretty tired so I'll let you rest.”

Alec nods. “Thank you again… Goodnight.”

“I'll be in my room if you need me.” He says before leaving him there.

He lies down under the covers, staring up at the ceiling.  _‘How am I supposed to sleep?’_ Being so close to Magnus, in his house, Alec’s heart is beating rapidly in his chest and he can’t stop thinking about him. How beautiful he was, his gentle hands when he took care of his injury even though he didn’t have to… And even thanking him… For what he did, even though it was irresponsible and stupid…Telling him he was important…He sighed fiddling with the material of Magnus’ shirt. That situation was beyond any fans’ craziest dreams…  _‘But to me you’re not just an idol…’_ he thinks, closing his eyes, wrapping his arms around himself, touching the soft material, inhaling his intoxicating scent, wishing to commit to memory everything around him that felt like Magnus.

Magnus was pacing up and down his room, unable to sleep, thinking about how fortunate he was to have the boy there, in his loft, sleeping on his couch, wearing some of his clothes… He wanted nothing more than to have him on his bed, cuddle him… Now that he knew the gorgeous and dark-haired girl wasn't his girlfriend, he could have his way with him. Little by little, he didn't want to scare him off or making him think that he was just a toy to him or something like that. After changing to his pajamas and reading some pages of a book he was almost finishing, he turned off the lights and finally went to sleep.

 

 


	8. Nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note for this new chapter: "Raziel" is an original song written by me, Aeriel ^^
> 
> Hope y'all still like the story!
> 
> A & N

Hours later, Alec was still lying there wide awake, his eyes open again, unable to believe that everything that happened these past two days wasn’t a dream. And more than anything, the events of that night. But there was more than that. Since **_that_** day, Alec had been unable to sleep… Only when he discovered Magnus' music he could finally sleep in peace again, using it to shut out everything. The irony. It was his music that had saved him two years ago, but now that he was so close to him, something he had wished for, for all that time, he was too restless. All he could do was repeat every interaction with him on his mind, again and again, to keep the other thoughts out, while focusing on Magnus’ soft breathing, echoing in the silence, to keep himself calm. When he finally managed to fall asleep exhausted, early in the morning, an old nightmare came back to haunt him…

“No…” Alec mutters, moving restlessly in his sleep, tears falling from his closed eyes. “Please… no…” His crying turns to sobbing and he struggles to breathe. “M-ax… No… No, no, no…”

It's really early in the morning, the sunlight warming his face. Groaning and partially awake, Magnus turns to avoid it. That's when he hears him. Too low but it's there. Alec. Crying…? He fights off the sheets and stumbles across his room and the living room to reach him. He isn't mistaken. Alec is sobbing and muttering something in his dream… A name. Max. _‘Who is Max…?’_ He thinks to himself before kneeling beside him and stroking his back in what he thinks is a comforting way. After all, nobody did that for him before.

Too lost in the nightmare to feel his soft touch, he keeps on sobbing and muttering. “I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I’m sorry…”

He starts to panic, not knowing what else to do. Should he keep stroking his back or wake him up? He knows nothing, and it feels like he's an amateur singer again, shaking on the stage, fighting to find his voice… Magnus closes his eyes then and sings, softly, just for Alec to hear him.

>   _“And the angel tore off his wings, putting on a smile. He wanted nothing but to live freely. To love and sin, just like you and me…”_

Magnus’ voice manages to reach him, like so many times before and he stills for a moment, the nightmare dissolved. He opens his blue eyes disorientated and looks up at him, but can’t stop sobbing and shaking. “Ma-Magnus?”

When he hears his voice, he stops singing and opens his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, it's me. You were having a nightmare…”

“I'm… sorry…” He pieces out through broken sobs. “I'm sorry… I… woke you… up… I didn't… mean…” He still struggles to breathe, tears falling from his eyes. “I'm sorry…”

“Why you…” It breaks his heart seeing him cry so he reaches to touch him but changes his mind at the last minute and hugs him instead. “Cry all you want… Let it all out… I'm not going anywhere…”

He gasps softly, surprised, but immediately hugs him back, clutching at him like a lifeline, sobs wracking his body. “I'm sorry…” He whispers again, and then, believing he’s still dreaming, asks him softly. “Magnus… Can you… can you please… sing again…?”

Those words make him frown. _‘No, it can't be… Maybe he means it because my voice calms him. Better than nothing…’_ Magnus says to himself, then takes a deep breath and sings another verse of "Raziel".

>   _“Just like you and me, demons with a human face. Raziel fell in a lake, the cold water freezing his now mortal body. But he was content, his dream came true. Because he wanted nothing but to live freely. To love and sin, just like you and me. Just like you and me, demons with a human face…”_  He ends, whispering in his ear.

Alec sighs content, focusing on his voice, his touch and his scent around him and relaxes in his arms, his heartbeat and breathing slowly returning to normal. By the time Magnus stops singing he’s barely conscious, having been up all night, and exhausted, he drifts away.

Carefully, he lays Alec down on the couch, covering him with the blanket and gently wiping the tears away, then bends down to kiss him on the forehead. “Sweet dreams, sayang…”


	9. A painful past

Alec sleeps soundly for another hour or so, when the smell of coffee wakes him up. He sits up slowly, putting a hand over his eyes and groaning softly, his head killing him because of all the crying, though he doesn’t remember a thing. “Where am I?” He mutters completely disorientated, looking at the house through his fingers. And then he sees Magnus in the kitchen, and **_everything_** comes back to him. Or so he **thinks**.

Magnus is humming a song while making breakfast, moving around to sip at his coffee and check his phone from time to time.

He slowly gets up, and hears Magnus humming one of his old songs. He stands still for a moment, not even breathing, so he can listen to his quiet voice. Wishing to be closer to him he starts walking towards the kitchen, but then a tiny fluffy kitten runs to his feet purring. He picks it up on his arms and smiles petting it. “Hello beautiful…”

“That's Chairman Meow, he seems to like you…” Magnus suddenly appears by their side.

He jolts, surprised to hear Magnus’ voice beside him, and looks up at him for a moment, then back to the cat. “Oh… Nice to meet you Chairman…” He tells the kitty, petting it behind the ears as it keeps purring. He then turns to Magnus again, a small smile on his face. “Good morning…”

He loves seeing him smile like that, a nice view for a change. So he corresponds to the gesture. “Good morning… How did you sleep?”

“Uh…” He bites his lip nervously. “I don’t know… I… Not good, I guess… I had a weird dream…” He blushes thinking of Magnus hugging him, not realising it **_really_** happened. “And now my head is killing me… What about you?”

“I knew that would happen… Take this.” Holds out a painkiller and a glass full of water for him. “Do you want breakfast? I made scrambled eggs for a regiment.” He practically ignored the dream implications and that last question. Magnus didn't want to talk about himself, he wasn't important at that very moment.

“Thank you…” He takes them, downing the medicine. “I would love breakfast…” The thought of eating Magnus' cooking makes him feel better already. “How did you know? About the headache?” He asks confused.

Serves the eggs in two plates, hesitating to answer. “You cried and talked in your sleep…”

He stares at him terrified, putting the glass on the counter. “I… did…? I'm sorry… Did I wake you up?”

“I didn't really mind… but yeah, you said something… "Max". May I ask who is it…?” Asks carefully.

“I'm sorry…” He says again, for waking him up, and then pales when he hears Max's name. “Max is…” He says, looking at him, anguished. “ ** _Was_** …” He corrects himself. “Max was my little brother…”

Almost drops the plate with the scrambled eggs. “I'm sorry, I didn't want to remind you of such a painful experience…”

“Please don't apologise…” Alec says in a low voice. “It's not your fault, you didn’t know…” He then drops his voice even more, and adds looking down. “Everything is **_my_** fault…”

“Your fault? How is that your fault…?” Magnus asks softly.

“I… If I wasn't… "me"…If I wasn't so… useless… He would be alive now…” His hands start trembling slightly. “I…It's my fault… I couldn't… save him… I should have been the one to die…” He finally says, his blue eyes never looking up.

“Hey, no, that's not fair… He isn't here to defend you, you know?” Tries to cheer him up his way. “You just said that. He was your little brother, he must have adored you… And I'm sure that you did what you could to save him. But sometimes that… isn't enough.”

His argument works and Alec smiles sadly, his eyes shining with unshed tears, as he thinks of Max who would really scold him if he heard his words. “You’re right he would be really mad…” He sighs. “ ** _Nothing_** I ever do is enough…” He adds. “But…” He looks up at him, truly thankful for his presence, and forces a smile on his face. “I’m sorry… I shouldn’t be pestering you with my problems… I’ve done enough already…”

“That's where you're wrong… Because I already told you, didn't I? You matter… To me you're really important even if you refuse to believe it, Alexander…” Magnus says, looking back at him. “And I want you to trust me and tell me anything you want, no matter how hard it is. I could never betray you.”

He drops the smile, unable to hold onto it any longer, and looks at him pained. “How can I be important? To anyone? To **_you_**?” He whispers. “I don’t understand… But I know I can trust you… I do…” He drops his eyes again, taking a deep breath to keep himself from crying and says in a low voice.

“There was a fire in the middle of the night… My little sister came to me crying and woke me up telling me about it. I took her outside but then I saw Max was still in the house… I thought he would be outside with my parents but they had gone out earlier and still hadn’t returned. So I went back inside to get him but before I could reach him, part of the burning ceiling collapsed on me and I fell unconscious. When I came to, it was all over. I was in the hospital, alive, and he was dead. Not only I couldn’t save him, but I survived when he didn’t. I failed him… I should have protected him… I should have died instead…” He says again, his voice broken and his blue eyes glassy, as he struggles to hold back his tears.

Magnus listens carefully, having problems to digest everything that Alec was telling him. It was too much, too painful and heartbreaking. When Alec finished, Magnus slowly approached and hugged him.

“I didn't mean to… but I saw the burn scar in your back last night… And I can tell by that, that you tried very hard to save your precious little brother… But life is cruel sometimes, so is fate. You couldn't save him probably because it was written before you were born. However, you cannot simply say things like you should have died instead of him because you will make the people who love you suffer… and cry. When I was a child there was no one to tell me that so I grew up having trust issues and that's probably the reason I act so coldly sometimes? But yeah, I… I think I'm a better person now. Catarina, Ragnor and Tessa helped me when I most needed it, I learned to rely on them… It's good to have someone by your side when you're feeling so down and suicidal, you know…” Magnus mutters against Alec’s dark raven hair. “I'm telling you all this because I want you to rely on me, Alexander. Just tell me what you need and I will give it to you without hesitance.”

“Magnus… I…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BTW, Isn't Magnus trying to cheer him up and comfort him the sweetest thing ever???? <3333333  
> -Niennor (AKA Magnus' trash whose Alec is showing) x'DDD


	10. The way you are

Once Magnus hugged him, his self-control collapsed and he broke down, the tears he held back for so long falling, as he fought to breathe through broken sobs. His sweet words only made him cry harder, not believing that was really happening. Alec hugged him back, holding on to him, for as long as he would be allowed to… He felt anguished, guilty, happy but also in more pain, hearing that Magnus had been hurt like that too. And he wanted to tell him… _“You… I need_ **you** _… Please, please stay with me…”_ But he couldn’t do that… Magnus was just being kind to him… It’s not like he felt anything more.

“I’m sorry…” He said instead. “I… I’m so sorry… I’m only causing you trouble…”

“You aren't… When are you going to understand that? How can I make you see that?” Magnus hugs him even tighter.

“I don't… I can't… I'm sorry…” _‘Not even_ **you** _could make me understand…’_ Alec thinks. “How could I be anything else than…” He knows he should pull it together. He should just lie and tell him he's okay… But being in his arms is all he ever wanted and he can't find the strength to move…

“It's okay, I get it…” Magnus mutters, staying like that for a bit longer.

 _‘There must be someone else. Not that girl but someone who lives in his heart… But where are they now? Why aren't they comforting him? I wish I was them…’_ The very thought hurts like a bitch but what else can he do?

“I'm so sorry…” Alec mutters again, losing himself in his touch, inhaling his scent, trying to empty his head. Finally he manages to calm down, and tells him, still not letting go completely. “Thank you… For everything… I'm sorry… And… I'm sorry… You were so sad too…”

“I told you I don't matter right now. Just… cheer up. For me?” Squeezes Alec before letting him go.

He rubs his eyes, with the back of his hand, immediately missing Magnus' touch, and looks up at him, trying to smile. “Of course you matter…” He says, and adds, smiling a bit more. “Thank you… For being so kind to me… I really don't deserve it…”

“You do.” Magnus smiles back, tenderly. “You are my precious assistant, after all, and I need you in top shape.”

His smile warms Alec's heart and he chuckles at his words. “Right. I promise I will be… I won't cause you any more trouble.”

“Great… But first eat your breakfast, it's getting cold.” Magnus half-scolds him.

“Oh… I'm sorry…” Alec smiles, genuinely now, looking down at his plate. “It looks amazing…”

“I'm a man of many talents.” The man winks at him. “Bon appétit, sayang.”

He blushes at that and looks down hastily, taking a bite. His eyes widen. “Wow… It **_is_** amazing!!! What does sayang mean?”

“You know, that's a **_really_** good question…” Magnus says smirking. “One I'd love to answer but it's getting late and I need to get ready to work~”

Alec's eyes widen with realisation. “I'm sorry!! I wasted too much of your time with my shenanigans! Ah… should I go home? Or come along in that suit?” He makes a mildly disgusted face at the thought. “What do you want me to wear at work?”

“Nah, I'll take you home with my Porsche so you can get some clean and perfectly ironed clothes.”

“But you shouldn't go out of your way for me… You're going to be late…”

Sighing, Magnus sips his coffee. “Well, **_you_** are my assistant, Alec… You're the only one who can change my schedule so~”

“I'm still amazed that you don't want to fire me after everything…” He chuckles.

“I know, I'm too benevolent… Thank me later.” Magnus winks at him before putting the cup in the sink. “I'll go look for the car keys. I'm not used to driving so I'm not sure where I put them last time I did.”

Alec looks at him lovingly once he turns his back, but then he remembers and calls after him. “Uh… shouldn't I go change too?”

“Or you could go naked… Not that I'd mind.” The man smiles playfully before disappearing into his room.

Blushing crimson at his teasing, Alec calls after him. “I **_would_** mind!” Then runs off embarrassed to change.

Magnus is laughing openly now, then goes back to the living room where Alec is almost done. “I prefer you like that, you know?”

Alec is still blushing when he turns to face him. Magnus is wearing an elegant maroon suit, his hair is styled in spikes and his gorgeous eyes are emphasized by dark eyeliner once more. As always, he is breathtaking. “Like… what?” Alec finally manages to ask after remembering how to breathe.

“Smiling, joking, looking at me like you want to eat me.” Magnus grins.

Blushing even more, Alec tries to joke his way out of it. “Eating you doesn't sound like a very nice thing to do after all you did for me… Not to mention your fans would have my head if I harmed you!” He chuckles nervously.

“Oh, but it would make a **_very_** ni~ce compensation…” Magnus sighs dramatically and winks at him. “Come on now, Snow White. We have a carriage to take and so little time…”

Alec cocks his head to the side looking at him confused. “Compensation?” He mutters, and then adds, “Don't laugh at me…”

“Oh, darling, you have so much to learn…” Shakes his head, making his way to the front door.

Alec follows him out hastily not wanting to make him run late.

Magnus suddenly grabs him by the arm. “Don't run, I don't want you falling down the stairs…”

Looking up at him surprised, Alec's heart skips a beat, and then to hide his true feelings, he pouts, muttering,. “I'm not **_that_** clumsy…”

“Right…” Magnus mutters while slowly letting him go. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to overstep our boundaries…”

Alec can't help but laugh at that. “Seriously? You call **_that_** overstepping our boundaries?? After all **_I_** did??” Suddenly he comes back to his senses, blushing. “Oh God… And I did it again… I'm really sorry… I don't know what's gotten into me…”

Biting his lower lip, Magnus tries hard not to laugh. “Oh, boy… You never cease to amaze me.”

Alec blushes harder dropping his eyes to the floor. “I'm sorry…”

“Why? It's funnier that way.”

“Funnier? I'm being rude and disrespectful…”

“No, right now you're being a party pooper.”

Alec drops his head more then, torn. He loves talking to him freely but he knows he shouldn't. It's not his place to do so, after all. Even if Magnus doesn't seem to mind… He sighs. “I'm really sorry… please tell me what you want me to do…”

“Just be yourself, Alexander. I hate seeing you act like you have no soul. You aren't a puppet…”

Hearing that, Alec almost laughs again, thinking, _‘Be myself…? So should I push you against a wall and kiss you, like I wanted to do since the first second we met…?’_


	11. Gabriel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Since the answer to all the comments would be about the same we are answering here instead of individually xD  
> Obviously, we all want Alec to do it, Magnus most of all! But Alec doesn't know that! He is certain that there is no way in Hell (or Heaven xD) for Magnus to want /him/.  
> Oh well... He still may do it, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote and recorded the song for Nie (as a surprise) before a person asked me here if it was possible to hear Raziel. I was really surprised by that and thought... "Why not post it? It won't hurt anyone... Well, only their ears maybe" xD So here it is. Hope y'all like it, it took me a lot of effort... -Aeriel  
> http://make-sterek-canon.tumblr.com/post/143293614682/this-is-the-first-time-i-write-and-sing-a
> 
> Haha, so funny... NONSENSE. THE SONG IS AMAZING. -Niennor

**_Previously..._ **

 

>  Hearing that, Alec almost laughs again, thinking, _‘Be myself…? So should I push you against a wall and kiss you, like I wanted to do since the first second we met…?’_

* * *

Instead of doing that, Alec bites back his words and his desire once more and mutters. “But I’m supposed to act like a **_professional_** … I shouldn’t be talking to you in that manner… I even accidentally called you by your first name before, even though you had clearly instructed me differently… And also… You **_saw_** a glimpse of my true self, and it wasn’t very nice…” Alec finally looks up at him. “You don't want that miserable thing hanging around, do you? I'll cramp your style!” He adds, putting on a playful smile he doesn’t quite feel, trying to lighten the mood.

“If at all, you make me stand out even more, babe.” Magnus says playfully, ignoring everything else.

Alec blushes crimson at the endearment, telling himself, _‘It doesn't mean anything, it couldn't…’_ and mutters. “You don't need **_me_** to stand out…” _‘You are like a light in the dark wherever you go…’_ He thinks.

“I know I'm a bit… flamboyant but I like it.” Magnus shrugs, not exactly taking it as an insult nor a compliment either.

“Ah, I'm sorry, I didn't mean…” He mutters, worried he may have taken it wrong.

Chuckles, reaching the Porsche. “It's okay, darling. Get in the car or I'm leaving you here~”

Alec blushes again at his words, his heart beating like crazy, and he hurries, getting into the car.

“You'll have to give me indications since I don't know where you live.”Magnus turns the key, starting the engine.

“Oh… Okay.” He says, and starts doing so, once the car starts.

They arrive within 15 minutes, damn traffic aside, and Magnus parks right in front of the building. “I can wait here or go with you. Your choice.”

Alec thinks for a moment and since he remembers the apartment doesn't look messy, he tells him. “You can come in if you want… So you won't be bored…”

“Okay.” He gives him a lopsided smile before getting out the car.

His heart skips a beat every time Magnus smiles _‘How can you be so beautiful…? It's so unfair…’_ He thinks, but then hears a noise and jumps, remembering. “Oh my God, Gabriel! I forgot!” He runs up the last few stairs and opens the door getting inside and leaving it open for Magnus. He kneels down hugging the cat who ran to him and says, “I'm so sorry baby…”

“Gabriel? Who…?” Follows him inside and then stops in his tracks as he takes in the scene before his eyes. It's really sweet. Smiling, he approaches them. “A cat?”

He gets on his feet carrying the big fluffy tabby cat on his arms, and smiles at Magnus. “This is Gabriel!” His smile drops. “I'm awful…” Alec mutters. “I totally forgot about him with everything that happened… Gabriel, this is Mr. Bane.” He adds petting the cat, smiling to himself, thinking, _‘But of course you've heard all about him…’_

“It's a cutie…” _‘Just like his owner.’_ He adds in his mind before reaching to pet the animal. “But please, stop calling me Mr. Bane, it makes me feel old… From now on, call me Magnus. Okay?”

“Uhm… Are you sure?” He asks shyly. “You were the one who told me to… Just yesterday…”

“Yesterday was yesterday, today is today.” He interrupts him. “Say after me: Mag-nus.”

He blushes, pouting. “Don't treat me like a child… I know your name…” _‘Almost better than my own…’_ He thinks.

“I'm not, I just want you to say it. That's all.” Magnus winks at him.

Alec bites his lip. _‘Damn you… why are you affecting me so much?’_ “Magnus…” He whispers, obliging to his request.

“Yeah…” Whispers as well, staring back with dilated pupils.

“Happy now?” The boy whispers again, entranced by him.

Magnus clears his throat then, averting his eyes. “So… this is where you live.”

Once the singer takes his eyes off, the 'spell' is broken and Alec blinks, regretfully, regaining his composure. “Yes… It's nothing much.”

“I like it, looks… comfy.” He ends up saying.

He chuckles nervously. “Compared to your loft it's _nothing_ …” Gabriel meows then and Alec looks at him, leaving him down. “I'm sorry cielo…” He tells the cat and then looks at Magnus again. “Please have a sit, do you want to drink something? I will be right back…”

“I'd love to stay here a bit more chit-chatting with you but we must get going… so no, I'm good.”

“Yes, I'm sorry for wasting so much time…” He quickly fills Gabriel's bowl and then runs off to his room to change. He removes his shirt and then remembers Magnus didn't answer before, so he peeks at him from the door and asks. “What should I wear?”

“Whatever you want to wear, darling. Because I'm sure you don't own any other suit, right?”

 _‘Darling again?’_ He blushes. “Uh… Yeah… But you said before you didn't like my clothes…”

“I'm not a big fan of them… but they're yours so…” Shrugs while letting his eyes wander over Alec's naked torso.

“I don't… understand…” He mutters and then realises he's half naked and blushes disappearing in the room. He picks his newest pair of jeans and a blue t-shirt Izzy got him and gets dressed.

He's walking around in the living room, looking for photos. “Your apartment looks so empty though… How long have you been living here?”

“About… two years?” Alec says appearing, dressed already. “Since… nevermind. Are those okay?” He asks about the clothes.

Magnus knew the moment Alec said "nevermind" what he meant by that. Probably the accident… He sighs internally and forces a smile on his face turning around to look at the boy. He loves what he sees. “Perfect. At least you don't look like a beggar… That was my first impression of you.” chuckles.

“Oh my…” Alec chuckles too. “Sorry about that. Are assistants so hard to find then? And you decided to hire **_me_**?”

“You mean because you looked like a beggar? Not really… I just saw… something in you.” He smiles.

Alec laughs again, mirthlessly. “Could you tell me what you saw so I could see it too?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting Aeriel's amazing song here again to make sure everyone sees~~  
> http://make-sterek-canon.tumblr.com/post/143293614682/this-is-the-first-time-i-write-and-sing-a  
> -Niennor


	12. A revelation

Before Magnus has time to answer, the phone rings and Alec jolts. “I'm sorry…” He says, and goes to pick it up. “Izzy? What is it? … Yes I am okay. …No… **_Nothing_** else happened… … Nothing at all!! …… Don’t worry… … Iz, I have to go.” He sighs. “Okay, I will tell him…” Pause. “NO!!! BYE!” He hangs up the phone abruptly and turns to face Magnus, his cheeks stained red once more. “I’m sorry about that… Should we go?”

He was looking at him through the whole conversation, finding it funny how his expression was changing second after second. When he hung up, Magnus was widely smiling. “Was that your sister…?”

“Yeah…” Alec sees his beautiful smile and is suddenly glad he can’t blush more. “She is a big fan of yours by the way… She told me to tell you she loves you.” He says chuckling.

“Nothing more…? You're as red as a tomato.” Magnus cannot help but to point out.

Alec bites his lip. “She was just worried…” He rolls his eyes. “Wouldn't let it go…” Then he remembers her last phrase. _"Tell him you love him too!!!!"_ shakes his head and lies. “The rest was some silly inside joke of hers… Long story.”

“Typical siblings.” Magnus smiles. “But that's great, that you two get along so well.”

“Yeah…” He smiles tenderly. “She's the best sister anyone could ask for…”

Stares at him enchanted. “I can see why she loves you so much…”

“What do you mean…?” Alec asks, suddenly confused.

“Well, that…” His bleeper sounds just then, interrupting him. Frowning, he grabs the little thing to check it out. “Oh God… I have a meeting in 10 minutes and we're running late…”

Alec’s eyes widen and he practically runs to the door. “I'm sorry! Let's go!!”

Magnus pets the cat one more time as a farewell and comes down the stairs two at a time, finally reaching the car and getting in.

Alec sits beside him on the car. “And to think **_I_** was supposed to know your schedule…”

“I hired you yesterday… and I was supposed to know as well but forgot about it… Meetings are so boring…” He says starting the engine and stepping on the gas.

His blue eyes widen momentary. “Uh… Magnus? Your life is more precious than the meeting, so try not to crash the car…”

“How **_precious_** is it…?” Magnus smiles playfully at the boy, slowing the car a bit.

 _‘Infinitely…’_ He thinks enchanted once more. “Hey, don't look at me while driving!!” He says instead, managing to avoid the question.

“Relax… I know what I'm doing.” He looks at him through the corner of his eye before directing them to the front.

Alec smiles a little. “If you say so…”

Magnus keeps driving, humming a song.

> _“And the angel tore off his wings, putting on a smile. He wanted nothing but to live freely. To love and sin, just like you and me… Just like you and me, demons with a human face.”_ *

The boy freezes, staring at him. “That song…. Where have I heard it before…?” He **_knows_** it's not on Magnus’ previous CDs.

“I sang it last night.” Magnus replies without hesitation.

Alec’s eyes widen and he stares at him terrified for what he did in his haze. “That… wasn't a dream? Oh my God, I'm so sorry…”

“No…” Magnus whispers. “But I'm glad my song helped to calm you down.”

“I'm really sorry… And thank you… You have a beautiful voice…” He adds, allowing himself to be honest for once. _‘Understatement…’_ He thinks. _‘Angelic would be more accurate…_ “But of course you know that already…” He adds embarrassed for stating the obvious.

“Don't thank me and yeah… I hear that a lot, but I **_love_** when pretty boys like you say it.” He winks at him before parking the vehicle. They were finally at the Studio.

Alec blushes again looking down. “I'm not pretty…”

“Do not contradict me, I know when a boy is pretty and you definitely are.” Winks at him again before stepping out of the car. “Just so you know, the meeting is about Raziel's video clip.”

He follows him blushing, not believing a word, and then freezes again. “Oh… What… what are you going to do now? Oh my God…” He drops his eyes ashamed as realisation dawns on him. “I… I destroyed everything, didn't I? I'm so sorry…”

“Just relax, I'll take care of it… Matt was no good anyway.”

“But… He really has angelical looks…” He says copying Magnus' words at the restaurant. “Even if he's rotten inside…”

Magnus laughs at that. “Whoa, low blow… Wish he had heard that.”

“I think I told him… Though I don't remember too well…” He drops his eyes again biting his lip.

“He got the memo then… Great.” Smirks. “Don't worry, I'll find someone else.”

Raises his eyes to look at him through his dark eyelashes. “I hope you will find someone good easily…”

“Well, I have someone in mind… but I'm not sure if he'd accept the offer.”

“Oh! I hope he will…”

“Yeah, me too… Though he's too timid…”

“Would he be good enough then?”

Magnus stops walking to look at him, directly in the eyes. “He'll do perfect.”

Alec does a double take, surprised when Magnus stares at him all of a sudden and only nods weakly, looking back at him. “Okay…”

Magnus smiles widely then. “Will you wait at the reception with Tessa…? Ple~ase?”

 _‘Please don't smile like that…’_ He begs in his head, his heart-rate quickening. “O-of course….”

“It's better if you aren't in the meeting because there'll be lots of shouting, people cursing other people, papers flying everywhere… It'll be like a battlefield.”

“I'm sorry…” He drops his eyes a bit again. “It's my fault you have to go through that…”

“I told you already, didn't I? Stop worrying, it'll be fine.”

“Okay…” He raises his head to look at him, smiling a little. “Good luck…”

“Not gonna need it but thank you.” Winks at him before getting in the elevator.

Immediately after, Tessa runs to him, visibly worried. "Alec!"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Here is the full original song "Raziel", by Aeriel!! ^_^  
> http://make-sterek-canon.tumblr.com/post/143293614682/this-is-the-first-time-i-write-and-sing-a


	13. Tessa’s plan for forgiveness

Alec was still staring after Magnus dazed, when Tessa's voice made him jump. He turned to face her. “Good morning…”

"Hey, what's gotten into you? And you two came together, too… Is there something I should know?" She's looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

He blushes at her words thinking. ‘ _If only…’_ and answers nervously, not knowing where to begin. “Uh… It's a long story?”

Tessa frowns. "Ah no, you're not hiding it from me. Tell. me. I deserve to know. You two had me worried sick last night! What the hell happened in that restaurant?"

He drops his eyes, fiddling with the bandage on his left hand. “I'm really sorry…” He whispers again. “I messed up…” He sighs. “Should we go sit down? I’ll tell you…”

"Yeah, of course" Tessa takes his injured hand with extremely delicacy and they sit down in the reception chairs. "Are you alright?"

Alec looks at her. “Yeah… The same cannot be said for Matt though…” He says making a disgusted face remembering the scumbag.

"Matt Greene? What happened to him? Oh, don't tell me. You… hit him?" She tries hard not to laugh.

He blushes, embarrassed looking down. “I'm sorry… I tried not to… I tried to be a professional as I promised… But…” He sighs. “Once you hang up, I stayed there a bit more trying to calm down… And then he appeared before me… And started talking…” He bites his lip balling his hands into fists in anger, remembering his words, wincing at the pain from his injured hand. Alec then looks in her eyes. “I tried, I swear I tried. But he… he…” He grits his teeth. “You should have heard him. Or actually, it's better you didn't…”

Tessa looks back, feeling the anger emerging little by little. "That bastard… Did you send him to the Hospital? Because I'd love to pay him a visit."

He grins at her, feeling a little better. “I know you would… Unfortunately not…” He bites his lip again, pausing. “I would have done so probably, but Magnus appeared then, and stopped me… Then I panicked and ran away…”

Tessa's eyes widen at that. "You left Magnus alone with the bastard after you hit him?!"

He stares back at her terrified, just realising. “Oh my God… I'm so stupid… I… I didn't think, I couldn't… After I realised what I did I was sure he wouldn't want to see me again so I ran. But he was safe, that monster was in no condition to harm him…”

Tessa sighs then, playing with the hem of her shirt. "That's not what I meant… He had to take care of Matt by himself since you left him… How wrong is that?"

He stares at her wide eyed for a moment and then drops his head in his hands. “Oh God I'm so stupid… I'm so sorry…”

Her expression turns into a guilty one as she sighs again. "No, I think I get it… You had enough, it's understandable. Also, you're younger than Magnus and he's way more experienced… I can't really blame you.”

“No, you were right… I only thought of myself, I was awful… I need to apologise to him… Again.”

She nods a bit. "So… how come you came together? If you left him in the restaurant last night…"

“I…” He looks at her confused. “Now that you're talking about it… He came after me… But how did he know where to find me? I forgot to ask him…” He looks at his hand again, smiling softly at the memory of Magnus’ touch. “And then we went to his house, he said he wanted to talk…”

"Well, I… gave him your parents' address. I'm sorry about that but to think he'd go after you… I didn't know he was going to use that information for that purpose."

“Oooh… That explains it… Don't worry, I don't mind…”

"Wait…" Her eyes widen with realization. "Did you just say that you went to his house or am I going deaf?"

“Yeah…” He mutters, not understanding why she's reacting like that. “He wanted to bandage up my hand and talk…”

Tessa raises an eyebrow, almost grinning. "Right… Did you have fun?"

He cocks his head to the side looking at her confused. “Fun?? Well, I apologised to him about a dozen times, and he told me to try and act like an adult next time, even though he said he didn’t mind I punched Matt… However, I'm still confused as to why he didn't fire me…He said he needs me…? But that doesn't make sense…” Alec mutters the last phrase mostly to himself.

"Oh, you guys are so boring…" Shakes her head, then stares at Alec with surprise. "He told you that he needs you? Mmm… Interesting…"

He raises an eyebrow at her not getting why they're boring. “‘Weird’ is the word I'd use… Since I've been nothing but trouble for him since we met… And now, because of me…” He bites his lip again staring down, looking terribly guilty.

"He'll be fine, he's a tough guy!" Tessa tries to cheer him up.

“Yeah…” He thinks of all those who have hurt Magnus in the past and clenches his fists. “I know he is…” He says lowly.

"I know what you're thinking… Matt was one of his worst relationships but not the worse if you know what I mean…"

Alec sighs and whispers. “I wish he will find someone who would never hurt him…” _‘I wish I could be that one…’_ He thinks wistfully.

"Actually…I think he found that person" Tessa smiles at him, patting his shoulder. "Thanks for being there for him."

> ** *OBLIVIOUS TO NO END* **

“Oh… he did? I'm glad…” _‘As long as he's happy…’_ “ No need to thank **_me_** , I didn't do anything…”

“Yeah…" She looks at him like he's crazy or just dumb. "So, did you meet Chairman Meow?"

Wonders briefly what's wrong, but then smiles, forgetting about it as he grins at her. “Yeah!! He was so cute!!! Such a sweetheart…”

"He's a cutie like his owner, don't you agree?"

“Yeah…” He laughs, answering without thinking, and then realises what he said and he blushes, his eyes widening. “No, I mean…”

She giggles, patting his shoulder again. "It's okay! I won't tell anything. But oh… you're **_so_** head over heels for him"

Alec blushes crimson, looking at her wide eyed and lies. “I'm **_not_**!!!”

"I bet you didn't finish your acting career~" Tessa mocks him.

“Hey!! Was that a jab at my acting???” He says, fake-angry.

"You got me, so you aren't actually dumb…" Tessa smirks.

He can't help but laugh at that. “I'm not? Thank you very much!”

She laughs too. "Don't blame me for testing you, baby boy. You were giving me some vibes here…"

“What vibes?” He asks curiously.

She looks at him puzzled. "That or you really are a lost cause…"

He doesn't even register what she means, since for him the thought that Magnus may want him is impossible. He just laughs. “ ‘Lost cause’ sounds a lot like me.” He tells her joking, though he really means it.

Tessa shakes her head. "Doesn't matter… What are you going to do now?"

He looks at her nervously. “What do you mean?”

"I mean, he got in trouble because of you… Then, shouldn't you be doing something for him?"

Alec drops his eyes again looking terribly guilty. What can I do?

"Maybe… invite him to a dinner?" She looks so hopeful it's almost funny.

He looks up at her surprised. “ _What_? How would **_that_** solve anything?”

"It's a dinner! People like food, men **_love_** food!"

He chuckles softly at that. “Is that so? But still Tessa… How does wasting more of his time solve anything? He can have dinner **_anytime_** with **_anyone_** he wants…   _‘Anyone better than me…’_ He thinks sadly.

Tessa rolls her eyes at that, almost feeling the impulse to slap the boy. "Just **_ask_** him out, Alec. You owe him after all."

His eyes widen and he looks at her terrified. “W-w-what??? H-how, w-why, I can't do that!” His heartbeat and breathing quicken just thinking about that. “Impossible…” He breaths, nervous to death.

“Relax, Alec! I didn't mean it to sound like a… date. Just you inviting him to a dinner to apologize and thank him"

“And what good would that do if it doesn't come out of him? Are you trying to set us up, Tessa?” Magnus makes his appearance then, arms crossed and glaring at the girl.


	14. Stop thinking and live

"I- Sor-" Tessa begins saying pale like a ghost, but the man raises a hand to stop her from keep talking.

“I don't care what your excuses are, I just don't want you to intrude in my life… or Alec's that way. We are adults so we can make our own decisions. **_Now_** , Alec, come with me. We need to sort something out this instant."

Alec’s face is impossibly red and he feels faint at his words and at seeing him so angry. “O-kay…” He mumbles stuttering nervously, moving to follow him, dropping his eyes unable to face him too scared and nervous to look at him.

Bringing him aside, Magnus says a bit harshly. “You will be the new model for Raziel's videoclip since you "owe me" as Tessa **_so nicely_** put it. Either you are in or you are… out.” He couldn't say ‘fired’ but it definitely sounded that way. He hated being deceived.

He looks up at him shocked and hurt by his tone, his blue eyes wide. _'Things were going so well…'_ He thinks recalling this morning and then realises what Magnus told him, also almost implying that he'll send him away. _'Please don't…'_ He swallows nervously, his throat dry suddenly and tells him, looking at him scared. “B-but I'm no model… I… How could I?”

“But you're an actor, right? You studied for that… Just act for me in that video clip, that's all I'm asking.”

 _' **Act** … Of course it's that simple to say… It means nothing to **him**.'_ He thinks sadly, wondering how he could have thought any different for even a moment. He turns his eyes on him but can't bear to face him and drops them again. “I… I'm not good enough… This is… too important…” He falls silent fearing Magnus is going to tell him to leave.

Magnus understands what he tries to say, of course he does. But he wants **_him_** to take that part since the first time he laid his eyes on him. So beautiful… like an Angel, just like his Raziel.

“Look, it has to be you.” He says at last. “And, one more thing, don't go talking behind my back again with Tessa or whoever about taking me to dinner just because they tell you to. I hate when people try to fool me. I'm no fool, pretty boy. I'm not taking anybody's shit. Never again.”

He looks up at him surprised at his words. _‘Why? Why me? I’m plain, there’s nothing special about-’_ His thoughts are interrupted though by Magnus’ next words of accusation and his own words escape him before he can stop himself. “ ** _What_** ** _?!?_** ” He blushes, at the compliment, but is too upset by everything else Magnus said, so he almost snaps at him forgetting all his nervousness and fear momentary.

“First of all, I’m not pretty. Second. How **_dare_** you???” He says, his voice a furious whisper. “We weren’t talking behind your back! Tessa cares about you very much and meant no harm in telling me that! She didn’t mean it that way! And even so, I wouldn’t do it just because I was told to! Third… I would **_never_** deceive you! Are you implying, I’m like **_him_**? I’m nothing like that piece of…” He grits his teeth and balls his hands into fists, angry that Magnus thought that; that he would imply he wanted to fool him like that asshole Matt did. It was so **_unfair_**. If only he knew how much he loved him…

And then Alec realises he actually **_snapped_** at **_Magnus_** and all his previous demeanor evaporates. _‘It’s over…’_ “And finally…” He whispers defeated, dropping his eyes once more. “I am really sorry for talking to you like that… I overstepped my boundaries again. I… understand you will want me to disappear now… Goodbye…” He adds, and raises his eyes on him wishing to look at him one last time before going, then slowly turns around to leave, cursing himself for messing up everything.

He actually looks amused by Alec's outburst. Magnus didn't think he’d have the nerve to snap at him but the boy did and he can't help but smile. “Okay, let's say Tessa cares… What about you? Do you care about me? Enough to invite me out without someone asking you to? For forgiveness, gratitude… or something else?”

He turns back to look at him again, surprised by his soft tone, and even more surprised to see him smiling. Magnus’ next words however, make him blush and stutter, not knowing what to say. “W-what??”

Simply shrugs, still smiling. “So, if you **_really_** want to invite me **_that_** much… I'm free this Friday. 8pm. I'll pick you up. Get dressed accordingly.”

Alec stares at him with wide eyes wondering if he heard right. _'Am I dreaming? This has to be a mistake, he can't mean…'_ “W-what?” Is all he can manage to repeat. “W-why would you want to…?”

Raising the index finger of his left hand, he makes Alec stop talking. “You want to take me out, I concede. That is all.”

He freezes, staring at him dumbfounded and mesmerised, his heart racing. _'What just happenned?'_

“Unless… you don't actually want to?” Magnus asks slowly, looking deeply into his eyes, not even blinking.

Alec almost misses his words, too entranced by his beautiful eyes staring at him like that, and he forgets to even breathe. “I…” _‘My God, I love you so much…’_ He manages to hold back his true thoughts, and stutters. “I- I don't mind… I mean, I want to, I mean… why? I don't… understand…” Magnus is still staring at him and Alec can barely form a sentence, looking into his emerald gold eyes, forgetting where they are, unable to think of anything but him…

Magnus can't hide the big smile that appears suddenly on his face. “Stop thinking, pretty boy, and **_live_**. That's so much easier… Don't you agree?”

“I…” Still mesmerised by him, and pretty sure by now he's dreaming, he mutters lowly. “How do I do that…?”

“How do you do what, darling…?” Looks down at his mouth then into his eyes again.

Being so close to him, and having him stare at him like that, he feels faint and leans slightly on the wall behind him for support. “How… do I… stop thinking, and live…?” He whispers.

 _‘_ _How do I stop myself from kissing you?’_ Magnus thinks to himself before answering. “Easy. Simply say yes.”

Alec swallows nervously, his eyes never leaving Magnus' and nods, saying in a hushed voice. “Yes.”


	15. Questions

Smirking, Magnus leans on him whispering. “Okay then, Alexander… Now, give me your phone. To text and whatnot.”

His breath catches once more, and his heart almost stops too. Vaguely he wonders how he still hasn't collapsed as his feet seem to barely hold him. “O-okay…” He manages to piece out, then absently, he takes his phone out and gives it to Magnus, his mind still overwhelmed by his presence. “Here…”

Magnus raises both eyebrows at that, confused. “What are you doing?”

Magnus' confused looks forces him a bit back to reality. “Giving you my phone? Didn't you just told me to?” He asks back.

He almost laughs, then types on Alec's phone. “I was asking you for your phone **_number_** but… here, now you have mine.” Gives the phone back.

Blushes impossibly red and reaches out to take the phone, their fingers brushing as he does, sending a jolt through him. He hastily drops his eyes embarrassed. “I'm sorry…”

“Why? That makes you more interesting… and adorable.” He smiles all teeth.

Alec looks at him in disbelief blushing even more, loving his beautiful smile. “I'm none of these things…” He mutters.

Sighs, tearing his eyes off him. “Whatever you say, darling… Let's go.”

Seeing him sighing like that, he looks at him nervously, afraid he annoyed him again. “Go… where?” He asks already following him.

“To a photo shoot for Raziel's promotion.” Magnus says simply, putting himself in motion. “Since Matt isn't… available for the work, you'll replace him as the angel. I will be the warrior.”

 _' **You** should be the Angel…'_ He thinks but then Magnus' words to Matt about sexy scenes come back to him and he blushes once more. “B-but I'm no good… And, and you said you had someone in mind already for it…” He adds remembering.

“I'm gonna be honest, Alec… It's been you all along.”

Freezes in his tracks momentary recalling their conversation, and how Magnus said he'd be perfect for the role. “Me…?”

He turns around, nodding. “As I said before, you have the looks and that… innocent aura surrounding you.”

“I…” Not knowing what to say he keeps staring for a bit, before finally muttering. “Are you sure…? I'm really not…”

“Please, spare me having to explain it again.”

“Okay… I'm sorry.” He looks down and stops talking, not wanting to annoy him, though he still doesn't get it.

“Alright then. Are we done here?”

“Yeah…” He whispers defeated wishing he could ask him more. Distracted, he has forgotten about the "sexy scenes" for now.

“We're going in my car. So, if you want to ask something about the photo shoot or even the video clip, you can do it there.”

“Ok…” Alec repeats following him. “But am I okay like that? The clothes?” It still seems surreal that he will actually do this.

“Oh, don't worry about that.” Magnus dismisses him with a hand. “They'll give you clothes to change into for the pics.”

“Oh… okay… I'm really sorry for the trouble…” He tells him, meaning hitting Matt. “But…”

“But? Go on.” He makes a gesture with a hand.

Alec blushes again. “This is too sudden… and…” He trails off sighing softly.

“Yeah, well… There's no more time. If you don't want to do it, just say it now before it's too late.”

“I…” _'I do, of course I do, it's just that… how will I function so close to you?'_ He thinks and shakes his head. “No. I'm sorry. I caused you enough trouble already. I'll do it. I just hope I won't disappoint you again…”

“You won't. Stop thinking like that, I'm serious. You'll do great. After all… you got me.” He grins at him.

“Okay… thank you.” Alec can't help but smile back at him even though he's still uneasy.

Magnus raises an eyebrow. “Right… SO, what's the address for the photo shoot? It's on the portfolio I gave you the other day.”

His eyes widen at that. “Oh. Uhm… uh… when do we have to be there?” He asks nervously and stops walking.

He turns around once again, checking the time. “Let me see… In about an hour? Why…? **_Oh._** ” He shakes his head then, trying really hard not to snort. “You forgot the portfolio. We~ll, that's not good. What an incompetent assistant I have.” Magnus teases him.

Blushes brightly dropping his head, his eyes still on him. “I'm sorry…”

“Oh my God, learn to catch a joke while you're at it! Living, I mean.” Rolls his eyes. “Come on, I think Tessa has a copy. I'll call her on our way to the photo shoot.”

 _'God, he's so **hot** when he does that…'_ The boy thinks when Magnus rolls his eyes. “Oh… okay… sorry.” He pouts.

He chuckles, reaching the car and getting in, then calling Tessa right away.

"Hello, this is Tessa from Bane Records."

“Tessa, it's me. I need the address for the photo shoot I have today.”

"Right. On it" She gives Magnus the address and he puts it on the GPS after thanking her and hanging up the call.

“Okay then, do you have any questions?” He asks Alec a bit later.

“Was Tessa okay?” Alec asks getting into the car.

Magnus is silent for a moment, then asks again. “Questions related to the photo shoot?”

“Were you going to fire me if I didn't accept to do it?” Pause. “Does that count as related?”

The older man sighs, tightening his grip on the wheel. “No, I wasn't going to fire you. I never intended to.”

“Oh…” He feels guilty for upsetting him and looks down at his hands, messing with the hem of his shirt nervously. “I… uh… So… what do **_I_** have to do?”

“Just be pretty and smile.” Magnus smirks, giving a turn to the left. “Nah, you just need to follow the photographer directions.”

“Sounds too hard already.” He says with a half smile, his mood lifted seeing that Magnus seems okay now.

“You'll do fine.” He pats his thigh, changing gears right afterwards.

His heart skips a beat at his sudden touch. “If… if you say so…”


	16. Raziel photoshoot

Alec watches him drive for a bit and then asks again. “Is there anything I should know?”

“Like what…?” Magnus asks distracted.

He shrugs. “I don't know… I'm really clueless about stuff like that…”

“Are you talking about the video clip now…? You know what the song is about, right?”

“What else? You said only related questions…” Of course he does, having seen Magnus’ past interviews but he's not supposed to, he so lies. "Uh… not really, sorry…"

“An angel and a warrior falling in love, fighting together to protect said love… There are some **_scenes_** that we'll have to record several times, I'm afraid, since you are inexperienced in that matter.”

Alec blushes thinking he will have to act in love with him and hopes no one will see through him. “Oh… I see. I'm really sorry for the trouble…”

“Trouble? No one is saying that. I find it funny… I can't wait to start.” Magnus gives him a lopsided smile before parking the car.

“Glad you're having fun.” He pouts half-heartedly, unable to sulk properly when Magnus is smiling like that.

“Stop pouting or you'll regret it… Or maybe not.” He smiles dangerously close to him before stepping out of the car.

His eyes widen and his heart races once more when Magnus gets so close to him. Before he can ask what he means, he is gone, leaving Alec staring after him. He shakes his head to clear it and hastily gets out too, to follow him.

“Come on, pretty boy. We have some heated photos to take~”

“I'm not pretty…” He mutters stubbornly under his breath and blushes following him, _‘Maybe that wasn't such a good idea after all. I might die…’_

After grabbing the clothes he has to change into (Magnus guesses Alec is on the same boat on that), he gets dressed and goes to find Alec.

Too nervous for words, Alec follows him inside where he is given cloths to change to. He changes in them and gets out of the room.

Magnus smiles looking at him, dressed as a sinner angel. Pure and extremely beautiful in a white armor. “Hey there, Raziel~”

He is left staring once more at Magnus who is too gorgeous, dressed as the Warrior. “Hey…”

“What do you think?” Turns around and back to let him see the whole ‘package’. “Do you like it?”

Looks at him in awe and then clears his throat trying not to sound too smitten. “Um yeah… It's really nice, the artistic department did a great job. Am I any good?” He frowns raising a hand, looking at his sleeves. (He still hasn't seen a mirror.)

He smiles, taking a good look. “Perfect.” _‘My perfect angel’_ He thinks to himself. “We're ready then…” Suddenly grabs his hand. The photographer was waiting for them.

Alec blushes at his words, thinking _‘It doesn't mean anything, it can't-’_ and then Magnus takes his hand leading him away and he swoons once more. _‘I can't do that… He's too…’_

The man, in his thirties, only wants sexy photos. Like, photos of Magnus and Alec really close, embracing each other and even almost kissing. Magnus isn't sure if Alec can handle it so he starts for the basics, trying to guide him the best he can. Making him look into his eyes the entire time seems to be working so far.

He begins to panic when the photographer tells them to move closer and embrace and almost kiss but Magnus comes to his rescue, and gives him soft spoken instructions of what to do in every scene. His heart is still racing though, and he tries to separate his mind from body and not feel Magnus' touch. (Mostly in vain, but it works a little so he won't actually lose his mind from the proximity.) Remembering Tessa's words also helps… Magnus is an actor too. This means nothing to him…

Soon, the photo shoot is done with the photographer calling it a wrap. Magnus thanks him and smiles at Alec. “Are you okay? Do you need something? A towel, a water bottle…? I must admit, Alexander, that you did a fantastic job, I'm very proud of you.”

 _‘_ _I **need** to **kiss** you…’_ He thinks unable to stop himself, still looking up at Magnus. _‘This means nothing.’_ He repeats and shakes his head, smiling back at him glad he didn't disappoint him, and extremely happy to hear he is proud of him. “Thank you!” He says before dropping his eyes blushing. “I did nothing though… It was all thanks to you…”

Magnus chuckles a bit. “I just gave you some instructions, instructions that you very diligently followed. I expected you to be way more nervous and impossible to work with but that wasn't the case so now **_I_** owe you one.”

He looks up at him and chuckles softly too. “Thanks for believing in me so much! Not that you were wrong not to… I'm surprised myself I didn't mess up… I **_was_** very nervous but you helped me more than you know.” He says, thinking of Magnus' soothing voice. _‘I should have known not to worry. He may be the one making me nervous, but his voice had always calmed me down.’_ “So really… I'm the one owing you…” He blushes again looking away. “Of course **_you_** owe me nothing… If it wasn't for me in the first place, your plans with Matt wouldn't have been ruined.” _‘Though I'm **so** happy they were…’_ He thinks, hating the idea of that scum touching Magnus ever again or being anywhere near him, let alone **_that_** close.

“I wasn't really going to add Matt into the equation, you know?” He says, once Alec looks more relaxed and content after all the tension he had to go through with the pics. “I'm sure Tessa told you what was going on between the two of us that night with the dinner and everything, what I was about to do and why… Please correct me if I'm in anyway wrong.”

“I meant the plans for the video…” Blushes remembering that Magnus himself told him he intended to sleep with Matt. “Tessa didn't tell me… **_you_** did… She only told me you probably wanted revenge and asked me to stop you before you hurt yourself…” Drops his eyes. “I **_told_** you she really cares about you.” _‘And she's not the only one…’_ He thinks.

“Is that the only reason for which you stepped in? Because of Tessa?” Magnus nips at his lower lip for a second. “Sounds like her… I guess I should talk to her once we're done here.”

He blushes even more but decides to tell him the truth. Or at least half of it. “No. I stepped in because I couldn't bear listening to him talk like that for you any longer…” He says in a low voice not meeting his eyes.

“That's…” He's surprisingly speechless, not expecting at all being told such thing. “I- Thanks, that… means a lot.”

He blushes even more, not expecting to be thanked by Magnus. “No need to thank me…” He fidgets with the hem of his white shirt. “I only caused you trouble in the end… Even if he's rotten to the core, he's prettier and better at this job than me…”

“Pretty… sure.” He dismisses him with a hand -he does that a lot lately-, “Not prettier though. There are men way more pretty than him.” _‘For example, you.’_ Magnus thinks to himself, smiling internally. “And it was no problem, Alec, I already told you. It's better this way.”

He looks up at him timidly. “If you say so… I hope it will turn out good in the end…”

“Don't be pessimistic, it will.” Magnus winks at him. “Besides, Adam will send me example pics of the photo shoot tomorrow.”

 _‘Of course it will be… You are in it…’_ He thinks lovingly. “Oh. Ok then. Uh… so now what do we do? Should we go change?”

“Of course, then we go grab some food. I'm starving.” Magnus wiggles his eyebrows.

Alec blushes once more at his antiques, staring at him. “Oh… ok. I… Let's go then.” He hastily leaves to go change, practically running away from him before he succumbs to temptation and does something he shouldn't.

Magnus chuckles, looking at his retreating back, and goes to change as well.


	17. Jealousy

Alec changes into his normal clothes and hurries back out not wishing to keep him waiting. Magnus isn't there yet so he hangs around absently waiting for him, daydreaming, when he hears a cheerful voice behind him.

"Hello~!"

He turns and sees a girl smiling brightly at him. “Hi?”

"You're Alexander right???" She asks looking at him enchanted, though he doesn't notice.

“Just Alec.” He frowns, hating to be called by his full name.

"So, Alec…" She leans closer, touching his arm. "Are you new here?"

“Uh… Yeah, I guess…?”

"I thought so! I'm sure I'd remember a face like yours." She purrs, as he looks at her confused not understanding what's wrong with his face.

The moment he looks for Alec after changing into his own -and way more fashionable- clothes and finds him talking with a girl he sees red. It's not Alec though but the girl, touching his arm and smiling like an idiot. He jumps in straight away, tearing him apart from her grasp. “Alexander, **_darling_** , I was looking for you… Where were you?” Magnus pouts a bit, expecting it to work and make the girl go away.

Suddenly Magnus appears out of nowhere pulling him away from the girl, saying he was looking for him, and calling him both "Darling" and "Alexander" while also pouting adorably, making him reel. “Magnus?” He calls, looking up at him dazed, thinking how much he loves to hear **_him_** call his full name.

Before Magnus can say anything else, the girl looks at him, and her eyes widen in recognition. "Oh my God! Magnus Bane?" She stares at him in awe, her eyes almost turning to hearts. “Oh my… You are even more gorgeous up close…” She says looking at him mesmerised while Alec pouts at her flirting with him, suddenly very jealous.

Magnus can't really see if Alec is pouting because her attention is now on him or what but he cannot let down a fan so he fakes a smile in her direction. “Why thank you, that's so kind of you…”

She visibly swoons at Magnus' smile aimed at her and Alec pouts even more, before freezing in shock when she smiles widely and raises her shirt. “Can I have an autograph?”

Magnus almost chokes on his own spit, even when that wasn't the first time a fan acted that way with him. “Eh… Can't you please put down your shirt? If you want my autograph, that is.” He would like to tell her a thing or two but decides to be nice instead.

"Buuuut I want you to sign **_on_** me!"

She says and Alec rolls his eyes sighing exasperated getting over the shock. _‘Enough is **enough**.’_ He thinks and takes a step towards Magnus, touching his arm lightly, surprising even himself by his own boldness. “Don’t we have to go? I thought you were **_starving_**.” He mimics the man’s earlier tone.

His attention is entirely on Alec once he feels the touch, craving for more. “Yeah… Right.” He smiles at him, then turns to look at the girl. “Sorry, sweetie~ It's been nice meeting you but I have to go.”

Smiling back at him, Alec swoons inwardly and starts walking, while the girl pouts disappointed.

Once they're out of the girl's range, Magnus sighs deeply. “The lunch is on me for saving my innocent self.”

The boy can't help but laugh aloud at his comment, all the day's tension and the jealousy leaving him. “As you wish.”

Magnus looks at him pleased by his laughter but fakes being offended. “Did you just laugh at me?? I can't believe it!”

Alec sobers up immediately, his eyes widening realising he dropped his guard again and acted on impulse. “I'm sorry! I didn't mean to…” He trails off.

“Drop the act with me, Alexander. I know you're funny deep down~” He pats him on the shoulder walking away.

“Of course I'm not.” He mutters pouting realising he's messing with him, then runs after him, still feeling his touch even over the clothes. “Hey, don't leave me behind!”

“Your legs are longer, honey… You could bypass me anytime.”

_'Honey?'_ His heart is racing again as he looks at him. He regains his composure and pouts. “That's not the point.”

“What's the point then, babe~?” Magnus asks, enjoying how flustered Alec gets every time he calls him things.

The boy blushes at the more intimate name, forgetting what they were talking about. “W-why do you keep calling me that stuff? I **_have_** a name you know…” He asks even though he doesn't really mind. But it's kinda upsetting to hear all those endearments, knowing he means nothing to Magnus…

“Ah, just looking for the perfect pet name for you, my dear, sweetpea, mio caro. Hum… How about _‘my angel’_? Sounds about right. After all, you're my Raziel.” He then winks at him before entering the car.

Alec freezes staring at him wide eyed and blushing, his heart leaping in his chest. _‘Pet name? Angel?_ ** _My_** _Raziel?’_ His mind has overloaded and he reaches out absently to enter the car, still feeling lost. He sits beside him and turns to look at him. “I'm no Angel…” He whispers in soft protest, still affected by his words. “What does 'Mio caro' mean?”

“It means ‘My dear’ in Italian. I **_love_** Italian but I prefer my mother tongue. It sounds really sweet.” Magnus answers him while checking his make up on the mirror.

He stares at him hypnotised and mutters without realising he isn't supposed to know. “Indonesian?”

Magnus turns his head to look at him, surprised by the fact that Alec knows that he's part Indonesian. “Yeah. How do you…? Normally people get it wrong. Wow, you're a box full of surprises, Alexander, and I like it.” He smiles content.

_‘Fuck.’_ He thinks realising he messed up but once he hears his last words and sees his smile he finds himself too happy to care. “What do you mean they get it wrong?” He asks to divert Magnus' focus and maybe salvage a bit of his façade.

“We~ll, let's just say that there's waaay more ignorant people than smart ones in this world. He shrugs, driving.

Alec chuckles softly. “That's mean.”

Magnus smirks. “ ** _They_** are meaner.”

He smiles but then it occurs to him and he asks worried. “Did someone say something bad to you?”

“Why does that seem to worry you? I am perfectly capable of defending myself. Experienced adult and all that.” He winks at him.

Alec blushes at the wink and the implication of the "experienced adult" comment and stutters, lying. “I… it doesn't… I know you are. I-I mean, can!”

Magnus chuckles, but before he can make fun of the boy a bit more, he sees the restaurant he wanted to try and parks the car close to it. “O~kay, we're here.”


	18. Dinner “date”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To both Stella0 and Pri_Chan1410 :  
> More jealousy is imminent~ ^^ Though you may not love /that/ so much! XD

Alec looks up and sees an expensive looking restaurant and the gravity of the situation really descends on him as this actually _looks_ like a date. _‘But of course it's not.’_ He chastises himself. _‘As if he'd ever even look at someone like me…’_ He sighs softly nodding and undoing the seatbelt to show he heard him.

The anguished look on Alec's face is enough to drop Magnus' mood to the ground, making him sigh and stop Alec in his tracks. “Be honest with me, Alexander. Do you not want to be seen with me…? Because I'd understand it. I mean, I know I'm… **_really_** intense sometimes and extravagant. If people see us together they could think **_things_** about you or think we're together **_together_** …” He says quietly. “If you're worried because of that we could just leave. I won't be mad.”

Alec turns to look at him surprised. “What? No! Of course not! What are you talking about?” _‘Being with you is a dream come true…’_ “There are people who would kill to even be able to talk to you like that.” _‘And I am one of them…’_ “It's you who should be worried about being seen with someone like me. Though…” He forces a smile. “I doubt that anyone would believe you’d sink so low on your dating choices.”

Magnus arches an eyebrow in disbelief. “Whatever you say, my angel… Once people see you in those pics, they'll change their minds right away though.”

Alec blushes crimson, his heart racing at the endearment _‘ **My angel…** If only…’_ he thinks. “W-whatever you say.” He stutters not believing it, but unable to think of a witty remark, his mind stuck on Magnus' words.

“Yeah, that's what I said. Good to know you pay enough attention to me.” He grins stepping out of the car at last.

He pouts still blushing, and mutters following him outside. “Mocking me again…”

**~o~**

The moment they enter the restaurant, all heads turn around to look at them. Magnus is used to it but he knows that Alec isn't so he grabs him by the arm to pull him close and guide him to a table, slightly near the front door. “You okay?” He asks a bit worried.

He's so shocked when Magnus grabs his arm and pulls him close to him, that he almost forgets to breathe, his heart racing in his chest. Magnus leads him to a table and then surprises Alec again by asking if he's okay, looking concerned. “Why do you worry about me?” He wonders aloud accidentally, not understanding.

“Why wouldn't I? You're my precious assistant, soon to be my partner in crime for my new videoclip~” Magnus replies with humor.

Alec chuckles at that. “If you say so… I… I'm okay, thank you.” He finally answers properly.

“I looove hearing you laugh.” Magnus smiles playfully, then looks down at his menu. “Hum… What would you like to drink, wine, water, juice? A beer maybe? You can order whatever you want.”

“I will try to do it more often then…” He smiles, happy for Magnus' words, though still confused. “Oh… I don't know… whatever you want…”

He shakes his head, staring straight at him. “This is not going to work. I'm ordering wine for myself and you're ordering your own thing because I'm pretty sure you're not a wine guy.”

“Water will do…” He mutters pouting. “Don't be mad…”

“I'm not, I just happen to like guys **_and_** girls, whatever, that know how to make their own decisions.” Magnus shrugs.

Alec pouts more. “I said water will do…” And then he adds lower, looking down. “I never thought you'd like me anyway…”

“I wouldn't mind an apology now then.” He says after ordering their drinks.

The boy looks at him confused. “What do you mean?”

“For doubting my tastes, of course.”

“What?”

Magnus sighs, smiling anyway and leaning his way. “Just say after me. ‘I'm sorry’.”

He stares at Magnus mesmerised as he comes closer, exercising major self control to not lean his way too, and whispers unable to disobey him. “I'm sorry…”

“Good boy…” He mutters, leaning back on his chair.

Alec blushes again at his words still not understanding what he's apologising for, but since Magnus doesn't seem upset he doesn't mind. He's about to say something, when the waitress arrives with their drinks.

Magnus takes the glass not sparing a single glance at the woman, then sips and sighs content. “Ah… That's life. So good…”

He chuckles softly, content to see him happy, and smiles asking. “Long day?”

“Oh God, yeah… I needed a break.” Magnus groans in response.

“Is your life always so hectic?” Alec asks looking at him worried, wishing he could massage his shoulders to take the tension off. He looks really tired.

“No…” Magnus makes a calculated pause. “It is worse.” He smirks. “But I like it. I don't have any complaints, except for some people I have the disgrace to know inside the music industry.”

He frowns. “Sounds tough… I…” Just then his phone rings cutting him off and he jumps, thanking God it was Jace for whom he had set a ringtone that is not one of Magnus' songs. Flustered at almost getting discovered he mutters “I'm sorry…” to Magnus and picks it up. “Jace? What's up?” He says wishing to get it over with and resume his talk with his beloved.

Somehow Magnus thought he'd had one of his songs as his ringtone so it disappointed him when it wasn't the case. Sighing internally, and passing a finger around the rim of the glass, he carefully listened to the conversation, though he could only hear Alec. However, "Jace" was a boy's name.

Jace was telling him he wanted him to come over to help him with something and Alec was about to roll his eyes and hang up on him, when he heard Izzy from the background, shouting at Jace to hang up, because Alec was probably with Magnus, since he was working for him now. He chuckled at how spot on she was as always and smiled lovingly, hearing them bicker about it.

He is curious as to why Alec is smiling that way talking to that… Jace guy. Brother again? Nah, not possible. Just friends? But that smile… Sighing -this time aloud-, he takes the rest of his wine and pours some more on the glass. Unfortunately, he can't get drunk since he has to drive them back to the studio but he's **_so_** in the mood to get wasted…


	19. Reasons to be jealous

Even though Alec is listening to the phone his eyes are on Magnus and he notices him sighing and pouring some more wine. He frowns taking a look around the restaurant, wondering if something happened that he missed and tells Jace. “I have to go. I'll call you later.” He hangs up ignoring his brother's protests and puts the phone on silent. “Hey…” He tells Magnus softly, leaning a little towards him. “Are you alright?”

Though seeing Alec that close is distracting, Magnus is kind of tired of the situation so he just avoids his gaze dropping it to the menu and shrugs. “Yeah, I'm fantastic. Feeling gre~at.” With a hand gesture, a waitress comes their way asking about their orders. “I want Uni. And my **_friend_** here can have whatever he feels like eating. Thanks.” Magnus says, holding out the menu for her to take.

Seeing Magnus avoid him like that when he is obviously not okay, and sounding cold suddenly hurts more than he expected especially since Magnus had been so nice and playful with him until then. And then the waitress comes, and Magnus calls him his **_friend_** in a way erasing every other implication, and this hurts even more if possible. ‘ _Serves me right for getting my hopes up…’_ He thinks, feeling his heart sink, wondering what he did wrong, because that must **_obviously_** be his fault. _‘I always mess up everything…’_ His hands tremble slightly and he tries to hide it as he checks him menu and orders the first and cheapest thing he can see on it, not really caring what it is, just checking if it’s edible, not really feeling like eating anymore. Wishing he had some alcohol, he drops his hands under the table and his eyes on the floor, wishing he could do **_something_** to make Magnus feel better. “I’m sorry…” He chokes out, not daring to meet his eyes, afraid of the indifference he might see in them.

“I-…” Magnus closes his eyes for a second, bracing himself. “Listen… I don't know what I did now but it's pretty clear that it's making you feel miserable and I'm… sorry for that.” He sips from his glass not daring to look at him. “You can leave if you want. I'll pay you a taxi so you can go back to that… **_Jace_** guy.” He can't help but make a face while mentioning him.

Alec looks at him surprised. “Jace??? Why would I want to see him? I saw him yesterday when borrowing the suit, I’ve had enough of him for a week.” He pauses and adds sobering up. “Please don’t apologise… Everything is my fault after all… I’m the one who did something to ruin your mood suddenly and I don’t even know what it was… I…” He drops his eyes again anguished. “If you want me to leave I will…”

“You **_did_** mention something like that yesterday…” He frowns, thinking about what he said about the guy. That is when Magnus recalls Alec calling him his brother. Sighing again, he raises both hands in surrender. “I'm sorry, I'm such a fool… I beg your pardon. You don't have to leave if you don't want to.”

“What? Magnus, I'm confused… What was wrong? Why are you supposedly a fool? And…” He blushes staring at the table. “I don't want to leave… if you don't want me gone…”

“Of course not, I do enjoy your company…” He mutters staring at his glass. “I was just… jealous.”

Alec stares at him in awe once more, getting a chance to admire him now that he's not looking. _‘He enjoys my company?’_ His heart flutters with joy, all previous anguish forgotten. “Jealous? Why would **_you_** be jealous?” He asks unable to comprehend how could the epitome of perfection be jealous of anything or anyone.

 _‘_ _Maybe because I like you.’_ Magnus thinks to himself. “Why is the sky blue?” He answers instead. “I'm sure there is a scientific explanation but no one cares, right? The sky is blue and it's beautiful. People just… love it.”

“I'm confused again…” Alec admits not understanding what the sky has to do with anything. “But…” He blushes looking away. “What I’m sure of is… you are way too beautiful to be jealous of anything…”

His heart skips a beat at his words, sending him the urge to get up from the chair and kiss the boy senseless. But he has self-control (self-preservation too knowing that Alec is like Bruce Lee's lost child or something and that he could kick his ass without batting an eye) so he simply says. “I'm jealous of many things, darling…”

“Oh…” He blushes more. _‘Back to the endearments again…’_ he thinks, embarrassed, but very happy. That **_friend_** thing had really hurt. “Okay then…” He says at a loss for words.

“You won't ask me what are those things I'm jealous of…?”

“What are you jealous of?” He asks in a daze, too curious to help himself.

“I'm jealous of a certain cute cat, I'm jealous of some ratty clothes and extremely jealous of that woman who cannot stop making heart eyes this direction.” He says pointing at her with a finger. The woman blushes and looks away all at once. “I could go on but for now…”

“You're so cryptic…” Alec smiles not getting that he's talking about him. “But why would you be jealous of someone admiring you?” He asks meaning the woman, believing she's looking at Magnus.

“Maybe she wasn't admiring me…” Magnus smiles at him, raising his glass. “For us?”

‘ _Of course she was… See anyone else here?’_ He thinks before Magnus' charming smile makes him forget about everything and he raises his glass too, softly touching it with Magnus', staring at him speechless. _‘Us?’_

“And for the success of Raziel.” He reaches to touch Alec's glass again with his own. “I hope people will like it as much as I do.”

“I'm sure they will.” Alec smiles warmly at him, allowing his facade to slip knowing it'd make him happy. “From what little I heard it's a beautiful song.”

Magnus smiles candidly. “Someone beautiful inspired me so…”

Feels a pang of jealousy, but brushes it away, knowing he has no right to be jealous, and wishing to learn more. “Really? Who? Uh… Sorry, am I being nosy?”

“It's okay.” He shrugs. “It was someone from my… actual social circle.”

“Of course. Sorry, that was a silly question… Of course I wouldn't know them…”

“Oh, but you know "them"…”

The boy raises an eyebrow surprised. “I do? How come?”

Finally, the waitress approaches the table with their food and Magnus closes his mouth before he can spill out the truth. Such a good opportunity wasted… Though it could be better if he doesn't tell Alec yet.


	20. So close and yet so far...

Alec reluctantly tears his eyes off Magnus to look at the waitress. He was so engrossed in their talk he almost forgot where they were.

“My Uni!” Magnus cries out delighted almost making grabby hands while the waitress chuckles fondly. “It's been so long…”

Alec chuckles too, thinking. _‘So adorable…’_ “How do you **_eat_** that **_thing_**?” He teases when the waitress leaves his food too and goes.

“What do you mean? It's delicious!” He asks while stuffing his mouth.

The boy chuckles again, nipping at his pasta. “I hate it!” He says smiling at him.

Magnus only looks at him like he's crazy. “ ** _Why_**?”

“Must there be a reason? I just don't like its taste.” He says, enjoying Magnus' reactions.

Magnus stares at his plate then at Alec's. “What are **_you_** eating?”

“Pasta Napolitan.” He tells him smiling as Magnus seems to look for a chance to tease him back.

Magnus pauses for a moment and the next he's widely smiling. “Boooooooring.”

Alec laughs delighted by Magnus' good mood. “Pasta is not boring, there are many types of it.”

“Still boring. But **_this_** here?” He points at the Uni. “This is **_life_** , babe.”

He blushes at the endearment **_again_** but regains his composure and says. “Whatever you say ‘cielo’.” He smirks **_knowing_** Magnus doesn't speak Spanish.

Magnus blinks one, two times. “Was that some alien language…? No, I'm serious. What does that mean? ‘Cielo’.”

Alec smiles innocently at him. “Oh, I don't know… Something **_boring_** I'm sure.”

Magnus pouts poking at his Uni like it offended him. “Sounds nice though… Should I look into it later~?” He grins back at him.

His eyes widen in horror. _‘FUCK. I got too carried away.’_ He tries to keep his expression smooth though his heart is racing again. ‘ _I messed up, I messed up, I messed up.’_ “Uh… No need to… As I said, boring.” He manages to say, though he knows he's not convincing **_at_** **_all_**. _‘Please don't…’_ He pleads inwardly.

Judging by Alec's reaction he knows that "cielo" must be important so he decides to press a bit more. “Mmmm… One could think that you were proposing just with that one sweet word… Were you, Alexander?”

“W-w-what?” He blushes even more and stutters. “N-no… I, I… wasn't.”

A big smile appears on his face and he reaches to take one of Alec's hands in his own. “You sure…?”

Alec freezes and stops breathing once Magnus takes his hand looking at him like that. He knows he's messing with him, but he can't help staring helplessly at him. He tries to answer but no words reach his throat.

The singer raises an eyebrow, squeezing his hand. “Well…? You know I could take your silence as a win-win for me, right?”

“W-what is that s-supposed to mean?” Alec finally manages to say though he's barely functioning, Magnus holding his hand like that is overwhelming his senses.

Shrugging, he caresses the hand with his thumb. “Who knows~”

His heart does a backflip at that. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knows he should pull it together, but Magnus' touch is all he even wanted and he can't find it in himself to pull away from him. He sighs softly, relishing in said touch. “What do you want from me Magnus?” He whispers looking at him.

“What **_don't_** I want from you, Alexander…? After all, you inspired me to create Raziel. Yeah, it was you.” He says softly.

 _‘This is too much... He couldn’t...’_ He leans towards him for a moment but then snaps out of it and whines softly. “Please stop messing with me…” _‘Don't do this to me…’_ “I know you don't mean that…”

He pulls his hand away as he sees Alec's pained expression. “I'm sorry if that bothered you…” His gaze falls back at the half-full plate, the Uni barely touched. “We should probably go back, it's kinda late.”

He drops his eyes, his own plate unfinished too. “I'm sorry for upsetting you…” He whispers, because even in his anguish, Magnus' evident pain is more important; a knife twisting in his broken heart. “I didn't mean to…” He mutters hating himself for ruining Magnus' good mood again.

“It's alright… I wasn't that hungry anyway.” Magnus mutters getting up from the chair. “I'll go pay, you wait outside.”

He aches to take his hand and stop him, but he doesn't dare to, so he gets up too muttering an "okay" and goes outside by the car, leaning against it, staring down. “I screwed up again…” He mutters. “How many times now?”

“Who counts them? Really.” Magnus appears by his side, smiling a bit. “You didn't screw up anything, Alexander. Get in the car.”

He jumps surprised, not expecting him there so soon. “Magnus? How did you get here so fast?”

“ _“Free meal as a gift for your magical voice, sir"_ , I quote.” Magnus says with a shrug. “Apparently I don't get to pay for my food anymore, which is good… sometimes.”

He smiles a little at him though he's still sad. “Makes sense.”

He snorts. “You think?”

“Well, yeah. You **_do_** have an amazing voice…”

“While I'm thankful for that, I can pay for my own food, **_thank you very much_**.” He says a bit more harshly than he intended.

Alec bites his lip dropping his eyes to the floor. “No one said you couldn't.” He whispers. “I'm sorry if I insulted you…”

Realizing he was really rude at him he tries to amend it. “No, I'm sorry. I… God, I can't stop apologizing these days. I'm the worst… I just… I'm tired. I know that isn't even a good excuse but it's the best one I can think of at the moment.”

 ** _“Please_** don't apologise. It's not your fault… And of course you're not _"the worst"_!” Alec exclaims, hating to hear him talk like that. “And I'm supposed to be your assistant and help you...” He snorts, angry at himself. “But I'm probably just making you more tired… Maybe you should take the rest of the day off and rest…”

Magnus sighs. “Maybe you're right… But I need to go to the studio first to sign some papers. I can drop you off your loft, if you want.” He suggests.

“You don't have to trouble yourself further…” Alec mutters in response.

“It's no trouble. That way I'd know you'll be safe in your home.”

“Of course I'll be safe, what could happen to me? But okay, if that's what you want…”

“Just humour me. This one time.”

 _‘If only you knew… I’d do **anything** for you…’_ Alec thinks before nodding. “Okay. I'm sorry for the trouble.”

“Don't be. Now get in the car. We need to get going before the sun sets.” Magnus jokes, getting in the car himself.

Alec finally smiles obeying. “Right.”

“To your loft, right?” Magnus asks while setting the rearview mirror correctly.

 “Yeah…” Alec says before he remembers. “Ah, no, wait… could you take me to my parents' house? Where you picked me up yesterday? I need my bike, it's still there.”

“While I find the image of you riding a bike really appealing, I hate the whole idea of you "riding" it.”

He blushes. _‘Appealing?’_ “Why?”

“It's dangerous.” Magnus points out.

“Oh… You don't need to worry, it's not that bad. I'm being careful, never had an accident before.”

He arches an eyebrow. “Just for saying that I'm not letting you ride now. Way to jinx it.”

“But I neeeed it!!” Alec whines.

Magnus rolls his eyes. “Okay, fine… But once you're home, text me.”

The boy smiles brightly at him. “Okay!!”

That takes him by surprise so he blurts out a “What.”

Alec raises an eyebrow. “You told me to text you when I get home and I said okay?”

“Hum… Yeah, yeah. I did… Absolutely. You should text me.” Magnus babbles.

“Are you okay?” He asks studying him, thinking about how adorable he looks once more.

Magnus nods vehemently, then parks the car close to the front door of Alec's parents house, where the bike awaits for him.

“Thank you.” Alec says, and then blushes, suddenly nervous. “Uh… Magnus?”

Magnus looks back at him, his heart racing. “Yeah…”


	21. Missing your voice

“Should I…” Alec clears his throat. “Should I come to the studio tomorrow? Or do you not want me to?” He asks, unsure if Magnus is sick of seeing him already.

“Oh.” Magnus relaxes then, feeling a bit disappointed. “Sure… You're still my assistant and I'll probably need a hand…”

“Oh.” Alec mirrors him, as he visibly relaxes too. “I am? Good to know…” He smiles. “I thought you may have had enough…”

“I had enough bullshit for today.” He grins. “So yeah. See you tomorrow?”

“Okay… I promise I won't cause you **_any_** trouble tomorrow. If I do, you really should fire me…” Alec smiles again.

“If I ever fire you, Alexander, I know I will regret it… so that would be a no.” Magnus smiles back. “Come on, go.”

The boy was staring at him dazed, when his last words snapped him out of it. “I… oh. Right.” He hastily undoes the seatbelt and turns to face him again. “Thank you. For everything. Be careful on your way back.” He says and opens the door, getting out of the car.

Magnus grabs his arm before he completely goes. “You too. Take care riding the bike, and promise me you'll text.”

His heart races as he turns to look into his beautiful eyes. “Okay…” He says dazed, happy that Magnus is worried about him. “I promise.” He smiles.

“Okay… See you.” He lets him go reluctantly.

“See you…” He says, unwilling to leave him, but having no choice. “Goodnight.” He leaves before changing his mind.

“Goodnight, sayang…” Magnus mutters staring at his retreating form.

Alec leans against his bike and as his keys are in the house, takes his phone out and texts Izzy that he's outside so she can bring them to him. While waiting for her, he takes out his headphones and puts one of Magnus’ songs on. He closes his eyes sighing, already missing him terribly, but as always, his angelic voice helps him relax, the day’s tension slowly leaving him.

Magnus stays a few minutes, just watching Alec leaning against his bike relaxed, and smiles before taking off. He can't have enough of him.

A few minutes later, Alec feels someone tugging at his sleeve and opens his eyes to see a smirking Izzy looking up at him.

“Listening to **_him_** again? Didn’t you have enough?” She teases.

He sighs, smiling dreamily when thinking about him. “I can never have enough of him… You know that.”

She smiles, pinching his cheek. “You’re adorable.”

“Hey! Cut that off!” He protests, pushing her hand away. “I’m. Not. Adorable!”

“Yeah, yeah…” She only says waving her hand dismissively, but then sobers up. “Brother… Will you be okay…?”

 _‘No.’_ He looks at her for a moment, smiling sadly, and then surprises her by hugging her tightly. “I will be fine… Don’t worry…” He lies now that she can’t see his face, and then lets her go. “Keys.” He smiles putting out his hand and she hands them over. “Seeya tomorrow little sis.”

“Seeya big bro.” She smiles getting on her tiptoes to put his helmet on him. “Be careful.”

“I will be.” He answers patting her head before getting on his bike and heading home.

~ **o~**

Alec arrives home and takes his phone out once more. “Hello… I’m home.” He types. “What about you? Everything okay?”

When his phone rang with a new text, he was still at the studio signing papers like a madman: contracts, authorizations… He'll probably have to for another hour or so. Sighing, he grabs the device and smiles at the message, typing back. “Hi, darling. I'm glad you did it. I'm at the studio, had some work to do… Did you feed Gabriel yet?”

His heart starts racing when a new message arrives, as he was not expecting Magnus to answer him, let alone so soon. He frowns at his answer though, writing back. “But you must go rest…” And then he adds, answering his question. “No, not yet… You told me to text you once I got home, so I did… If I don't come tomorrow, know that Gabriel got impatient and ate **_me_**." He smiles and sends it.

The phone rings again and he gives in on the impulse to call Alec, just doing it.

Suddenly the phone rings and he jumps, almost dropping it. He holds it in his hands looking at it, his eyes a little wide, as it keeps ringing, Magnus' voice filling the silent room. He takes a deep breath and picks up. “H-He-Hello?”

First thing he does is chuckling. “Don't sound so nervous, Alexander. I promised not to fire you~”

“I- I'm not… You just…” _‘Oh my God I missed you so much already, what's wrong with me?’_ He thinks. “You surprised me, that's all.”

Magnus smiles while leaning back on his chair. “You know… I kinda missed your voice…”

Alec smiles too collapsing on the couch, blushing. “One would think you'd have had enough of me for a day…” He tells him, not daring to believe his words, and barely holding back from telling him he missed him too.

“Enough of you? **_Never._** ” He exhales content. “Thanks for taking the call… I needed this.”

He blushes more, wishing so much he could believe him. “Are you okay?” He asks in a hushed voice, worried about him. He doesn't **_sound_** very well and all Alec wants to do is leave home immediately and go hug him.

“Just tired…” Magnus mutters running a hand over his face. “Guess I'll have to hang up if I want some work done and rest.” He adds as he sees the time. “Too bad, this conversation was promising…”

Alec wishes they could talk more too, but above all he wants him to be okay and that means resting soon. “I'm sorry for keeping you. Please try to finish up quickly so you can rest, okay? Are you sure you can drive back afterwards?”

He chuckles. “What are you saying? **_I_** called you. But yeah, don't worry. I'll be fine. You too, go rest.”

“ **No.** ” He says stubbornly. “I will wait for you to reach home safely too first. Please send me a message when you do.” He pauses, hesitating, and then dares to be bold, his heart’s desire too much to resist. “Or you can call again if you want to…? Just let me know you are okay…”

“If I call you from my bed I'll surely want more than a little chit chat, darling~” Magnus teases.

“What do you mean?” Alec asks, sincerely confused absently cocking his head to the side.

Magnus simply shakes his head, checking the time once more. “Sorry, pretty boy. I have no time for explanations. Maybe another day. I'll text you later~ 'Night.”

“Oh, sorry… Goodnight…” He whispers, his voice warm. “Take care…”

“Goodnight, sweet cheeks~” He ends hanging up and going back to sign more shit. He loved singing but taking care of the business was boring as hell.

 


	22. Cruel Fate

Alec sighs staying there for a while, staring into space, thinking how surreal his situation is. If someone told him four days ago he'd be sitting in his couch having small talk with Magnus (!) on the phone, he would have laughed at them, saying miracles didn't happen to him. _‘And yet here I am, whining because he will never love me back…’_ He thinks. ‘ _I should really stop being so selfish…’_

Just then Gabriel appears and jumps on him meowing. “Hey baby…” Alec says petting him. “Hungry?” The cat purrs and meows making Alec chuckle and he gets up to fill his bowl, sitting on the floor beside him while he eats. “I’m sorry sweetheart… It’s been a long day…” He mutters. Once the cat eats and comes back to him for cuddling, he takes him to his arms and falls on his bed. “What am I gonna do?” He whispers. “I love him… I love him so much…”

Gabriel had heard all of that, hundreds of times before, but this time his ‘Angel’s’ (as he liked to call Alec since the day he saved him) voice was laced with despair making the cat worry. He meowed and purred rubbing his head on Alec’s face making him smile and hug him tighter.

“I love you too. Very very much.” He sighed leaving his phone on the nightstand putting a playlist on, sighing, waiting for Magnus to text him he was back safe.

The streets are quiet when he steps out of the building and into the Porsche. He sits for a few minutes in there, just looking through the windshield, his eyes almost closed. Patting his cheeks to clear himself, he starts the car turning the key in the ignition. He knows that he shouldn't be driving in such a bad shape but he has to get home someway and he isn't calling a taxi at this hour of the night, so he just **_drives_**. He manages to arrive home in less than 15 and he falls on his bed 5 minutes later. Fortunately, he remembers to text Alec before dozing off. _"Home. CYT. LY. -Mags"_

**_~o~_ **

Alec is almost half asleep when his phone finally rings. He reaches out to read the message, signing in relief at the first word. What he reads next though makes him freeze in place, staring wide eyes at the screen, his heart jumping again. **"L.Y"** He'd seen those two letters plenty, Izzy would always add them to her texts to him. **_"Love You"_**.

“No… He doesn't mean that… He is probably too tired to know what he was writing…” He whispers to himself, his eyes unable to leave the screen. “Miracles don't happen to me after all…” He says touching the screen, thinking of him. He types a response, "Sweet dreams." and sends it, proceeding to open the text again and looks at it until he finally falls asleep like that, staring at Magnus' words, with his music echoing in his ears lulling him into a dreamless sleep.

Magnus doesn't see the new message until he wakes up, exactly at 6am. He has to shower and get ready to go to the studio for more rehearsals though he still feels extremely tired. Before that, he grabs the phone and smiles at Alec's "Sweet dreams". Just two words and it's enough for him to cheer up and start the day with good humor. But then he scrolls up and freaks out. “Oh-my-God… What did I do? He must think I'm an idiot now!” Groaning, he covers his face with both hands. “Pretty sure I scared him away… **_Damn_** …” It's no use blaming himself, he **_knows_** but he can't help it. An idea crosses his mind but he decides against it. After all, what would he say if he'd call Alec? ‘I'm sorry, I was asleep and didn't mean it’ ‘Forget it so we can keep going with our boss/assistant healthy relationship, with me trying to seduce you at times’? **_“Fuck it.”_** He mutters in frustration, grabbing a change of clothes and going to the bathroom.

**~o~**

Forty-five minutes later he exits the loft, nerves eating him from the inside, and drives until he reaches the studio. Tessa is sitting behind her desk at the reception, looking warily at him. Magnus sighs and approaches her. “Good morning.”

"Good morning, sir" She says with a neutral tone which makes Magnus' insides churn.

“Tessa, I… owe you an apology. I know that you meant good, though I don't approve the method. But as I said before, we both, Alec and I, are adults and we can sort things out without any help.”

"Are you sure about that…? Because I saw your expression when you came in and it wasn't directed at me."

The silence that follows that statement is suffocating. “Okay, you got me. I may have text Alec a "LY" last night. I was practically asleep and my **_overly in love_** mind must had taken over my hands, and now I can't think about anything other than I screwed up everything because I'm 100% sure that he hates me now. I mean, how could he not? Right?”

Tessa arches a brow, arms crossed over her chest. "You're an idiot"

“I **_know_**!”

"Not because of **_that._** " She hurries to say and Magnus just stares at her until she sighs giving up. "He doesn't hate you, Mags…"

The change in her tone is so noticeable that he pays more attention. “What do you mean?”

"He likes you."

Magnus makes a face then. “No, he doesn't. He may not be like the rest, kissing my ass and all that bullshit, but even so, Alec doesn't feel anything more than the responsibility of keeping me safe or… well-informed, whatever. I'm paying him for that…” He ends up saying in a whisper.

Tessa just looks at him with sorrow and softly takes his hands between her own. "Everything will be fine, Mags… You'll see."

Magnus simply nods, his gaze lost somewhere through the glass from the front door. He doesn't believe a word.

**~o~**

Alec was so tired by the lack of sleep the previous day and night that he missed the alarm. When he woke up, it was 6:50 and he had to be at the studio at 7 o'clock. He jumps off the bed scaring Gabriel who was sleeping beside him and runs to fill his bowl, dresses on the first thing lying around and his bike jacket, then grabs his keys and hurries out of the house checking his clock again and cursing under his breath. He runs to his bike and takes off.

There is some spilled oil on the road though that he doesn’t notice, and before he knows what happened, he loses control of the motorcycle which spins and turns, and finally falls down, somehow trapping him under it. “Dammit…” He manages to push it off him and slowly takes his phone out dialing Magnus’ number. While it rings, he takes his helmet off and tosses it aside, his head feeling about to break because of a splitting headache.

He jumps on the chair, startled, when he hears the phone ringing in his pocket. Grabbing it, he stares dumbfounded at the screen. “It's **_him_**.”

"Who?" Tessa asks.

 ** _“Alec_**.”

"Then **_take it_** , you dumbass."

“Wha- You know I could fire you for insulting me, right?”

"Yeah, yeah. **_Take_** it."

Breathing deeply, he touches the screen over the green symbol. “Magnus Bane speaking, who do I have the honour to talk to…?”

Even though he's hurt, Magnus' voice brings a smile to his face. “Hey…” He says with great effort, his every breath hurting and he knows he has probably fractured a rib. “It's Alec, Ale…xander…”

Magnus notices that something is wrong right away. He gets up from the chair almost instantly. “Alexander, is everything okay? Are you hurt? Where are you? I'm coming.”

“I'm okay…” He winces gritting his teeth. “Don't… know… Somewhere near…” He breathes. “I’m sorry… I’m… going to be… late… Magnus… I…” _‘I love you…’_ At this point he gets on his feet, but his vision darkens as the world suddenly starts spinning and he blacks out.

 


	23. Anguish

The moment the line goes silent is when everything comes to Magnus like a slap. Alec is hurt, he can **_feel_** it, somewhere near, as he pointed out, and alone. The anguish is too much to bear. A panic attack starts to grow on him but then he feels Tessa hugging him and Magnus tries desperately to calm himself. “He's hurt… He probably had an accident… I need to go…”

"Yeah, of course." She caresses his back, worried sick. "What do you want me to do?"

“I need you to track him down and tell me over the phone, I'll be on the road.”

Tessa nods and hurries to the computer. "Take care"

“Yeah…” He speeds up, although he just promised Tessa to drive carefully. Minutes later, he gets the call telling him to go a bit to the south and he takes the next exit. When he finds him, his heart breaks while he kneels beside him and calls an ambulance, almost drowning in tears.

He's drifting into oblivion when he hears Magnus' voice calling him. ‘ _He sounds so sad… But why?’_ Unable to move, he wonders where is he. All he can see is darkness. _‘Am I… dreaming? What happened?’_

The ambulance is taking its **_damn_** time to get there and Magnus can't hold down the tears anymore. He feels like **_dying_** , with Alec between his arms. “Please, be okay… Please, Alexander… Wake up… Don't leave me…”

His body hurts and his mind feels heavy, _‘I'm so tired…’_ but listening to Magnus crying and sounding so heartbroken knowing **_he_** is to blame is nothing short of anguish. _‘Magnus… No… Please don't cry… Please don't be sad… My love… Please…’_ **_Needing_** to see him, to help him and comfort him, he manages to slowly open his eyes.

His breath catches in his throat as he sees Alec opening his eyes. “Alexander. Thank god…” He carefully wraps his arms around him, not wanting to hurt him further. “I called an ambulance… You're going to be fine…”

Even when in so much pain, being on his arms feels like Heaven. “Hey…” He rasps looking up at him. “It's okay…” He raises his hand to wipe Magnus' tears away and smiles to reassure him, splitting his dry lips, barely registering the extra pain. “I'm fine…Please don't cry…Magnus… I… L-” He says trying to sit up before another dizzy spell hits him and he blacks out again.

“A-Alec…? Alexander, hey…! Don't do this to me…” Magnus looks horrified as if he just killed the boy or something, a new panic attack emerging. That was the time the ambulance chose to appear. Quickly, the EMTs get Alec inside, Magnus sitting on the bench with one of his hands in his own.

“Are you family?” One of the EMTs, a young brunette man, asks.

“No, I… I'm his boss and… friend.”

“Right… Have you contacted anyone in his family?”

Startled, Magnus grabs Alec's phone to call his sister. She has to know what happened and come. Then he sees the background and stares at it surprised. It's an image of his cat-eyes when he did that one videoclip, the one in which he was a warlock. It could be a coincidence, right? Swallowing hard, he looks through his contacts until he sees Alec's sister name, Izzy, presses the call button and waits for her to pick it up.

Izzy was home, pacing nervously, an uneasy feeling in her that she couldn't place. It felt like something was wrong. Suddenly her phone rings. It's Alec's ringtone and she picks up with a smile. "Alec!!! Hey!"

“I-… I'm not Alec.” Magnus says very quietly, zero confidence in his voice not cracking up.

Izzy freezes hearing a somehow familiar voice that she can't place. “Who is this?” She demands. “Where is my brother?”

“Magnus Bane. He's…” He swallows again, his eyes looking at the pale boy on the stretcher. “He had a bike accident…”

She freezes in surprise for a moment only to snap out of it immediately. “What??? Oh my God, Alec… Is he… Alive??”

“Y-yeah, he is… Just… unconscious. We're taking him to the Hospital. You know where is it, right?”

She sighs in relief relaxing a little. “Yes. I will be right there.” She hangs up shouting for Jace to get his ass there and explains what happened, then goes to get ready and they both leave.

**~o~**

Finally, they arrive at the Hospital, getting Alec inside right away while Magnus has to wait sitting in an armchair outside the operations room, in the corridor. His mind races, imagining all kind of scenarios, every single one of them ending with Alec inevitably dying.

Izzy and Jace arrive at the hospital 10 minutes later and they ask at the reception who redirects them where Alec is. They reach the waiting room and she sees him there. “Magnus Bane.” She says plainly, the situation too grave to allow her any “Fangirl moments."

Magnus stands up once he hears someone calling his name, thinking it may be a nurse but he's wrong. The girl in front of him is no one but Alec's beautiful sister. “Isabelle, right…? And… was it Trace? I'm sorry, I don't remember very well…” He says to the blonde guy standing at her right side. He really does not remember.

"Jace". He corrects just informationally, too worried about Alec to care that Magnus got it wrong.

“What happened??” Izzy demands. “How?? Were you two together?”

Magnus steps back a bit. “No, I-I was at the studio. I-… He called me. I mean, he obviously was riding before he did and… I-I'm sorry, I'm not making any sense… All I know is that he had the accident and it was my fault.” He ends up saying, his throat tight with nervousness and anguish.

“ **Your** fault??? What did you do to him?!?” She shouts, blinded by love and worry for Alec, knowing his love for Magnus, and thinking he may have rejected him, causing him to be distracted enough to crash the bike. “If anything happens to him, I swear-!”

"Izzy." Jace stops her, being reasonable for once.

“I-I didn't… I just…” He collapses in one of the armchairs, covering his face with both hands. “Last night I… texted him that I loved him. I guess he was worried enough to not pay attention on the road…”

They are both stunned. Izzy slowly walks towards him and notices the state he's in for the first time. Nothing like the Magnus she saw on Tv. “You… what?” She asks disbelief colouring her voice. “And did you tell him afterwards you didn't mean it?” As much as she adores Alec, she doesn't know Magnus really, so she doesn't believe he would really love him.

Magnus shakes his head. “I thought about it but I couldn't… because I meant it. I really love your brother, Isabelle.” He looks up then, meeting her intense and dark gaze. “He's my angel…” He swallows, dropping his gaze once more. “But after this I-I don't deserve anything from him, not even a simple glance. I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…”

When he looks at her she sees into his eyes, red from crying, that he's telling the truth. Stunned she moves his way, kneeling on the floor beside him and taking his hands. “Hey… Don't say that. I'm sorry for shouting at you. It's not your fault, Alec would never be that careless. Something else happened. Also…” She sighs. “Knowing him, he probably didn't believe you…” She can imagine Alec crystal clear, seeing it and telling himself it was friendly or something cause it couldn't possibly be anything else.

He glances at her, then at their hands touching. “Maybe because he doesn't feel anything for me… But it doesn’t matter now, I just want him to be okay…”

She almost snorts and starts laughing at the sheer absurdity of his words, but she holds back, saying nothing, knowing Alec would be mad at her. _‘Better said, maybe because he feels too much…’_ She thinks but only tells him, willing herself to believe it too so she won't lose her mind from worry. “Don't be sad… Everything is going to be okay… And he's going to be fine. You'll see. My brother is really tough.”

Magnus gives her a little squeeze before letting go. “Listen…”

"Alexander Gideon Lightwood's family?" A nurse comes then, interrupting what he was about to say. It wasn't that important anyway. Alec is.

He's on his feet in less than two seconds. “Yes. I mean, they are.” He says quickly, pointing at Izzy and Jace.

Izzy jumps on her feet too and Jace puts a hand on her shoulder.

“We're his siblings.” He says.

“Is he okay??” Izzy intervenes.

 


	24. “I want to see him…”

"Yes." The nurse says. "He wasn't in danger to begin with. He has a light concussion, a strained leg and he needed some stitches, also has two ribs that are cracked but not very seriously. It's nothing to worry about, he's going to be fine. For a bike accident he really got away lightly. Wearing his helmet helped a big deal too."

Izzy sighed in relief collapsing to a chair. “Thank God.”

“Can we see him?" Jace asks.

"Yes but not all at the same time. Just the two of you for now."

They nod and Izzy turns to Magnus with a smile. “Thank you for bringing him. Please stay. He will surely want to see you too.”

He smiles a bit, nodding in her direction. “Yeah… Go see him. He needs you.”

_‘If only you knew how much he needs you too…’_ She thinks but refrains from saying anything. “Okay! See you in a bit!” She says and they go.

**~o~**

Magnus is alone for a little while until he feels someone sitting beside him and putting an arm around his shoulders. Magnus recognizes him right away.

“Tessa was worried. You didn't call her so she send me to check on you.” That's Ragnor's way to tell him he was worried as well and Magnus has to smile at that.

“I'm fine.”

“How about the boy? Is he…?”

“A light concussion and a few cracked ribs. His siblings are with him now.”

Ragnor nods and squeezes his shoulder, waiting for him to talk when he's ready.

“You know, last night at the studio I was signing all these contracts and papers to authorize the filming of Raziel's videoclip and then this happens…” Magnus suddenly shakes his head. “Worst part is that right now I don't give a **_damn_** about it. I may have lost the chance to film it for a while but all I can think about is Alec, him being in a hospital bed because of **_me_**. I would never forgive myself if something happened to him…”

“Okay. First, look at me, Mags.”

Magnus complies.

“Second, your fault? It was an accident. Accidents happen sometimes. You cannot blame yourself over something that was out of your control. That's **_stupid_** and you are a lot of things, Bane, but stupid isn't one of them.”

That makes Magnus chuckle and Ragnor smiles wide giving him another squeeze. “That's better… Come on, I need a coffee.”

“No, I'll wait here. I want to see him.”

“He will still be here when you come back. Just… Magnus, you need to start taking better care of yourself. You look **_beat.”_**

“I can't sleep very well these days… But I'll be fine. Just go ahead, bring a cup for me.”

"Alright… I'll be back.” Ragnor sighs, quietly going with his hands in his jeans.

Magnus stares at his back, feeling fortunate for having such good friends.

**~o~**

Izzy and Jace walk inside led by the nurse who stops at the door to talk to them.

"Alexander is still under the influence of sedatives so he might not wake up for another hour or so, and when he does he will feel light-headed, as if he's drunk. But he's going to be just fine." She finally smiles at them to reassure them, and leads them to his bed, then leaves them alone.

Once she sees him unconscious like that, Izzy's adamant facade shatters and she runs to his side, falling on her knees beside the bed and clutching his hand, crying. "Alec…" She looks up at his face, which is paler than normal. There are stitches on his left eyebrow. His breathing is slow but steady and he looks peaceful which is reassuring. "Alec…" She whimpers. “You stupid idiot! Why aren't you careful??"

Jace moves closer too, biting his lip to keep his expression neutral and takes his other hand. "Dammit man…" He mutters too, anguished. They stay there for a while just holding his hands and looking at him, thanking God he's alive.

"I almost lost another brother…" Izzy whispers in tears, and Jace hugs her shoulders.

"Hey… Don't talk like that. This is Alec… He wouldn't do this to us."

"You're right…" She sniffs. "But still…"

"I know…" He tells her. "I know…"

Just then, Alec stirs, as if having listened to their hushed voices. But he hasn't. He is trapped in a nightmare once more, muttering their little brother's name.

Izzy's eyes widen and she jumps on her feet immediately, shaking him gently to wake him. "Alec! Alec, wake up!!"

He opens his eyes widely, staring at her, the dream dispersing. “Izzy? What happened? Where am I…?” He mutters disorientated.

"At the hospital." She explains. "You had an accident with the bike."

“Oh… I'm sorry for worrying you…” He says reaching out to touch her face, and wipe her tears.

Listening to him talk like his usual self, apologising while he's the one hurt, brings the reality upon her and she hugs him crying and laughing at the same time. "You idiot!" She sobs. "We were all so worried! Don't you dare to do that again!!"

He winces in pain but conceals it and hugs her back petting her hair. I'm really sorry…” He whispers. “I won't.”

She lets him go, nodding. "You'd better! Next time I will kill you myself!" She threatens and he chuckles softly.

“Deal.” He turns to Jace too. “I'm sorry…” He repeats.

His brother smiles squeezing his hand. "Just… what she said." He tells him and they all laugh.

“But…” Alec says afterwards. “How did I get here? I was alone…”

"Magnus." Izzy plainly says and his eyes widen.

“Magnus?”

“He brought you to the hospital. Said you called him.”

“Oh…” He mutters remembering. “I saw him… I thought it was a dream… Why was he so sad?”

Izzy scowls at the question shaking her head. “See? I **_told_** him." She tells Jace referring to telling Magnus that Alec didn't believe him.

Jace just shakes his head while Alec looks at both, confused.

“Tell who what??”

“None of your business.” Izzy says sharply. “And as for Magnus… Why don't you ask him yourself?”

“He's here??” Alec asks surprised.

“Of course.”

“Can I see him?? Do you think he'd mind?”

“ ** _My God, you're stupid._** " She says, not unkindly. “I assure you he won't mind.”

Alec smiles brightly brushing her 'insult' aside. “I'm glad… I want to see him…”

Izzy sighs smiling, glad to see him not only alive but looking happy too, and ruffles his hair. “We'll go get him then. He's just outside. See you later brother.” She says kissing his forehead.

Jace nods a goodbye too and with a last squeeze lets go of his hand. Alec smiles at them both as they go, thinking he's really blessed to have them.


	25. Time of the truth

Magnus is slumped against the armchair, looking extremely interested in his own hands. Now that Ragnor is gone for who knows how long -how can anyone take that horrendous amount of time to buy two miserable cups of coffee?-, he feels jittery. He cannot wait to see Alec, to check that he's fine with his own eyes.

They exit the room and see Magnus where they left him, staring down at his hands nervously. Izzy can hardly believe this is the same Magnus Bane she 'knew'. That gorgeous confident man who always seemed unbaffled by everything. _‘He must really love him…’_ She thinks smiling fondly, approaching him. “Hey… Magnus…” She calls his name softly.

Hearing his name, he looks up. “Hey… How… how is he?” He stands up because he cannot be in that armchair for much longer.

Izzy smiles at him. “He's fine… He's going to be okay.”

Magnus sighs relieved. “Thank God…”

"Do you want to go see him?" She asks.

He hesitates. “I'd like to but… what about him? Would Alec want to see me?”

“He asked if he could see you. If you don't **_mind_**." She shakes her head, exasperated at her oblivious brother.

“Oh, he did?” He's kinda surprised. Normally, Alec seems so evasive with him…

“Yeah. Maybe it's the drugs getting to him.” She teases, seeing Magnus' surprised expression. _‘Another oblivious one. God, they are made for each other…’_ She thinks.

Magnus looks as if he's considering it. “Maybe you're right… So, I'm going in then.”

She sighs making shooing motions at him urging him on. “Go on then. He's waiting. We'll go get some coffee.”

He remembers something then. “Ah, if you see a green-haired man tell him I'm with Alec. He's uh… Ragnor, a friend.”

She raises an eyebrow surprised. “Green hair… Got it.”

“What can I say? He's a bit… special.” Magnus smirks before entering Alec's room.

Alec is lying on the bed staring at the ceiling, waiting for Magnus. He's taking too long and he's getting anxious. _‘What if he doesn't want to see me after all? Maybe he had finally had enough… But I **need** to apologise to him…’_ His gloomy thoughts are interrupted by the sound of the door opening, and he tries to sit up, hoping it's him.

The vision of Alec on that bed physically **_hurts_** Magnus. “Hey, pretty boy…” He says softly, approaching him.

Seeing him makes the pain in his body go away and he smiles brightly at him. “Hi…”

“Good to see you smiling after… you know.” He sits in the armchair next to the bed. “How are you feeling?”

“I'm okay, please don't worry. Magnus…” He starts saying raising his hand Magnus' way wanting to touch him, to take his hand in his, not realising he's being too bold.

Magnus takes his hand right away, thinking that he probably doesn't know what he's doing because he's on drugs. “It's my duty to worry for my precious employees, and for you, my angel.”

He blushes looking at him, at both the endearments and holding his hand. “Thank you. Magnus…” He says again. “I wanted to apologise…”

“You're always doing that… Aren't you tired of it?” He says half-joking.

Gives him a small smile. “Never!” And then he sobers up, raising his other hand to touch Magnus' face briefly. “I'm so sorry for hurting you… I never wanted to make you sad…”

His breath catches in his throat as Alec touches his face. “Then promise me you will never be this careless again.”

“I promise. I'm also sorry for breaking yesterday's promise… I said I wouldn't cause you any more trouble…” He sighs softly. “But here I am. Keeping you from the actually important things. I guess you need to go back?” He whispers sadly.

“It was an accident, sayang… And I'm taking a break so no, I'm not going. Unless you want me to…?”

“Oh…” He smiles. “I'm glad. You need to rest.” He looks down blushing, his heart beating faster. “I don't want you to go…” He bites his lip then. “ _‘Sayang’_ … You said that before… What does it mean?”

Magnus' heart starts racing as he hears Alec speak that way, it's as if he… had feelings for him. Maybe that's why he decides to be honest with him. “It means "my beloved"…”

“Oh…” Alec stares at him frozen, his eyes wide, his heart fluttering as he also remembers the text. _‘But he can't mean it…’_

Feeling his discomfort, Magnus disentangles their hands standing up. “I should let you sleep. You must be tired…”

He immediately feels the loss of his touch. Holding his hand felt so familiar… Like home. And then he jumps at his next words. “No!!” He exclaims before thinking about it. “Please don't go.” He blushes crimson. “I…I mean… you… you don't have to if you want to go… I'm sorry…” He drops his eyes again, clenching his hands.

He stares at him for a minute before he softly says. “That was never about me, Alexander. It has always been your choice.”

Looks back into those eyes he loves so much and whispers. “But I don't want to force you to do anything…”

“You see me complaining?”

“You wouldn't complain anyway… You're too kind…” Alec mutters.

“Oh, trust me. **_I_** **_would._** ” He says snorting.

 _‘So adorable’_ Alec thinks smiling up at him, daring to hope. “Then… can you… please… stay a little longer…?”

Magnus stares backs at him, a tiny smile on his face, and then surrenders. “Alright…” He sits down again.

His eyes shine with happiness. “Thank you so much!” _‘You have no idea how much I need you…’_ “Thank you…”

“Don't thank me, I'd do anything for you…”

He freezes again momentary at his words, thinking; _‘Am I dreaming? It can't be…’_ “Ma…gnus…” He stutters. “You… I… Why? Why would you…? I don't… understand…”

Magnus rolls his eyes. “God, you're such an idiot… How could I have fallen for you?”

“W-w-what d-did you say???” _‘I'm hallucinating. It's the drugs… Or could it be… God… I died, didn't I?’_ He thinks, his mind in turmoil, unable to believe that in any version of reality Magnus could actually love him back.


	26. I love you

“You read it, right? The text message.” Magnus simply asks.

“I… I did… But you didn't mean it, right? How-how could you? I… I mean…you are practically a God, and I… am merely…”

Magnus sighs deeply. “I'm just a singer, Alexander. A human being like you with faults and foibles… and I love you.”

He feels his heart stop and forgets to breathe altogether, Magnus' words more important than oxygene.

> **_"I love you."_ **

_‘It's a dream.’_ He thinks again, and now he's sure. _‘Such a beautiful dream.’_

> **_"I love you."_ **

He takes a much needed breath and says. “You have no faults… You are perfect. And I… I love you too… Oh God, you have no idea how much I love you…”

He shouldn't be that surprised by Alec's confession but he is. After all, he didn't act like he was in love with him. He seemed so indifferent to him… So he blurts out a: “I thought you hated me.”

**_“Hate_** you?? Hate… **_You_**??? You, of **all** people, I could **_never_** hate.” Alec says with fervour. “I love you…” He says again wishing to at least tell him in the dream what he can't in reality.

“Okay…” Magnus mutters closing the distance between the two of them. “Shall we seal it with a kiss?”

His blue eyes widen and his heartbeat falters once more. “Ma-Ma-gnus… I-I-I…”

“Yeah…?” He's over Alec, looking down at him, not daring to tear his eyes away.

_‘Dream or no dream if he kisses me I may die…’_ He thinks, his eyes never leaving Magnus' either. “I…” ‘ _If something is worth dying for, it's a kiss from him…’_ He decides in his head and then finally manages to piece out a single word. “O… Okay…”

Magnus’ smile widens as he goes down on him to tenderly kiss him on the forehead at the last second. “Now sleep…”

He freezes again and then melts under his touch, feeling his lips on him. “Magnus…” He breathes his name like a prayer.

“Wish I could really kiss you but it'd be as if I'd be taking advantage of you…” The singer whispers a few centimeters away and the boy makes a small sound of protest.

“Why…?”

Magnus chuckles. “You're practically **_high_** , sayang… We should wait until your mind is clear again.”

“I'm nooot… Maaagnus…. Please…” Alec whimpers, most logical thoughts leaving him, intoxicated by both the drugs and Magnus’ words and presence.

“No means no, babe… It's for the best.” He says, caressing his dark hair.

“Okay…” Alec looks down defeated, not meeting his eyes, but still loving his tender touch, never wanting him to stop.

“Are you mad at me…?”

“No!” He looks up with a sudden motion and feels a stab of pain. “Never…” He winces. “Of course not… Magnus… I love you…”

Magnus bites his lower lip as he sees him wincing in pain. “Be careful or I will have to tie you to the bed~”

Alec stares at him, his eyes a little unfocused, as Magnus’ gesture is doing things to him, and then he blushes at his words. “Sorry…”

“So you don't want me to tie you up…?” The older man teases smirking.

“Ma-Magnus!!!” He stutters blushing even more.

Magnus laughs openly. “I was kidding, Alexander. Don't worry. I won't do it… yet.”

Still blushing, Alec mutters. “You're making fun of me again…”

“I'm not, I just **_love_** seeing you blush~”

“Then **_kiss me_**.” He tries his luck once more.

He goes for it but then retreats again. “ ** _No_** …”

Alec looks at him sadly. “But I will wake up soon… And you won't love me anymore…”

“Good Lord… What kind of drugs are you on…? Asking for a friend~”

“I don't know… But I wouldn't mind taking them again…” He smiles sadly in response. “You're the best dream I ever had…”

“Touch me… Then you'll see for yourself that I'm not a dream…”

Not needing to be told twice, he immediately reaches out for him looking into his eyes enchanted.

Magnus smiles leaning in, waiting for him to take the initiative.

Alec wraps his arms around him, not caring for the pain, breathing in his scent. “I love you…” He chants. “I love you, I love you…”

He hugs him back carefully, well aware of his condition. “I love you too, sayang…” He whispers as he closes his eyes, just feeling.

He sighs content losing himself in his arms, all tension leaving him. They just stay there until Alec feels himself drifting away and jolts, willing himself to wake up.

Feeling the jolt as his own, he shushes him. “Hey, go to sleep… I know you're tired…”

“No…” He whimpers softly. “I can't sleep here… I don't want to… No…”

“What do you mean…?” Magnus asks quietly.

“I need to…” He pauses and looks into his eyes only to avert them embarrassed. “No… It doesn't matter… I can't sleep like that… Not only I will lose you… The Nightmares will be back… No…” He repeats again. “I don't want to sleep…”

“Just tell me what to do, Alexander…”

Looks into his eyes once more, anguished, his arms around Magnus' waist tightening. “Magnus…”

Magnus stares into his beautiful eyes. “Tell me…”

“I… I…” He sighs looking into his eyes and says. “Ever since… the fire… I had nightmares every time I slept… There is only one thing that can help me… That can save me from them and keep them away…”

“What is it? Is it in your loft? I'll get it for you…”

“Thank you cielo…” He smiles a little sadly. “But no.” He tightens his hold so Magnus won't go.

“Then what is it…? And what does "cielo" mean?” He pushes, stroking his hair.


	27. His greatest fan

“It means the same as sayang…” Alec smiles up at him lovingly, adoring his touch. “And it's you…” He whispers. “The only thing that can save me… Is your angelic voice…”

Magnus gasps. “You mean… me singing?”

“Yes…” Alec blushes again, averting his eyes.

“Okay then… I hope I'm not getting kicked out because of this.” He chuckles.

“You don't have to if you don't want…” Alec says, though he wants it, he _**needs** _ it more than anything… “I'll just… is my phone ok?”

“I do want to but… Oh, yeah. I have it with me. I forgot to give it to your sister, sorry.” He pulls the phone out of his pocket.

“It's okay, thank you…” He frowns a little, worry tugging at his heart, dreading Magnus’ next answer, but he asks anyway. “But…?”

“But I want to stay a little more… so I'll sing to you before I go.” Magnus smiles. “I saw your… background.”

“Oh…” Alec mutters pleasantly surprised. “Okay then…” He smiles back. “I want you to stay too…” He confesses, and blushes. “Was that the only thing you saw?”

He arches a brow. “Yeah…? Do you have more than that?”

Alec blushes more. “Maybe…”

“Like…? Come on, Alexander, you already told me your feelings. What could be more embarrassing than that~?”

The boy laughs aloud at that. “Right. What could be more embarrassing than a grown man having a celebrity crush?”

Magnus chuckles. “You tell me.”

“I may have some of your songs in it…” Alec smiles. “You know, not many… Just to help me sleep.” He smirks. “Just a few… CDs… demos… Anything you've ever sang in general…” He pauses then, looking mildly terrified. “Wait. God, that sounded creepy. I swear it's not as creepy as it sounds, I just really really love your voice. … I'm making it worse aren't I?” He covers his face with his hands. “God… I'm so sorry… You don't have to stay if you don't want to anymore, I'll understand… I'm sorry, I’ll shut up now.”

That makes Magnus smile even more. “That's… wow. I'm flattered. I remember my first album… It wasn't awful but not too good either. I almost gave up before starting. Fortunately, I had people by my side that helped me.” He explains, obviously ignoring the boy’s last words.

Said boy looks at him through his fingers, still embarrassed. “All your albums are great… You are amazing…” He mutters. “I'm so glad you didn't give up…”

“Me too, I got to know **_you_ ** so…” He smiles. “What's your favourite song?”

Alec can't help but smile back, fondly. “Oh… you asked me that before… The first time we met, and I lied of course.” He chuckles. “I adore them all, but If I had to choose… I'd say _‘Living out your expectations.’_ ”

“Of course.” He rolls his eyes. “And really? That's my favourite too. I made it after moving out from my parents' house… It was the only way to let my feelings out.”

He smiles warmly at the coincidence but then frowns and touches his face softly. “I'm so sorry you had to feel this way… It was about the same for me too… I felt connected to it after leaving home.”

Magnus leans into the touch. “I'm glad I helped you out then…”

“You didn't, just ‘ ** _help_** ’ me Magnus… You **_literally_ ** saved my life… If it wasn't for you…” Alec says gravely, looking into his eyes.

He stares back, wanting nothing but to never let him go. “Wish you could trust me enough to tell me… But I'll wait, I will always wait for you.”

“I **_trust_** you… **_Of course_ ** I do. I'm so sorry to keep you waiting… I couldn't… I just couldn't tell you… that I loved you…”

“Why? Do you think I'm _**that** _ full of myself, that I'd play around with your feelings?”

Alec drops his eyes. “I… I don't know… I guess I just couldn't believe someone like you could seriously like me… I still don’t. I said it before, look at you…” He raises his stare at him, infinite love and awe reflected in his blue eyes. “You really are too perfect…” He looks away again before saying lower. “And all your exes were extremely beautiful too… Also… there was that other thing…”

“They weren't there just for my looks but for my money and fame so…” Magnus sighs running a hand through his hair. “What other thing?”

Alec touches Magnus’ face again wishing he could take away all the pain people have caused him. He then takes his hand and kisses it, before letting go and looking away once more. “I was afraid. You said you didn't want fans working for you, so I thought that if you knew you would send me away… I pretended to be indifferent so I could just stay beside you a little longer… I’m surprised you didn’t see right through me and instead thought I hated you… I did a terrible job at hiding. I could hardly take my eyes off you.”

Magnus smiles at the gesture. “I'm gonna be honest and say that I took it as if you were impressed with how I deal with shit like Matt Greene every freaking day.” He chuckles. “But yeah, I can see why you did it… You can be yourself from now on though.”

He looks at him smiling sadly. “Sure…”

“I'm serious, Alexander… You don't need to hide your feelings from me anymore.”

He looks at him anguished. “It still looks so unbelievable… That you would love me…”

“What do I have to do for you to believe me?”

“Nothing my love…” The endearment escapes his lips before he can hold it back, and he blushes. “It's not your fault. As I said. **_You_** , are perfect. **_I_** , am the defective one…

“You aren't defective… You're my beautiful angel…” He leans in to kiss him on the cheek, close to his mouth.

Alec closes his eyes relishing in Magnus' touch as his soft lips touch him, and his heart jumps with joy. “I love you so much…” He whispers again.

“I love you too…” Magnus whispers back, his lips still against his smooth skin.

Alec raises his arms again wrapping them around his neck wanting to pull him closer, then turns his head a little and kisses his cheek too. “So you won't kiss me today?” He whispers close to him.


	28. Sweet Dreams

“Still no.” Magnus grins. “I will kiss you when you're fully recovered.”

“Recover? What do you mean? I'm okay, I feel perfectly fine! See??” Alec stretches a little to prove his point.

“Stop.” He stops him before he hurts himself. “I meant once you're out of the Hospital, okay?”

“As you wish **_Mr.Bane._** ” He pouts.

“Uhhh, back to formalities? Bet you can do better, pretty boy.” Magnus teases.

“What are you betting my love?” Alec asks softly.

“Who knows…” He smiles mischievously.

Magnus’ smile makes him blush and he gulps. “ ** _I_** would love to know… But maybe, once I'm out, right?” He smiles nervously.

“That's right, sayang.” He wiggles his eyebrows.

He blushes even more. “If you keep this up I will get heart problems and they will keep me here longer you know…”

Magnus laughs. “Well, I don't want that… I'll stop then.”

“But I don't want you to stop…” The boy whispers looking into his eyes.

“Remember, heart problems.” He says, very serious.

“Some things are worth dying for…” Alec retorts enchanted, unable to look away.

“I don't agree… at all.” Magnus mutters.

“About what I said in general? Or about **_who_** I said it for?” He asks softly, frowning, and Magnus shakes his head.

“About what you said, silly boy.”

“Oh… ok then.” He just smiles. “Let's agree to disagree.”

He snorts. “Right. So… are you sleepy yet? I could sing to you if you want…”

Alec takes his hand again. “I… I don't want to lose you yet… But I also don't want to tire you by making you stay… You need to rest too… Promise me you will…”

“That's not what I mean… I wish I could stay but I'm sure that a nurse is gonna come in any moment now and kick me out. Also, Ragnor is probably waiting for me out there with a cup of cold coffee… “

“Oh…” He looks down. “I'm so sorry… I was being too selfish. You don't have to sing to me if you have to go… Please tell Ragnor I'm sorry he had to wait too…”

“It's my own fault… except it's not because Tessa sent him so… Nobody is at fault, okay? And I want to stay but I can't. You have your siblings here though, and I'll be back tomorrow.” He smiles softly.

“Okay… Uh… Magnus… could you do me one last favour please?”

“You already know my answer, Alexander.”

Alec smiles softly. “You know… I really hate my full name. But on your lips it sounds like music…” He shakes his head. “I'm sorry, I digress. Could you please ask when I can leave? And **_maybe_** convince them to let me go sooner??” He adds giving him his best puppy eyes.

Magnus snorts. “ ** _No way._** You had the accident a few hours ago. You were pretty lucky but still, you got a concussion, a few broken ribs and **_I myself_** are not gonna let them free you until they're completely sure that there's nothing wrong going on in your brain. Did I make myself clear?”

“Buuut…” He whines and then it occurs to him and his eyes widen. “Oh my God. And what about Raziel???”

He sighs, knowing **_that_** conversation was coming. “It's okay, I'll deal with it…”

Alec sighs too. “Is there time to find someone else? And why can't I be released? I really feel okay! It doesn't hurt at all!!”

“I'm not hiring someone else for that video clip, you'll be there. And, as I said before, you're not stepping out of here anytime soon. I'm serious.”

“But I don't want to hold you back… And it really doesn't hurt…” He lies averting his eyes.

**_“Bullshit.”_** Magnus frowns at him. “You know that I'm your boss and I can order you around, right?”

Alec pouts. “Yes…”

“There you have it then. Now, be a good boy… For me, okay?”

He sighs giving in. “How can I not, when you ask me like that? Only for you…” Sighs again, defeated. “I will do whatever you want.”

“Like what?” He smiles softly, taking one of his hands and sitting on the bed.

“Like that…” He answers, misinterpreting his question and smiles too leaning towards him. “Smiling like that, and looking so gorgeous that you make me forget to breathe…”

Magnus carefully pushes him back. “Your ribs…” He warns him before answering. “You look breathtakingly beautiful when you smile too.”

The boy blushes at the compliment and sighs letting him push him back to bed. “I'm okay, really you don't have to worry… I'm not made of glass. Thank you… though it is hardly true… I'm not beautiful…” He whispers, sighing again. “Especially not now.” With his free hand he absently touches his abdomen where there are stitches and a large scar caused by the accident. “Another one for my collection…” He sighs referring to the burn scar on his back, and shudders. “God… I'm… Why would you waste your time on something so scarred and broken? When **_you_** , are so flawless in every aspect?”

He puts a hand over Alec's. “You are beautiful to me… and to many others. You just don't see it. And I'm not in any way perfect, Alexander. You have no idea what I…” He shuts his mouth then, a thin line, and grimaces. He's not ready to tell him yet.

He's about to protest when he sees Magnus' expression and immediately forgets all about his problems. “Hey… What's wrong?”

Magnus shakes his head. “It's okay. You just need to worry about yourself…”

He looks at him sadly and reaches out to touch his face softly. “Magnus… You don't have to tell me if you don't want to…” He says mirroring his previous words. “I will wait forever for you too. Please don't be sad cielo… I love you… And I am sure that no matter what it is, it doesn't make you any less perfect…”

“I'm not.” He says vehemently. “But thank you… for being there for me. Now, get some rest. I'll come by later.”

“I…” He drops his hand and eyes fearing he upset him again. “Okay… I'm sorry…” He looks up at him one last time. “Goodbye…”

After a moment, he starts singing _"Living out your expectations"_ very softly, his eyes never leaving Alec's face.

“Thank you… I love you…” He whispers very low, not to disturb his song, reaching out to touch him one last time and then reluctantly closes his eyes. He doesn't want to sleep but Magnus has to go and it'd be selfish to keep him there.

Taking that hand, Magnus adds some words, like "sleep" and “I love you”s, here and there.

Alec smiles at the “love you”s and sighs letting go, finally falling asleep, with Magnus' hand in his and listening to his voice, happier than he had ever been before.

Once he finishes singing and sees Alec asleep, he leans in, kissing him on the forehead. “Sweet dreams, sayang…”

He sleeps peacefully, safe from his nightmares for now, blissfully dreaming of Magnus telling him he loves him again…


	29. A life-threatening situation

Once he's out of the room, before having glanced back to Alec one more time, he finds Ragnor sitting in the armchair he was previously on, holding the cup of coffee for him with a smirk.

"Everything okay? You took longer than expected."

“Expected by who?” He simply shrugs and Magnus takes the cup from his hand, grimacing when he gets a taste of it. Cold and bitter. Definitely not his favourite.

"Everyone."

“Including Alec's siblings?”

“Yeah… They went to get some coffee too. Guess they're a bit calmer after seeing Alec's condition.”

Magnus nods taking a sit next to Ragnor. “I am too.”

“Doesn't look like it. What are you worried about?”

“I… I confessed. Well, we **_both_** did.”

“Yeah? But that's a good thing, Mags! Why that long face?”

“I don't know, it's just… a feeling, you know? Something feels off.”

Ragnor hums looking at his right, some nurses passing by. “Maybe it's just that, a feeling. Don't sweat it. Alright?”

**~o~**

Izzy and Jace had gone for coffee and were returning when they heard Magnus' voice. “He's out!” Izzy hisses lowly holding Jace back before he can turn on the corner and making a shushing notion so he won't speak.

"Izzy what the Hell???" He whispers annoyed.

"Shut up!! I wanna listen!" She retorts and he does. They both stay there listening in silence. Izzy almost screams when she hears about the confession but holds back. Then there's a pause and they decide to appear. “Magnus!” She calls. “How's my brother?”

Magnus's startles when he hears his name all of a sudden but then smiles at the girl. “Good, he's… good. Sleeping now.”

She smiles brightly at him. “Great… Did he say anything? Does he need something?”

“No, not really… He just needs to rest and stay here for at least a week. Those ribs won't heal themselves.”

“Don't worry. She says. “My brother is tough.” A shadow passes over her eyes. “He's had much worse…”

Magnus hesitates to comment on it. “I… actually know. He told me…”

Both siblings stare at him in shock. “He told you? Alec, **_our_** Alec, actually **_talked_** about that??” Izzy says in disbelief.

Magnus flinches slightly. “Yeah, he did the night he crashed on my loft…”

Her eyes widen even more. “OH MY GOD, HE DID, WHAT????? WHY DID I NEVER HEAR OF THAT???”

He steps back a little. “Ah… I guess he forgot? I'm sure he wanted to tell you… Don't be mad at him.”

She calms down a bit but frowns. “How could he forget??? This is TOO important!!! I'm gonna kill him…”

“Actually… no, don't do that. I'm gonna need him for my new video clip so…”

She blinks. “Excuse me?”

Magnus hesitates and Ragnor clears his throat behind him “You… didn't know about the video clip from for my new song, Raziel? I thought you were a fan. At least Alec told me you were.”

Izzy freezes for a mere moment but then recovers and says. “Of course I did… I am. And now that you mentioned it, I want an autograph before you go… But what does Alec have to do with that?”

He chuckles. “Okay, okay. He… well, he's gonna be Raziel in the video clip. Didn't he tell you about that?”

She freezes, her mouth practically falling open, then without a word moves towards Alec's door.

Jace grabs her arm. “Where are you going?”

“To kill him.”

“Izzy…” Jace says warningly, raising an eyebrow.

“What?!" She snaps. “How could he not tell me?? For him, that's a Dr-”

“IZZY!” Jace cuts her off, glancing at Magnus. “Enough.”

She looks at Magnus too for a moment and then back at Jace. “ ** _Fine_** **.”** She says dropping her hand from the door handle and sitting on a nearby chair. “But he's still gonna get it later!!!”

Jace sighs and sits beside her, the crisis averted for now. “Relax…”

Magnus frowns at them, crossing his arms over his chest. “What was that about? Should I be worried…?”

Izzy gives him an ‘innocent’ smile. “Nothing!” Pause. “But you **_should_** be worried, I'm still thinking of killing him…”

“Please, refrain your homicide thoughts. I **_really_** need him.”

She looks at him, smiling sincerely this time, her eyes shining with joy. “You really do, huh? You really mean it…”

He bites his lower lip, blinking twice then dropping his eyes. “Yeah, I do…”

Izzy almost squeels with joy. “I'm SO happy!!!”

Magnus looks alarmed for a second before relaxing. “Okay… That's good, I guess.”

Ragnor just giggles.

It's her turn to bite her lip, peeking at Jace who is shaking his head. “Uh oh…” She whispers very low. “Said too much?”

“Yes!” He mouths and she makes a face, then shrugs and gets up.

“Anyway! Let's go see Alec!” Izzy changes the subject and turns to Magnus again. “Don't worry too much Mr.Bane. I will spare your assistant's life if he's really honest with me and tells me everything. I **_know_** what your video clips look like, after all…” She wiggles her eyebrows. “I'm a fan, remember?” She turns to a confused Jace again who has no idea what she's talking about as he has never seen the sexy scenes in any clip. “C'mon.”

Magnus grins. “I know… They're not appropriate for minor viewers.”

It's Jace's turn to speak while Izzy giggles. He stares at Magnus with wide eyes imagining who-knows-what. “What are you going to do to my brother? What do you mean minor viewers? How minor? Did he know before agreeing? You made him sign something?”

“Relax, blondie.” He smirks. “It's just a video clip… and I won't force him to do anything he doesn't want to.”

Said blondie frowns at him pouting at the name. “Whatever you say… You'd better be telling the truth.” He turns to Izzy. “Should we go?”

“Maybe you shouldn't, he fell asleep at last…” Magnus tries to stop them.

Izzy looks at him confused. “What do you mean ‘at last’? It's not like he can't sleep again after …”

He swallows, his eyes wide. “No, you're right. Yeah, hum… He's had trouble sleeping lately so…”

“He did?” She looks worried now. “I know nothing of that either…” She sighs sitting down.

“It must be the stress, don't worry about it. He'll be fine.”

“I guess… I'm glad there's someone else to watch over him now…” She whispers. “He never cares about himself…”

“I used to be like that too so I kinda get it.” He smiles a bit. “He'll be okay, Isabelle. I'm sure of it.”

Izzy looks at him, worried about him too. “Yeah… everything is going to be fine…” _‘As long as you two love each other.’_ She thinks but holds her tongue.

Magnus nods slowly, contemplating her for a minute. “Okay then, now I need to go. There are some… business demanding my attention.”

“Oh.” She gets up from the chair, suddenly acting more formal. “Okay… It was…nice, to meet you. I hope we meet again.” She smiles extending her hand to him while Jace nods his way as a goodbye.

He smiles back, taking her hand to kiss it. “The pleasure was all mine. Next time we see each other I'll have that autograph ready, don't even think I forgot.”

She beams at him, 'swooning' at the gesture. “Deal.”

“Fantastic.” He winks at her before glancing at the blonde guy. “Jace, was it?”

“Yeah?” He answers plainly.

“You take care of your family, they're amazing.” Magnus smiles then and turns around to where Ragnor is sitting. “Let's go, my weird friend.”

“I'm not weird. **_You_** are weird”

“Aha, of course.” Rolling his eyes, he walks away with Ragnor trailing behind him.

Jace nods swearing inside to do exactly that and mutters once Magnus is gone. “What a curious person our brother chose to love…”

Izzy giggles. “What a **_magnificent_** person. But I'm glad. Magnus does love him so much too…”

 


	30. Just a dream

Work, work and work. That's all he could do for the next two days. There wasn't time for resting or taking a little break to go see Alec as much as Magnus wanted to. Tessa informed him about Alec's condition regularly but it wasn't the same and Magnus was about to lose his mind.

When Alec woke up after the first day in the hospital he was convinced everything had been a drug-induced dream. What else could it be? It was too perfect to be true… And the fact that it had been days since he last saw or heard of Magnus only erased any doubts and hopes he may have had. Even the text message on his phone couldn’t convince him otherwise. On the contrary, now he was sure he had read too much into it. After all, if Magnus did love him, or even just like him, he would have at least called, right?

Izzy came to him the first day demanding answers about him sleeping over at Magnus' and about him staring in “Raziel”, but after seeing she was only making him depressed by asking about Magnus, she dropped it confused as to why he was sad, but not wanting to pressure him. And as she wasn’t supposed to know they confessed to each other, she decided to give him space.

**~o~**

"They're going to release Alec today." Tessa announces entering Magnus' office.

He raises his head, his eyes wide. “Are you sure? Isn't it too soon? The accident wasn't that bad but still…”

"Magnus, he's okay. You should go pick him up. He will be happy to see you after all these days without any contact…"

Magnus stops writing on his computer and sighs. “He won't. He'll be angry… or depressed. Maybe both. I'm… the worst.”

"You were working hard! He will understand, he always does. So, don't worry. Okay? Just go."

**~o~**

A nurse announces he will be able to leave today. He's happy he can finally be out but is feeling nervous. _'What about Magnus?'_ He thinks. He doesn't want to call him and ask if he should just go back to work. He doesn't want to bother him though he aches to talk to him, and would do anything to see him again. He missed him so much.

“Great.” Alec mutters burying his face on the pillow. “Just what I needed…” _'I already can't live without him… that won't end well…'_ He thinks.

Magnus ends up going, after another lecturing, this time from Ragnor. He isn't really sure at what time Alec will be released but he thinks it won't hurt to visit him before. Standing outside Alec's room, he braces himself and knocks on the door.

Just as he lays there despairing, he hears a knock on the door. “Leave me alone…” He grumbles not wanting to see anyone.

Biting his lower lip, Magnus decides to stay and let him know who it is. “It's me… Magnus? May I come in?”

_‘What?’_ His eyes widen and he gasps as he pulls himself upright hastily. “Yes!” He says quickly, his heart beating faster.

He enters the room carefully then, feeling a bit uneasy. Maybe Alec doesn't want him anymore. “Hey… How are you?”

“Hey…” He whispers, looking at him blushing. “I'm sorry about that… I'm okay… You? You look tired…” He frowns worried, noticing.

“I'm fine, I just… I've been working non-stop, to be honest. That's why I didn't come earlier.” He approaches the bed and goes for a kiss on his forehead but stops himself midway, waiting for Alec's rejection.

He stares up at him memories of his dream returning, making his heart beat even faster. “But you should rest…” He whispers unable to take his eyes off him wondering what he wants to do. “Don't push yourself so hard…”

Looking into Alec's eyes, and seeing uncertainty, makes Magnus' heart hurt. So he backs away slowly. “I won't… I'm fine… Tessa told me you're going to be release today, that's good news. I'm here to pick you up. If you want to come with me, that is.”

“Oh.” He pushes his worries aside for a bit and smiles at him. “Thank you… You shouldn't have troubled yourself… But of course I want to come… I…” He starts, then looks away. “I wasn't sure you needed me anymore…”

“I always need you, Alexander… Don't you dare think otherwise.” He whispers.

Alec freezes once more, his heart leaping at his words. “Am I still dreaming?” He mutters under his breath and then shakes his head returning to reality. _'He doesn't mean it like that, get a grip.'_ He scolds himself inwardly, before saying out loud. “I'm so sorry I was away so long… I'm supposed to help you…”

“You do help me though. These past two days thinking about you while working helped me endure it, so…” He smiles.

He is so enchanted by his smile that he forgets to even ask what he means by that. “I'm glad…” He smiles back, unable to conceal the love he feels for him. “But now that I will be back you should take a day, or a week off and really rest!”

“I don't think that's a good idea… There's too much to do. I can't just take a break whenever I want. I need to think about Bane Records first…”

“But you are more important!!” He says and then bites his lip, his eyes widening. “I… I mean… If there is no you there is not Bane records right? You have to take care of yourself…” He blushes. “I'm sorry for butting in…”

Magnus keeps himself silent for a moment, debating if he should voice his opinion or conceal. He does the second. “A day off it is then.”

Alec’s response smile is radiant as he looks at him. “Great!! I will do whatever you want while you rest so you won't have to worry about the company! There's not much I can do, but I want to help you all I can…”

Seeing Alec smile like that changes his mood right away. “I'll think about it…”

“Okay. But you already said you're taking a day off, no going back on it! Promise?” He asks looking up at him, biting his lip.

“You promised to be careful and look where you are now…” Magnus says, half joking* “But yeah, we have a deal.”

Alec pouts. “I'm sorry… it won't happen again.”

He shakes his head. “You're impossible…”

“I **_did_** tell you to fire me if I keep causing you trouble… I still don't get why you keep me.” He shrugs, then adds hastily. “Not that I mind of course.”

“Seriously, Alexander?” He raises both eyebrows in disbelief. “After what we told each other the other day…?”

He immediately thinks about the 'dream' but casts the thought hastily aside and looks at him confused. “W-what do you mean?”

Magnus pales. “You don't remember, do you…? Or perhaps you were just delirious and didn't mean what you said…”

“Remember… what?” 

> **_“I love you.”_ **

Magnus’ voice from the dream rings in his head but he knows it wasn’t real. _‘No… It can’t be… He can’t mean… That was a dream, just a dream… A beautiful perfect dream…’_ His thoughts are interrupted as he sees the look on Magnus’ face and asks, instantly worried. “Magnus, are you okay??? Sit down…” He moves aside reflexively making space for him to sit on the bed, wishing he would come closer too.

“No, I… need some fresh air. I'll be back in a few minutes… I… yeah.” Magnus retreats and quickly goes outside the room and the hospital itself.

Alec stares at Magnus' retreating form, feeling his heart ache. “What did I do to you this time?” He whispers burying his head in the pillow once more, wishing more than anything his dream had been true so he could take Magnus' sadness away…


	31. Letting go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! We have some "bad" news for you!! Not too bad, don't worry!! Read the whole note please!!!!!  
> Because we will be unable to RP for an unknown amount on time, (because Aeriel has some health issues with her eyes T_T and can't be on a computer screen long), and thus we won't be able to continue the story, we will update once a week so the story we have already written will "last" till we can start writing again!!  
> As I said before, don't worry!! There are at least 25-30 chapters till we run out! xDD

Outside, Magnus grabs his phone calling Tessa. “He doesn't remember” Magnus says once she accepts the call.

"What do you mean? Who is "he"?"

“Alec.”

"Okay… What is that he doesn't remember about?"

“The confession the other day.”

"Oh God, are you serious right now? How could he forget?"

“Perhaps… the drugs? I don't know, Tessa. I just… I'm not sure what to do, I feel like shit…” Magnus said, his voice cracking at the last word.

Tessa takes a deep breath and speaks very slowly. "Relax, Mags…Go back to his room and help him pack up his belongings. That's why you went there, remember? To pick him up. So just do it and then we'll figure out something later. How does that sound?"

“Good… Okay, I think I can do it… Thank you, Tessa, I don't know what I'd do without you.”

"Oh, you'd manage… but you're welcome."

**~o~**

Magnus comes back a few minutes later, still a bit shaken but more relaxed. He enters the room without knocking, a coffee cup on his hand. “I went for coffee, sorry. Are you feeling okay?” He asks after seeing him so down.

Alec raises his head from the pillow after hearing his voice. “Magnus…” He mutters looking at him, then sits up on the bed. _'No. Of course I'm not…'_ He thinks, but says; “Doesn't matter. Are **_you_** feeling better? Did I say something wrong again? I'm sorry…”

“It matters to me.” Magnus says before sitting on the bed. “Listen, how about I help you pack up your stuff?”

“Thank you…” He whispers not wishing to push him if he doesn’t want to talk about it, and getting up. “Okay then.”

“Or you could just… tell me what do you want me to pack up and I'll do it for you. If you're not fully recovered…”

Alec smiles. “You don't have to do that… I'm fine, really. It wasn't serious to begin with.”

“Still…” He sighs then, opening the wardrobe to pull out a suitcase and start packing.

“Magnus…” Alec sighs too, reaching out to touch his shoulder softly. “Hey… Please tell me what's wrong… What did I do to upset you **_this_** time?”

He shudders at the touch, nearly leaning to it but restrains himself. “You don't remember, and it's killing me inside.” _‘_ _Should I tell him…? I want to, but my heart is telling me not to. He has to remember for himself.’_

“I'm sorry…” He says feeling him shudder, and he pulls back his hand thinking he doesn’t want him to touch him. “Please tell me… What am I forgetting? I'm so sorry…” He whispers anguished, hearing Magnus say that, causing him pure pain.

“I can't… I'm sorry but I can't.” He mutters closing the suitcase. “Done. Do you have something in the bathroom?”

“No…” He whispers pained trying in vain to remember. “Let's go…”

“Alright. Then we wait until they release you. Won't be long…”

“Okay…” He sits down on the bed, looking at him. “Won't you sit?”

“Right.” Magnus sits in the armchair near the bed.

Alec looks away sighing, trying to hide the pain in his eyes because Magnus chose to not sit beside him. “Is that how it's going to be now? You don't want to tell me, I understand. But is there anything I can do? I can't just sit here making you suffer… Especially since I'm your assistant and you are forced to endure my presence every day…” He sighs again still looking away. “If you want me to go all you have to do is ask. No matter what you said about me being supposedly "precious" to you, if I'm causing you so much pain, I am worse than dead weight and should be cast away…”

“What would be the **_goddamn_** point if I tell you, huh? It's no use. You need to remember for yourself. And I'm going to ignore every stupid thing you just said because right now the last thing I need is having an argument about the best thing that happened to me, the very same you seem to have forgotten. I just… can't pretend I'm fine anymore.” Magnus looks away, pained.

Alec stares at him speechless, feeling his heart breaking, and gets up wanting nothing more than to hug him and comfort him. Instead, he walks past him, his fingertips barely brushing his cheek as he passes by. “I'm really sorry…” He whispers again and opens the bathroom door. “I wish I could remember…” He enters the smaller room and closes the door behind him, sinking to the floor against it, burying his face in his hands. He can't stop thinking of his dream. A voice in his head whispers, _‘What if it wasn't a dream? What if this is what I’m forgetting?’_ But he casts it away. _‘It's impossible.’_ “I'm so sorry…” He chokes out once more, lowly.

Magnus gets shocked by the gesture, trying hard to hold back the tears, wishing things were different. Not falling in love with Alec would have made their lives easier. Could he go back now? Go back to the beginning when they met, with Magnus being his fabulous and flirty self, and Alec being that beautiful, innocent and happy boy. He was making him miserable by imposing his feelings. He needs to put a stop to this. It would break him but, what else can he do?

Alec wraps his arms around his knees curling in on himself, the pain in his heart unbearable. The gesture causes a sharp pain to shoot through his ribs and he gasps, his breath faltering as his body shakes from tearless sobs while he tries to calm down.

He closes his eyes, counting to ten. He can do it. It's not as if it didn't happened before. Camille was his first, then Matt… Now Alec. Even when they didn't even kiss once. Maybe he should have done it that day. No… He's not like that. He'd never take advantage of anyone. Much less of Alec. He deserves better. Not broken Magnus but a better man… or woman. He doesn't even know anymore. But Alec's sister said… She was convinced. How? What does she know that Magnus doesn't? Taking a shuddering breath, he opens his eyes then, determined to put an end to his own feelings. Standing, he walks to the bathroom's door and knocks. “Alec, are you okay in there?” _‘I_ _had to call him Alec, not Alexander. Is this really the end…?’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And just to hurt you a little bit more, here's a little extra! *evil smile*  
> Alec's answer thought to Mags' part, "He deserves better. Not broken Magnus but a better man… or woman." if Alec could hear his beloved's thoughts, would be a pained: "There's noone better than you in this wretched world..."


	32. Sadness and Sorrow

The boy draws a shuddering breath. “Y-yeah… I-I'm f-fi-ne…” He pieces out with effort and gets up, his body and soul in pain. _‘I beg of you don't give up on me…’_

“You don't sound fine at all. Let me see you.” Magnus says softly, his expression closed up.

Alec takes another breath and opens the door, wrapping his arms around himself trying to keep it together. _'It hurts…'_

Magnus frowns. “Does it hurt? The ribs? You should have told me. I can call a nurse…”

“No… It's not that. Please don't… I don't want to stay here anymore… I wanna go home…” He whimpers softly, his control slipping. _'It hurts…'_

“Okay, I'll take you home.” He reassures him, wanting to touch but afraid of doing so at the same time. “I'll go ask for your discharge papers. Sit, meanwhile.”

He looks at him, his blue eyes bleary by unshed tears and does as he's told, sitting on the bed slowly. _'I can't take this…'_ He thinks. _'I can stand my own pain, but yours… Yours is killing me…'_

 _‘God, it's harder than I thought it would be…’_ Magnus thinks once he's outside the room. _‘But I'm doing it just for him, for Alexander I'd do anything.’_ At that very moment a nurse passes by and Magnus stops her. “Excuse me, my friend is getting discharged today and I wanted to ask for the papers to sign because he wants to go now.”

"Oh, of course. They'll be ready in a minute. What is the patient's name?"

“Alexander Lightwood.”

"Alright… I'll look into it"

“Thank you.” He smiles at her and goes back to the room, finding Alec in the same position. Trying to keep the smile, he says. “Done. A nurse will be coming with the papers soon. And then tomorrow we'll have a day off .” _‘So I can go back to my past self…_ _So I can forget about my feelings for you.’_

Alec nods, his eyes unseeing and then takes another breath to pull it together, and gets up slowly, untangling his hands, wincing slightly as he does so. “Thank you, Magnus… I'm sorry for everything… ”

He nods tensely. “I'm your boss and you're my precious assistant, right? It's the least I can do.”

He smiles a sad smile. “Right… and since I am that, the least I can do is make sure you're okay too… So, you will take your day off and on that day I will try to resolve most of the things that worry you. ”

“Come on, you think I'd be here today if I hadn't done everything I had to at work? It's done. So you'll take the day off as well. Sleeping in your bed for a day will be good for you.” He smiles back. “That's an order, by the way.” He grins. _‘_ _Little by little…’_

 _'I wish you could sleep there with me too…'_ “Your wish is my command Mr. Bane.” He smiles too, albeit weakly, trying to joke like they did before. “Magnus… I know I have no right to order you around, but would you please do the same? You are working too hard…” _‘Little by little you're tearing my soul to pieces…’_

Joking around helps to lift his mood as he chuckles. “Yeah, okay. I'll rest tomorrow.”

Smiles a little more genuinely at that, his pain lessening ever so slightly. “Thank you…”

Magnus simply shrugs. “It's one of the things we talked about the other day… And I always keep my promises.”

“Magnus, I…” He reaches out to touch him and then realises what he's doing and drops his hand and eyes hastily. “I promise. I will remember.” He whispers loud enough. “I swear I will… please forgive me…”

His throat constricted, he tears his eyes away. “It's okay, you don't need to. I'm over it now.” _‘_ _It doesn't hurt. Not a bit. I can do it…’_

“No. I can see how important it was and I'm so sorry… I will remember it no matter what. I refuse to keep disappointing you.”

“Stop it.” He says a bit more harshly than he intended to. “I don't care anymore. Just drop it and move on.”

Alec gasps softly, baling his trembling hands into fists. “I'm sorry.” He drops his eyes unable to face him, barely holding back the tears threatening to fall. _‘_ _It hurts… it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts…’_

He's about to apologize for being so cruel to him when a nurse enters the room with the discharge papers in hand, ready to be signed by Alec. Once he does so, Magnus grabs the suitcase walking to the door. “Let's go then, I'm taking you home.”

“Okay…” Alec whispers not looking up again. He wants to help with the stuff but he doesn't dare talk to him again lest he makes him angry once more. So he just follows Magnus without a word, feeling his heart break anew.

Once they reach Magnus' car, he opens the passenger's door for Alec before going to the driver side and getting in. _‘_ _I'm determined to ignore the pain. I'm good at it._ _’_

“Thank you…” Alec mutters, tangling his hands together tightly, trying to stop them from shaking, his nails almost drawing blood. _‘_ _Please don't hate me…’_


	33. Please don't go...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello~ We forgot to mention it last time, but as we said two chapters ago, we will update once a week from now on, every Thursday, until further notice! ^_^

While Magnus drives, he glances at Alec from time to time, worried. Then puts his phone in the Bluetooth car device and calls Tessa. She answers right away.

"Tessa speaking, what can I do for you?"

“It's me, I need a favor.”

"Okay. Is it about Alec?"

“Well, yeah…” He glances at Alec one more time before adding, “This time is a bit different. Can you call his sister, Isabelle, and tell her to go to Alec's loft? He needs her.”

"No problem"

“Thank you. I'll see you the day after tomorrow, I'm taking a day off.”

"Oh, that's… new."

“Yeah…” He sighs taking a turn to the left.

"But it's good for you. After what happened with the confes-"

“Okay, Tessa, I'm… okay. We'll talk later. I'm hanging up.”

"Alrig-"

He does before she's done talking, feeling a bit bad for doing so but he couldn't risk it anymore. _‘Talking about being professional and the first breaking that rule was me. So stupid…’_ He thinks.

Hearing his name while Magnus talks, Alec looks up surprised, turning his eyes on him, just as Magnus is looking his way too. Their eyes meet briefly and then Alec drops his head again, but not before noticing that Magnus looks… worried? Before he has time to wonder, Magnus goes on, asking Tessa to call Izzy. _‘Why? I don’t need anyone…’_ Alec thinks. _‘Anyone but you…’_ And then he hears another thing that makes his head snap up so fast he’s feeling dizzy for a second.

**_“confes-”_ **

_‘What???’_ Tessa was about to say something but Magnus stopped her, practically hanging up on her face. “It was a dream…” He mutters, lowly to himself, stunned. “Right? It couldn’t have been true…”

“I know you're dying to get home, we're already there.” Magnus says after a few minutes of silence.

Magnus’ voice pulls him out of his confused thoughts and he turns to look at him. “I don’t…” He says lifelessly. _‘Since that means you will leave again…’_ “And I don’t really want to see Izzy…”

“I thought you wanted to go home…” Magnus is a little bit confused. “And you look like you need your sister.”

“That bad, huh?” Alec laughs mirthlessly. “No… I don't want to go home, not really… I just wanted to leave this place… And I don’t need her…”

_‘All I need is you… But I can never have_ **you** _…’_

“I… I can’t burden her with my problems… I have to be strong… I’m supposed to be her big brother… I can’t let her down **_too_**.” _‘Like Max…’_ He winces, then shakes his head sighing. “I’m really sorry you had to see that too…” He refers to breaking down at Magnus’ loft. “Normally my control is perfect, I don’t know what happened to me…”

_‘That’s a lie…’_ Alec thinks. _‘I know perfectly well… You’re destroying my facades without even trying… And it’s getting harder and harder to lie to you…’_

“Alright… You can get rid of her once we get there, if you really don't want her to see you like that. But I still think that you need someone by your side.” ‘ _I wouldn't mind if that "someone" was me but I'm pretty sure you don't want me…’_ Magnus thinks to himself, then sighs.

He looks at him, longing to tell him he's the one he wants. To beg him to stay _. 'But I can't do that… He can't even look at me. I'm just annoying and upsetting him…'_ “She's not the one I need…” He mutters, wishing for neither the first nor the last time that he could tell Magnus the truth.

Not hearing him, Magnus looks lost in his thoughts. “I liked you more when you were in that hospital bed, pleasing me by telling me how much you wanted me… Was that all a lie?” He mutters under his breath taking a turn to the right; they were too close to Alec's loft.

The boy freezes staring at him, unable to believe what he thinks he heard. Magnus' voice was too low anyway. “What?” He chokes out.

_'There is no way, it didn't happen, that would mean he loves me, but he can't love me, how could he?'_ His thoughts are a mess. _‘Maybe I_ **did** _die at this accident and still haven't realised… Limbo is surprisingly painful…’_

“Okay, we're here.” Slowing the car, he parks it near the building.

Alec looks at him wondering if he didn't hear or just ignored his question. “Thank you.” He says finally.

Magnus turns to look at him and regrets it right away.  “You're welcome…” His voice breaks a bit.

The pain is back in his beloved’s eyes and it's unbearable. “Hey… Will you be okay?” He whispers looking into his eyes, and unable to hold back anymore, he reaches out to him, barely touching his hand with the tips of his fingers.

He looks down at Alec's hand touching his own, thinking that he must be looking awful or something for him to care that much. “I always am…” He lies. “The real question here is, will you?”

“Don't lie…” He mutters able to see the pain too clearly. And then he smiles sadly and lies too. “I always am too…”

“Right…” His thumb caresses Alec's hand before pulling away. “Come on, I'll help you carry the suitcase up.”

He sighs softly, but this time in relief as even that small touch takes his pain away a little. “Okay…” He whispers still looking deeply into his eyes, trying to memorise everything about him, knowing he will miss him unbearably soon.

Magnus swallows hard wanting nothing more but to kiss him. Finally, gets out of the car taking the suitcase off the trunk a second later. “Do you have your keys?”

“I… uh… do I?” He completely forgot. He searches his pockets and finally finds them. “Oh. I do.” He unlocks the door. “Magnus, I'm okay now, don't carry that alone…” He says extending his hand his way.

Fighting the "want" to take his hand instead of giving him the suitcase, he shakes his head and goes inside.

“Stubborn.” Alec says following him in. “ ** _I'm_** your assistant remember? Not the other way round.”

“And you're hurt, remember? Not the other way around.” He answers back.

Alec sighs, smiling a little. “So, so stubborn… And I'm not hurt anymore!!!” He says again. “I'm fine.”

Magnus shrugs stubbornly, leaving the suitcase in the living room.

_'He's going to leave…’_ Alec thinks desperately. _‘Please don't go…'_

 


	34. Anything to make you smile

“Hey… Uh… Magnus… Do you…” Alec clears his throat to stop stuttering. “Do you want to stay for a drink or something?” He adds hastily before his nerves get the better of him. _'Of course he doesn't. Stupid.'_ A voice in his head answers for him as he watches Magnus, blushing, his heart beating rapidly, waiting for his answer. _‘Oh God, what am I doing??’_

Magnus raises an eyebrow at that, taken by surprise. “Are you asking me because I'm your boss and you want to get on my good side or there's another reason?”

“What? No, of course not! I… I just…” He trails off, barely stopping himself from speaking his thoughts aloud. _'I love you… I love you… I love you so much… Please stay…'_

“I guess… I could stay for a bit to keep you company until your sister gets here.” He scratches his neck awkwardly.

Alec sighs dejected. _'Of course he doesn't want to be here… What was I thinking?'_ “I'm sorry…You don't have to stay just to be nice… I understand you wouldn't want to be here… Don't force yourself…”

“I'm not, trust me… I-” He gets interrupted by Alec's cat nuzzling at his legs. “Oh, hey, Gabriel… How are you, pretty?” Magnus bends down to stroke the cat's back. “Did you miss your owner? Of course you did…”

Alec smiles softly watching them both. “Well he’s not snuggling up to **_me_** , is he?” He chuckles softly. “It seems like he missed **_you_** more.” _‘And who am **I** to blame him? Like owner, like pet…’_ “Little traitor.”

“Nah, it's just that I have a cat too… He must smell him on me. Maybe they could be good friends.”

“Yeah…” Alec smiles, still watching Magnus, unable to take his eyes off. “Chairman is adorable, they should meet…” He says before realising what that entitles.

Magnus shrugs grinning, thinking, _‘Anything to make you smile, my angel…’_ But he says instead. “Whenever you want.” _‘I still want him but having him this close to me helps with the pain… It recedes a bit.’_

The boy blushes, smiling too. “Okay. I will look into your schedule and let you know.” He says trying to lighten the mood.

“My home is always open to you.” _‘As well as my heart.’_

“Mine too…” _'Just like my heart…'_ He unknowingly mirrors Magnus' thoughts.

“I'm glad.” The older man smiles softly, then adds. “You know what? I'll take that drink. I'm a bit thirsty, haven't drank anything since I had breakfast at seven.”

His eyes widen. “What?!? Magnus, it's noon! Oh my god…” He exclaims, his protective side kicking in. “Sit down please, I will be right back.” He rushes to the kitchen putting a glass of juice and another of water, then orders some uni from a Chinese restaurant down the street, and some sushi for himself. He puts the glasses on a tray to take them to him.

Magnus takes the glass pleased. “Thank you, you didn't need to…”

“Of course I did. You need to take better care of yourself… Drink both.” He says softly, sitting on the table facing the couch Magnus is sitting on.

“Both…? Why both?”

“Because you must be dehydrated! Unless you don't like juice of course… In which case I can bring you more water.”

“No! Ahm… Juice is good, thanks.” He smiles sipping at it.

Alec smiles too, watching him. “Normally when someone says "drink" they mean alcohol, but I'm not bringing you any in the middle of the day… Especially since you haven't eaten anything.”

“I don't want alcohol… Do I look like I need it or what?” Magnus jokes.

He blushes. “Of course not! That's not what I meant! I’m sorry.”

“Relax, Alexan- Alec.” Magnus mentally scolds himself. “I was just joking.”

He blushes more. “I know… but still… I…” He is interrupted by the buzzer, and jumps on his feet. “Oh!! It's here! Excuse me.” He says before running off to get the door.

“Isabelle…?” Magnus mutters thinking it may be the girl. “Seems like he wants to get rid of **_me_** instead…” He sighs getting up, ready to go.

Alec quickly gets the food thanking the delivery guy and goes back to Magnus, a big smile on his face, thinking this might make him happy. “I'm back! Sorry about this.”

He looks at the bag Alec's holding taken aback. “Wasn't that Isabelle…?”

“Nope.” He says still smiling. “Why are you up?”

“I thought…”

“Thought what?” Alec asks concerned seeing his expression. “You don't have to go, do you?” He says, his smile faltering.

“No, it's not that.” Magnus raises both hands to reassure him. “I thought it was her and well… But, what do you have in there?” He points to the bag.

“Oh…” He smiles again, softly. “A surprise for you.”

His eyes brighten at that. “A surprise? I love surprises. What is it? Can I see?”

“Of course.” Alec smiles warmly, happy to see him looking cheered up. “It's for you after all. Give me a moment.” He goes into the kitchen, picks up his best plate and serves the uni on it, bringing it back to him. “Since you couldn't enjoy it last time because of me…” He trails off before presenting the plate to him.

“Is that… Uni?” His eyes widen at the sight. “I- I don't know what to say… Thank you?”

“No need to thank me.” Alec smiles at him offering him the plate. “It's nothing much.” _‘Anything to make you smile_ my love…’ He thinks.

“It is.” Magnus smiles taking the plate to start eating, making some satisfied noises meanwhile.

“Bon appetit.” The boy sits back watching him, a soft smile on his face, the pain in his heart finally lessening. _'I can't have you but as long as you are happy and I can see you, I will survive…'_

“Mm… so good. Don't you want any?” He offers.

“I don't like uni. But you really make me wonder every time you praise it so much.” Alec chuckles. “I could try…”

Magnus smirks then, holding out the fork for him. “Be my guest.”

He blushes crimson and slowly leans forward his blue eyes intent on Magnus' golden-green ones, while the singer wiggles his eyebrows, clearly having fun.

Alec blushes even more and hastily takes the bite held out for him. Then makes a disgusted face. “Ugh. I knew it was bad!”

Magnus giggles, eating the rest of the Uni that was still on the fork. “You just don't know how to appreciate good things.”

He blushes looking at him eating the rest of the bite and then regains him composure. “Oh really?” He smirks.

“Aha~” He smirks back, pleased that he didn't lose his "touch".

“So I guess "Raziel" is not "good" huh?” Alec keeps teasing. “Since **_I_** liked it…” _‘ **Loved** it… Almost as much as I love **you** …’_

Magnus shrugs. “That's your opinion, babe.”

His heart skips a beat at that and he keeps on blushing. “It's- it's my opinion too that uni is awful…” He stammers.

“Mmmm… Okay. Too bad though. I'd have loved to share more with you.”

Alec bites his lip looking at him. “Yeah. Too bad…” He smiles, knowing Magnus won't believe he means it.

He swallows hard at the gesture, tearing his eyes right away and clearing his throat. “Yeah…”

“So…” The boy says hastily, before awkwardness can descent upon them. “Do you want me to bring you anything else?”

“No, I'm fine. Thank you.” Magnus smiles.

“Okay…” He smiles too, watching him. It’s so easy to smile when Magnus is there.  “Oh… Magnus?”

“Yeah?” He looks back at him.

“What about Raziel? Did you get in more trouble because of me?”

“Not really. We'll start filming in a few weeks, if you're well enough of course.”

“Oh… I am, of course I am, but…” He touches his eyebrow where there is a scar from the accident. “Are you sure? I'm…” He swallows dropping his eyes, feeling a lump in his throat.

Without thinking Magnus reaches to touch the scar, muttering at the same time. “That's only a scar… A **_sexy_** one…”

His heartbeat speeds up at his touch as he looks enchanted at him, his cheeks red. “You really love messing with me, don't you?”

“Let's say… I just **_love_**.”

“ ‘Love…’ what?” Alec asks breathlessly remembering the dream once again, wishing nothing more than it to be true.

“Love y-” Before Magnus finishes the word, the strident sound of a text breaks the moment. “I'm sorry…” He hurries to grab his phone, opening the sms app.


	35. Do not take your eyes off me

The SMS reads. **_"It seems like Isabelle is busy today so she won't be able to go to Alec's loft. I'm sorry. –Tessa."_**

Alec stares frozen at Magnus, while he reads the message, still thinking of the man’s last words, having a “deja-vu” feeling. _'No… he couldn't mean…'_

“Okay… So, your sister can't come.”

“Oh… ok.” Alec mutters, still stunned.

“That means you'd have to stay here alone. Unless…”

“Unless?” He asks, looking at him hopefully.

“Unless you have someone else in mind to stay with you tonight.”

“I…” He blushes again, wondering how could he ask him, while Magnus looks at him expectantly. “Do you… I mean… Would you…” Alec looks away again embarrassed and stops talking.

“If you want me to stay, just say it. It'd be my pleasure.” Magnus says.

His blue eyes widen as he looks up at him. “Really?? I…I mean… why? I'm sure you have better things to do…”

“Like being bored in my own loft? I can be bored here.”

Alec chuckles. “As I'm sure you will be… But you mean to tell me that the Magnificent Magnus Bane has nothing better to do on his day off?”

“ ‘Magnificent’, huh? I like it.” He wiggles his eyebrows. “But yeah. I usually don't have days off but when I do, I just watch some fashion shows.”

He chuckles again. “So… would you really like to stay?”

“Yeah, you stayed at my loft once so… you owe me.” Magnus winks at him. “But you will have to lend me some things.”

“O-of course… W-whatever you want…” The boy mumbles looking at him.

“Something to sleep on, for example~”

“Oh.” _'Magnus in my clothes…'_ He thinks, his heart racing once more, his cheeks now permanently stained red. “Of course… Once you're done eating you should come choose what you want… though all my clothes would probably be too dreadful and "unfashionable" for you, sorry…”

“I'm done already!” He says cheerfully, getting up. “Show me your wardrobe.”

He is taken by surprise, suddenly being too close to him. “This way…” He says, leading him to his room. “You're going to freak out so much…” He laughs softly, to hide his anxiety. “You can run away anytime you want by the way…” He adds, really wishing he won’t.

Magnus follows him, his hands inside the jeans' pockets. “I'm not going to run away. I don't run. Ever.”

“Walk away then. Quickly. Terrified by my dreadful clothes.” He chuckles, his laugh more real now.

He chuckles too. “They suit you though.”

“I thought you hated them…” He says turning to look at him, a little surprised.

“For me. But they look good on you.” He shrugs.

“Because they match me.” He smirks. “They're tattered and frayed just like me…”

Magnus huffs in annoyance. “I swear to God, my tastes are terrible these days… Show me the clothes already, Project Runway is about to start.”

He cranes his head to the side confused. “What? Oh, okay, sorry. Here.” He opens the closet door looking at him to see his reaction.

“It's not that bad…” The older man says slowly while looking inside. “If you have some sweatpants and a t-shirt, lend them to me.”

Alec chuckles looking at him. “I'm so sorry you have to go through that.”

“I've seen worse, trust me. You see Ragnor? I taught him how to dress.”

“Poor Ragnor.” Alec laughs. “Does that mean I'm next in line? Do you do that to all your employees?” He smiles playfully.

“I'm not proud to admit it but I usually don't spare them a single look. But you… you're different.” Magnus smiles tenderly at him.

“Different… how…?” Alec whispers looking into his eyes, mesmerised once more, his heart fluttering because of his idol’s tender smile.

“Just… different.” He shrugs grabbing some random clothes. “Where's the bathroom? I need to change into these.”

He snaps out of it. “Oh. Here, sorry.” He says leading him to another door. “Please let me know if you need anything else.”

Magnus nods. “Do you have another toothbrush?”

“Yeah, wait a second.” The boy enters the bathroom rummaging the drawers for a minute before finding a green one. He smiles giving it to him. “It almost matches your eyes…” _‘Though that color is nowhere near as perfect…’_

He bites his lower lip, pleased by the sudden comment. “Thank you, Alexander.”

Alec stares at his lip barely holding himself back from kissing him and then smiles. “Y-you, you're welcome…”

“For everything, not just for this.”

“You don't need to thank me… I didn't do anything…”

“You did, more than you think… Now, please.” The singer points at the door. “Unless you want to watch me change.”

 _‘Oh I do…’_ Alec thinks, watching Magnus’ grin and then gets a grip and blushes running to the door. “I'm sorry!! Take your time…” He calls, going outside.

Magnus laughs openly at his reaction, then proceeds to get changed. He doesn't really like the clothes, black sweatpants and grey t-shirt but there's nothing he can do about it. Once he's ready, he brushes his teeth and goes outside. “Done~”

Suddenly Alec’s phone rings and the boy freezes in panic. It is Izzy’s ringtone which is one of Magnus’ songs. He literally jumps and runs to get it from the coffee table but stumbles upon his own feet and lands on the floor. “Ugh…” He mutters reaching out for it and getting it at last. “Yeah?”

Magnus has never seen a man run that fast before. Winking a few times, he walks to the living room, eyes wide at the vision of Alec on the floor. “Oh my God, are you okay?” He asks, hurrying to help him stand.

“Izzy, give me a moment I will call you back.” Alec says on the phone and hangs up, then turns to Magnus while still on the floor. “I'm fine don't worry.” He chuckles. “That happens all the time.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Seriously? Aren't you hurt? You just got discharged from the hospital… Be more careful, please.”

“It's okay, the carpet broke my fall. I'm fine.” He nervously takes the hand extended to him, letting Magnus help him up. “Thank you…” He whispers looking at him, suddenly finding it harder to breathe.

“If you're sure…” Magnus whispers back, pulling him up.

Alec stumbles again almost falling into his arms but **_unfortunately_** regains his balance. Magnus is still standing very close though, and the boy craves to eliminate the distance between them, as he looks up at him.

Magnus does not dare to even wink, he’s just looking deeply into his breathtakingly blue eyes. God, how much he's dying to hold him and kiss him. Instead, he whispers. “I heard it, you know…?”

“Heard… what…?” Alec whispers back, unable to look away either, from his gorgeous emerald eyes.

“The ringtone… Seems like you didn't lie that day.” He looks down at Alec’s mouth then.

Without thinking about it, Alec finds himself leaning closer. “The what?” He barely hears Magnus’ previous words, too drunk in his presence. “Lie? When? I…”

His hands are aching to touch him but he stays still. “The ringtone… My song? You said that you loved my music… in the hospital.”

“I do…” He whispers lost in his eyes, and then everything clicks suddenly and his own eyes widen. “I’m sorry!!” He jumps away, turning his back on him embarrassed while thinking. _‘Wait, when? When did I say that? Why does he know? He’s going to send me away now… No…’_

Looking at his back, Magnus fears that he may have lost him, so he closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, opens them again and starts singing, in a soft tone. _**“Turn around, do not take your eyes off me. I'm the snake, the apple, the sin… Try me and you will never ever be the same. Babe, just turn around and kiss me…”** _ He adds, his heart racing on his chest.


	36. First Kiss

Alec’s eyes widen when hearing him sing, a shiver running through his body, as he feels his heart hammering to his chest. And then he hears the last part that isn’t in the original song; **_“Babe, just turn around and kiss me…”_** and he loses it. He turns and looks at Magnus, lost into his enchanting eyes once more, and then before he can think about it, he takes a step closer and grabs his shirt to pull him against him and kisses him.

Magnus stumbles at first but then he finds the balance and kisses him back, hard and a bit messy. It's nothing perfect, it's even bad. But Magnus couldn't be happier. Because it's Alec kissing him. Alec's mouth on his. So he simply closes his eyes and enjoys the moment.

Alec kisses him with abandon, pouring all of his desperation and love and longing into it. It was all he wanted to do for so long. After a while he pulls back to breathe and suddenly as he looks into his eyes again, the gravity of the situation descends on him, full force and he gasps. _'What did I do?'_ “I-I'm s-so sorry!” He stutters, bringing a hand over his mouth, his blue eyes wide. “I'll go change!” He says and runs away to his room.

Magnus stays there in shock, mostly because he doesn't know why Alec acted like that. “Doesn't he love me? He said so in the hospital. But he was drugged... He probably just meant he liked me... Maybe he thought he was talking to someone else…? No, it can't be. He knew it was me, he talked about my songs lulling him to sleep with so much passion… He likes me but he's afraid of something. I must find out what.” Determined, he goes to Alec's room and knocks at the door. “Alexander? Get out of there.”

Alec has his back against the closed door, one hand still over his lips as he stares into nothing, shocked by his own actions. _‘What did I do? Oh my God… He's going to hate me now, for sure…’_ And then he hears the knock and Magnus’ voice. He slowly turns and opens the door his hands trembling, and whispers unable to face him. “I’m sorry…” _‘Please don’t send me away…’_

“Why are you sorry? It was a nice kiss.” Magnus grins. “Are you going to stay in there all night? That'd make you a bad host.”

Alec looks up surprised by his nonchalant words, but then drops his eyes again. “I-I'm s-sorry… I… I thought you'd be disgusted. That you'd want to send me away…”

“You thought wrong. You're pretty much tied to me, sorry.”

He looks up at him again, his cheeks flushed and breathing labored. _'If only…'_ He thinks, wishing nothing more than to be tied to him. He gathers all his self-control and smiles, trying to act cool. “If that's the case, I really feel sorry for you.”

“I prefer to call myself ‘lucky’.” Magnus winks at him, going back to the living room and sitting on the couch.

He follows him silently wondering where he should sit, wishing to sit beside him but not wanting to push his luck. Finally he decides against sitting down at all, and asks. “Do you want me to make you some coffee?” While waiting for his answer, he leans down to get the remote and hands it to him since he said he wanted to watch a fashion show.

“You're not my assistant today… though I'd like some coffee, yeah, and for you to sit here with me, in this couch.” He says casually taking the remote and turning the TV on.

“But I'm your host as you said, right?” He smiles, relieved he got an answer to his inner struggle. “So, how do you drink your coffee?”

“Fine.” Magnus smiles back. “With milk and two spoons of sugar. Sometimes I take it with caramel sauce but I doubt you have any so…”

“Wanna bet?” Alec smirks and heads to the kitchen. He makes Magnus' coffee with extra care wanting it to be perfect, and adds caramel sauce in the end, that he **_did_** have, cause Izzy loves it too. He makes himself a cup too and heads back offering one to Magnus. “Here you go…” He then sets his own cup on the table, and sits beside him, trying to play it cool, even though his heart is racing because of the proximity once again.

Taking the cup, Magnus sips at it straight away. “Did you have caramel sauce…? Wow, you're a box full of surprises.” He smiles delighted. “It's delicious, thank you.”

He chuckles. “You've said that before… Izzy likes it so…” He explains before asking. “Is the coffee really okay?”

“Because you are.” He shrugs taking another sip. “It's really good, I like it sweet.”

“I've told you before, I'm really nothing special…” He blushes looking away. “I'm glad you like it…”

“I'm sorry but I don't pay attention to stupid comments so.” Magnus begins zapping until he finds the fashion show.

Alec pouts, sticking his tongue out to him in a moment of great maturity.

“Like that.” He teases nudging him with an elbow.

The boy smiles but says nothing, settling beside him, watching. The show Magnus is watching is about clothes and models, and Alec is bored to oblivion, looking at the Tv but not really seeing it. He keeps thinking of the kiss, of the way Magnus' lips felt against his and all he wants is to do it again, but he knows he can't. Magnus said he didn't mind but that doesn't mean anything. It is actually kinda worse than if he had shouted at him. Now it seems it was so unimportant to him that he just brushed it off. _'But…He kissed me back…'_ He thinks absently touching his lips with the tips of his fingers, his heart picking up its pace again, confused because of Magnus' almost impatient kiss. _'You're thinking too much into it…'_ He chastises himself. _'It's not like you know what a kiss normally feels like…'_ He sighs softly, dropping his hand and turns his attention on Magnus instead, his beautiful features much more interesting than the boring show.

Project Runaway isn't as interesting as it should be, it isn't getting Magnus' attention. Mostly because his mind is full of Alec's mouth on his. Absently, he licks his lips glancing at Alec. The boy looks as bored as him, lost in thoughts even. “What are you thinking about…?” He asks suddenly, breaking the comfortable silence.

Magnus looks at him licking his lips and he can't help but stare mesmerised. “Is this… what it's supposed to feel like?” He asks before thinking about it.

“What do you mean?” The singer asks puzzled.

Alec snaps out of it, realising what he said. “I…” He bites his lip nervously before admitting in a low voice. “I'd never kissed anyone before…” He blushes looking at him through his dark lashes.

“Was that your first kiss?” If he's surprised is mostly because the boy is gorgeous and he cannot believe he was so lucky to get to be his first kiss.

He blushes even more averting his eyes, toying with the hem of his shirt. “Yeah…”


	37. Whatever you want

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You lot didn't seem awfully excited about the kiss... Guess they shouldn't do it again... *insert evil smiley*

“Okay…” Magnus mutters slowly. “What did you feel, kissing me?”

Alec stares at him panicking, his blue eyes widening. “I… I…wh- what does it matter?”

“It was your first kiss, it **_does_** matter. Right?” Magnus stares back.

“No it doesn't…” He mutters looking down again, his face impossibly red. _‘It was heavenly…’_ He thinks. _‘It was a breath of fresh air after suffocating… But how could I tell you that?? It was like seeing the sun after a thousand nights… Like rain after the drought… Like-’_

“It does, and I'm curious.”  Magnus pushes him, his words pulling him out of his sappy daydreaming. “It was good for me. I mean, it was kind of… messy. But ultimately good.”

“I liked it…” He whispers the understatement lowly and hides his face into his hands. “I'm sorry… I don't know what's gotten into me…”

“Why are you so ashamed? Is it because it was with me? Maybe you were keeping it for someone else…?” Magnus asks sounding jealous. He was feeling jealous as well.

“What?” Alec looks up at him with a sudden movement wondering briefly why does he sound jealous when he couldn't possibly be. Not about **_him_** … “No! Of course not, I L-” He bites his lip so hard he draws blood and stops himself from saying it. “I… I mean… I…” _‘Kissing you was a dream come true…’_ “I overstepped my boundaries again, big time. I don't get how you didn't hate it… And me…” He adds lower.

“Again with the hate?” Magnus sighs loudly, running a hand through his hair. “For fuck's sake, this is getting ridiculous… First of all, I kissed you back. Second, I could never hate you. And third, I just want to know why you did it. There must be a reason.”

“I'm sorry… Please don't be mad…” Alec mutters staring down at his hands. “I…I don't know… Y-You sang that song, and I just…” _‘I love you… I love you, I love you so much… I've wanted to kiss you ever since we first met… No. Even before then.’_ He thinks.

“Just because of the song? That's a really lame excuse, you know…?” He mutters, his eyes fixed on the TV screen.

He looks at him, scared. Even if he said he could never hate him, Alec can't believe it. _'I can't tell you the truth…'_ He pulls his knees up to his chest, hugging them, hiding his face. “I'm really sorry…” He mutters again. “I'm sorry for being sorry too since it annoys you…” He says helplessly.

Magnus sighs. “I wish I could do what I really want… but I can't, not yet.”

Alec raises his head a little to look at him confused, his heart racing, not daring to hope. “What do you… want to do…?” _'I wish the same…'_

Magnus simply shrugs stubbornly, and points to the TV with his head. “Show.”

The boy pouts because he dodged his question again. “If what you really wanted was to see the show you could have just asked me to shut up. I wouldn't have minded.”

“You said yourself, there's no need for me to repeat it~”

“Fine.” He pouts more, staring blankly at the tv, not talking anymore, not wishing to bother him. That is, until the commercial break, ten minutes later. Then, he turns to him again and whispers. “Magnus?”

“Mmm?” He turns his head to look at him. “What is it?”

“Can you please do me a favour?”

“A favour? Sure…”

“Do you promise?” He asks quietly looking into his eyes. “No matter what?”

“Unless it's something unreasonable… but yeah, I promise.”

Alec smiles widely at him. “It's not! Great then! **_If_** you still want to stay, you are sleeping on my bed, and I will sleep on the couch, no complaints.”

Magnus stares silently at him before answering with an “okay” and a shrug. He'll do whatever he wants, really.

He frowns, his smile faltering at Magnus' indifferent tone. “I just don't want you to be uncomfortable…” He mutters, hurt.

“I know, but that doesn't mean I agree.”

“As you wish…” He whispers again looking away.

“No, I promised. However… anything can happen.”

“What do you mean?” He asks not getting his trail of thought.

“Nights are long~” Magnus grins at him, then looks at the screen again. PR came back from the ads.

“Wha-?” Alec blushes looking at him, wondering of what he may be thinking.

Goes back to ignore him because he's sure Alec couldn't take whatever is going through his mind.

Alec sighs softly looking at him once more longingly, and then back at then Tv, spacing out. After a while he starts slowly drifting off.

Once the show ends, he yawns and turns his head to say to Alec that he's ready to bed, but then he finds him peacefully sleeping. Smiling, he reaches to touch his face. “I love you so much… You have no idea…”

Feeling a feather light touch he stirs in his sleep leaning closer to it smiling, and mumbles. “Ma…gnus… I…”

A huge smile appears on Magnus' face then. “Oh God, you're so cute… and way more honest in your sleep.”

Still fast asleep Alec leans closer curling in to his warmth sighing, a content smile on his face as he grabs his shirt holding on to him.

“Stubborn sayang…” Magnus whispers kissing him on the forehead. “We're going to bed.”

“ ** _You're_** stubborn…” The boy mumbles in his sleep.

“How dare you… You cannot talk to me like that. I'm still your boss, you know?” He jokes, carrying him bridal style, carefully not to wake him.

Alec clings to him still smiling in his half-sleep. “Sorry…”

Magnus snorts. “Don't lie, you're not.” He goes to the bedroom and lays Alec down there.

He half-wakes and opens his blue eyes a bit but is too sleepy to think clearly and reaches out to grab his beloved’s hand. “Don't go…”

“If I stay here you'll freak out in the morning…”

He whimpers softly in response, clinging to him tighter. “Don't leave me…”

He sighs, giving in and laying down beside him. “I guess I could stay until you fall asleep…”

“You promised…” Alec breathes, his eyes closing.

“I didn't promise to sleep with you… though I'd love that.”

“You promised… to get the bed…I… will leave… if you don't… want…”

“I'll stay if you promise not to freak out tomorrow.”

He smiles relieved, his eyes half-lidded again. “Of course I won't cielo…”

“Again with that word…” He smiles back, closer to him than before. “Sleep, sayang… You need it.”

“Goodnight… My love…” He breathes once more curling to the bed.

“Sweet dreams..."

Magnus whispers, aching to hold him. Instead, he closes his eyes, drifting off little by little.

Alec shivers a little in the chilly night and scoots closer to his warmth and Magnus unconsciously wraps his arms around him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter preview!!
> 
> {Alec wakes up the next morning smiling, thinking of the beautiful dream of Magnus he had and opens his eyes, only to freeze, panicked and……}
> 
> That’s all for now! And below are some lyrics to hint what may happen next~  
> “It always seems those castles and dreams fade with the morning light…”  
> Next Chapter Title: "Castles and Dreams"


	38. Castles and Dreams

 

Alec sighs content in Magnus’ arms. But his bliss doesn't last long, as the nightmares return. A different one this time. He sees Magnus looking at him coldly, whispering cruel things.

_“Did you really think for a moment I could love you? How dare you kiss me? Disgusting creature. Who would lovesomething like you?”_

He stirs in his sleep muttering. “No, no, I'm sorry… Magnus… No…”

Magnus half-wakes because he heard his name. When he opens his eyes and sees Alec moving around in his sleep and whining, he softly grabs his face to whisper against his lips. “Shhh, it's just a nightmare… You're good, Alexander, you're safe here…”

“Mag…nus…” He breathes, relaxing into his arms once more, the nightmare dispersing.

“Yeah… I'm here with you…” He whispers barely kissing him.

Alec clings to him desperately, eyes still closed and moves a little closer, their lips brushing.

Magnus holds him even closer than before, kissing him lightly this time.

He opens his blue eyes heavy with sleep and blurred from unshed tears, to look at him for a moment, and then closes them again and kisses him back softly.

He caresses his face, wiping away the tears, while his lips work against Alec's.

He pulls back after a short while to look at him and whispers breathlessly. “But you hated me…”

“I already told you a thousand times, Alexander… I could never hate you. I love you.”

He shakes his head, tears falling from his eyes. “No… you said… _"Who would love something like you?"_ And that you never would…”

Magnus frowns at that, wiping the tears once more. “I never said that…” Then he suddenly realizes something. “Don't tell me… That nightmare?”

“You… you were looking at me like that again…” He draws a ragged breath. “The way you do every time I anger you…”

He shakes his head, hugging him against his chest. “I don't hate you… It was just a stupid nightmare… Okay?”

“Okay…” Alec mutters, his breath hitching by tearless sobs, wrapping his arms around his waist, holding onto him desperately.

“Don't cry, my beautiful angel… My Raziel…” He whispers.

“I'm sorry…” He mutters against his chest trying to calm down. "I love you…"

“Don't be sorry, you did nothing wrong…”

Alec shakes his head, still on his chest. “Everything I do is wrong… I keep hurting you…”

“That back then was my own stupidity… You were drugged. I shouldn't have confessed my feelings for you like that.”

The boy pulls back a little to look into his eyes. “I remember… Everything that happened that day. But I thought it was a dream. It was too good to be true… As is that moment…” He whispers touching his face softly. “How can it be real?”

“How could it not…?” Magnus says looking deeply into his eyes, though he was pretty sleepy. “You're so amazing, Alexander… So caring and sweet… How can I not love you?”

He stares at him mesmerised, blushing at all the compliments. “But you… **_you_** , are so much more…”

Magnus smiles. “I'm just a person and a singer, Alexander. Nothing more.”

“Oh Magnus… You're so much more… Someday I will tell you…” He whispers touching his face. “I will tell you the truth… But…” He adds noticing Magnus’ barely open eyes. “Aren't you tired? I woke you up again with my nonsense…”

“We have time… But yeah, we should sleep for now…” He leans on his touch.

Alec takes his hand and kisses it, not feeling bold enough to kiss his lips, even though he's dying to. “Just one last thing… If tomorrow I still don't believe everything, don't be sad… Just snap me out of it… Okay?”

Magnus chuckles at that. “No problem, babe. Now sleep…” He leans to kiss him on the lips.

“God, I love you so much…” Alec mutters before leaning closer too, to bring their lips together on a brief kiss.

“Tell me when you're awake again~” Magnus smiles playfully, making Alec smile back at him.

“I will…”

“Great…” He says running a hand through his dark hair.

Alec practically purrs, content, leaning in to his touch, his eyes closing once more. “Mags…”

“I like when you call me that way…”

"Mags… I love you…"He smiles relishing that he's able to say it freely.

“I love you too silly thing…” Magnus jokes. “Now sleep, I'm serious.”

“Sleep too my love…” He whispers looking at him, then blushes reaching out to hug his waist and move closer. “Can I…?”

“Of course you can…” He lets him do whatever he pleases, still smiling as Alec scoots closer to hug him and snuggle to his chest.

That makes Magnus laugh. “You're like a cat… a giant cat. It's adorable.”

“Shut up.” He mutters pouting, though his tone is still loving. “You have no idea for how long I have longed to touch you…”

“Oh no, I don't know that one… You should tell me some other time~”

“I will… I will tell you anything you want…”

“Tomorrow then…” Closing his eyes, Magnus lets himself fall asleep.

“It's a promise…” Alec whispers and falls asleep too in Magnus' arms listening to his steady heartbeat, happier than he has ever been before in his life. And for the first time he sleeps through the night with no nightmares without listening to Magnus' songs.

Magnus used to sleep pretty much nothing until he got to meet Alec, his muse. Then he would sleep dreaming about kissing and holding him. But now, now it's different because he gets to just do that instead of dreaming about doing it. This is the real deal. For the first time in years, he's truly happy.

~o~

Alec wakes up the next morning to the light entering the windows. He smiles thinking of the beautiful dream of Magnus he had and opens his eyes, only to freeze, panicked and realise the position he's in. He's in his bed with Magnus, lying on the singer’s chest. Said singer is sleeping peacefully, a smile on his face and Alec can't help but stare up at him. _‘He looks so beautiful…'_ He thinks before chastising himself. _'Wait. What the hell happened? That was a dream right? Why? What am I doing here? He loves me??? No, no way… What is going on???'_ He decides to get up and make coffee and try to sort everything out. That night, the hospital and everything else… _'But how do I get up?'_ He notices blushing that Magnus' arms is around his waist holding him close. For a moment he's tempted to just stay there, unwilling to leave his arms…When again would a chance like this appear to be so close to him? But then, fear that Magnus would hate that drives him to sigh softly and gently try to disentangle his beloved's arm from his waist and get up, trying **_really_** hard not to disturb him.

In that very moment, Magnus stirs, opening one eye at the sudden movement. “What…?” Seeing Alec awake, staring at him without blinking and completely still like some kind of deer in headlights, makes him smile. “Hey, pretty boy… Good morning.” He leans in to kiss him, a light peck on his lips, but pulls back almost immediately. “Ugh, morning breath. Sorry.”

His eyes widen even more as he looks at him. _'He doesn't look… repulsed…'_ Alec notes, and then it hits him. _'He was about to…'_ Magnus…? He whispers finally, unable to take his eyes off him.

“Mmm… ?” Magnus rubs at his right eye, yawning.

 _'Oh my God he's so adorable…'_ He thinks, his heart leaping, before shaking his head to clear it. “I… uh… What exactly happened yesterday??”

Magnus stares dumfounded at him for a while and then he gets out of the bed. “You don't get to do that to me. Not again.”

Alec stares at him terrified. “Wait!! Where are you going???” He grabs his hand to stop him before thinking about it.

The older man frowns at the gesture, pulling back. “I'm going home, why do you care?!” He grabs his clothes that are on the armchair. “Anyway, are you fucking amnesic or something?! Or you just love messing around with me and making me go insane?! Because it's working, but I can't anymore!”

Alec freezes, looking up at him terrified, his blue eyes wide, not daring to move, to even breathe. Magnus is staring at him his emerald eyes burning with anger and he is so close… Alec tries to speak, but his mind draws a blank, every coherent thought lost in the depths of his beautiful eyes…

 


	39. Confessions time

“Do I look that **_pathetic_** to you?” Magnus lets out a bitter laugh, shaking his head afterwards. “Of course I do… Of course **_I am_**. Why do I ask? I've been doing nothing but making a fool of myself. All that useless flirt crap, the confession and the promises… I just can't anymore, I'm tired.” He swallows, holding back the tears, and turns around to leave.

Magnus' words feel like a knife twisting in his heart and he snaps out of the daze immediately. He grabs his arm and pushes him to the wall, cornering him so he can't leave. “I **_love you_**!! I always have! I always will… I love you more than anything!” He tells him, willing to take the heartbreak of his rejection rather than watch him suffer another minute. “But I’m **_terrified_** …” He whispers. “Terrified that you’re going to cast me away and I will never see you again…” He drops his eyes to the floor, his hands shaking. “So… do it… I deserve it after all…”

He's unable to move for a moment, trying to analyze Alec's words. Alec’s hands are still on his shoulders and Magnus reaches out to touch one. “You're so stupid… Nothing but me being angry bothers you and that alone is idiotic. You… drive me **_nuts_**. But I really like you. And that's not gonna change anytime soon.”

Alec looks at him, his blue eyes wide once more, his whole body shaking now from the tension and the shouting. _‘He really does… This is real… Not a dream. Not anymore…'_ He lets go of a breath he hadn’t realised he was holding and releasing Magnus' shoulders, he falls into his arms, hugging him tightly. “I’m so sorry…” He chokes out, burying his head on his chest. “I'm sorry, so sorry for putting you through that… I'm sorry…”

Wrapping his arms tightly around the boy, Magnus closes his eyes. The tension gradually fading away. “It's okay… We're good… We're good.” In the peace that follows, Magnus repeats the words in his head. “Wait... You…” He lets go to stare at him, eyes wide, his breath caught in his throat.

“Mags? What's wrong? Are you okay??” Alec reaches out to touch his face, looking at him anxiously not realising why he reacted like that. Loving him feels as natural as breathing for him, so he didn't notice what he practically just told him. That he **_loves_** him the most… With no excuse for not meaning it, no drugs or sleepiness in the way. Clear conscious words in the light of day.

“You…” He hesitates. “You really, **love** me?” He asks in a whisper.

His eyes widen as he looks at him finally realising and he whispers back, not taking them off him. “I do. Very much…”

Magnus nods slowly, taking the words in. “I see…”

“I… uh… I'm sorry.” Alec blushes looking down. “Please forget about it for now… I don't want you to feel… pressured. I know you’d think it’s too early…”

“I don't-” Magnus takes his hand then. “I don't feel pressured, just… surprised maybe? Why would you love someone like me?”

Alec can’t help but laugh at that. “Well…? Why indeed?? Where to start??? Because you are perfection in human form. Because even though you are so beautiful and famous you are not conceited at all, but very kind and always take time to interact with your fans even when you are **_extremely_** busy. Because your voice is the most beautiful thing I have ever heard, and I have loved you before even seeing you because of it. Because ever since I saw your emerald eyes I fell even harder for you. Because you are so sweet. You have been so kind to me even though I was a nuisance from the start. Also… You have been through so many awful things so much unfair heartbreak and yet you haven't let it make you cruel or cold. Because of your passion… Because, because, because… If I keep going we will be here all day today, and tomorrow and the day after. So…” Another laugh escapes him. “Is that reason enough? To love "someone like you"?” He says those words with fervour, words he kept inside for so long and then bites his lip realising it's too much. Magnus just likes him, how could he tell him all that? He's terrified he'll scare him off. But looking at him it had all just poured out. He couldn't let him doubt himself any more. Alec drops his head looking at him through his eyelashes. “God, I'm sorry. You don't have to say anything, I…”

At first he's so overwhelmed that he can't even think straight, then a smile spreads across his face. “I should've been honest with you since the beginning but I was scared you might think I was toying with you. But you know what Matt did to me, how he toyed with me and discarded me like a used tissue. So I would never do anything like that to anyone. Much less to you. Alexander, I-” He swallows a bit. “I need you to trust me on this. I've loved you since the day we met, the day you came for the job, since I laid my eyes on you, really.”

It's his turn to stare shocked. “I… You… But, Mags… How…? You don't… you didn't know me… I could have been like him…”

That makes him snort and roll his eyes. “You’re kidding, right? **You** , like **him** , dressing like **_that_**?”

Alec pouts. “I could still have been an asshole… And how the hell did you fall for me when I was wearing those clothes you hate so much?” He smirks, his heart leaping in his chest. _'He loves me… He **really** loves me…'_

“Clothes don't always make a man.” Magnus wiggles his eyebrows making Alec blush.

“That's not convincing **_at all_** , coming from you, Magnus.” The boy retorts with a teasing smile.

He dismisses that with a hand. “You can think whatever you want, darling. That won't make me love you less.”

Alec smiles brightly at him, still dancing and chanting in his head. _'He loves me, he loves me…'_ “I still can't believe how I got so lucky…” He finally admits.

Magnus smiles too, knowing that he made Alec happy with his words and hugs him once more.


	40. Trust me

Alec sighs, feeling content at last in Magnus' presence, touching him freely; being with him like that. “This is real…” He mutters.

Magnus chuckles. “Totally real.”

“But I still can't believe it…” He says squeezing him tighter. “Hey… You promised last night to tell me if I forgot again… And yet… And yet, you shouted at me…” He whines softly, against his chest.

“You remember that?” He huffs. “Unbelievable… I know I promised you but I couldn't stand it… It was painful.”

“I remember _**everything**_ you told me… I just believed it was all a dream… It wouldn't be the first anyway…”  Alec blushes before adding in a small voice. “I'm so sorry I hurt you…”

“So you dream about me that much… ?” The singer asks curiously and Alec blushes even more, hiding his face.

“None of your business…”

“Playing shy now?” He chuckles. “Come on…”

“Of course I do…” He finally answers embarrassed. “Do you have any idea how long I've been in love with you??”

“No if you don' tell me~”

“And why should I tell you?” He smirks looking at him, deciding to "fight" back.

“Last night you promised that you were going to tell me everything.” Magnus fights back too.

“I did?? I don't remember… Maybe I'm a _**"fucking amnesiac or something".**_ ” Alec quotes pouting, thinking of Magnus screaming at him.

Magnus raises an eyebrow. “Maybe I am now.” He says disentangling himself from the hug.

His playful nature fades immediately once Magnus steps away from him. “Mags…” He whispers hurt, needing to touch him.

“Oh my God, you're so ridiculous… I was just acting. But if you really believed that, it means that I'm an _**amazing**_ actor.”  He grins raising both arms, in victory. “Yay to me!”

Alec smiles softly at how cute he is, relieved for only a moment before realising. “Oh… I forgot about that… You really _**are**_ amazing, yeah… There was no way to tell you were lying. Which leads me to think…”  He trails off, averting his eyes.

“Back to the beginning, huh? Doubting me and all…” Magnus sighs, visibly tired. “You have your reasons, I guess, but I would win absolutely nothing by lying to you. I'll be fooling myself too.”

“I'm sorry…” He reaches out slowly to take his hand, afraid he might not want to be touched by him anymore. “You're right… But I'm just scared you know? You're a dream come true… All I ever wanted… If I were to lose you now, I…”

He looks down at his hand and squeezes it before fixing his gaze on Alec's. “I know… It's too good to be true, but it is. And I need you to trust me.”

The boy smiles staring into his eyes mesmerised. “It really is, huh? Okay… I will… I'm sorry for doubting you…”

Magnus smiles back in semi-annoyance. “Yeah, you better be sorry.”

Alec looks up at him, his blue eyes sincere. “You know I am… For everything… But most of all for hurting you… I swear I will _**never**_ hurt you again… I'd sooner die.”  He adds somberly.

“Yeah… No, you can stop now with the dramatics, alright? It's enough.”

He chuckles at that, breaking the serious mood. “Okay.”

“Come here.” The older man says opening his arms and he immediately obeys, snuggling close to him, sighing happily. Magnus hugs him tightly, smiling. “Still like a giant cat~”

“Shut up.” Alec says affectionately, a soft smile on his face. “You _**love**_ cats…”

“I love cats, and I love you too. That's a win-win for me, right?”

He blushes smiling. “If you say so…”

“I _**totally**_ say so. Come on, let's get some coffee. I'm dying here.”  He holds out a hand for Alec to take it.

Still blushing Alec takes his hand, smiling widely as he does so, looking at their entertwined hands. “Do you want to keep me company while I make you coffee?”

“Is that a serious question? Of course I do!”

“Come on then…” He smiles happily leading him to the kitchen. He looks at him and then kisses his hand before letting go. “Same as yesterday?”

Smiling back, Magnus sits on a stool. “Just milk and sugar, thanks.”

Alec spaces out for a moment, just looking at him. His dark hair is unstyled and his beautiful face free of makeup. He looks absolutely stunning. “You're so perfect…” He mutters unable to help himself.

Magnus is still a bit sleepy, so he's not sure what he just heard. “What was that?”

Not for the last time, he blushes crimson, but decides to be honest for once. He's been keeping everything inside for too long anyway. So he walks to Magnus and standing in front of his stool, gently takes his face in his hands. “I said you're absolutely perfect…”

He stares at him, his expression completely honest. “You know, when people say that about me I feel like putting on a smile and thanking them, but with you… with you it's different. You make me believe it.”

“As you should… I won't lie to you anymore. And this is the truth. You are the most perfect being I was ever blessed enough to lay my eyes on. Let alone touch.” He gently caresses his cheekbone with his thumb. “Let alone kiss…” He takes his hand and kisses it again, too embarrassed to initiate a proper kiss.

“Babe… you're killing me here. Kiss me… Please…” Magnus begs.

His heart jumps at his words and he swoons, his feet almost swaying. “I _**love**_ you.”  His voice is almost a low growl as he grabs Magnus' face and finally crashes their lips together.

Grabbing both of his hands, he tries to make him slow down. “Shhh… I know you're new to this… but let me teach you.”

Alec jolts back, snapping out of it embarrassed. “I'm so sorry…” He says taking a step away from him, not looking in his eyes.

“No, don't be…” He softly grabs his face. “Look at me…”

He obeys, staring into his emerald eyes hesitantly, his cheeks stained red.

“Why are you looking so embarrassed…? We're a couple now, right…?”

His eyes widen at that, his heart skipping another beat. “W-we are? I- I mean, you'd really want that?”

Magnus frowns, suddenly looking confused. “Did you think I just wanted a "fling" with you…?”

Alec drops his eyes again. “I wouldn't blame you… I know I'm not important… And I certainly don't deserve you…”

“Oh God, not again…” He groans, covering his face with both hands. “I haven't even had a coffee yet…”

“I'm sorry!” Alec jolts, remembering the coffee and turns his back on him to make it.

“That's not what I mean, and you know it.” Magnus says touching his back gently. “I'm where I want to be, Alexander. With you.”

Alec looks back at him enchanted. “I love you…” He whispers. “I'm sorry… I know I'm annoying you… But I… I never thought you could ever possibly spare me a second look, let alone love me… And I'm trying… But I can't understand why.”

“There's nothing to understand, just hold onto it. I'm not asking much, am I…?” He mutters against his shoulder blade, hugging him from behind.

He melts into his touch, leaning back towards him and bringing his hands over Magnus' holding on to him. “Okay…”

 


	41. Breakfast at Alec’s

“For example, you can hold onto me while making coffee. I think that's a fantastic idea~”

Alec squeezes his hands tighter for a moment, smiling. “It is… I could get used to that.”

“To making me coffee every morning?” The singer jokes.

“I meant holding onto you like that. But yes…” He blushes. “That too… If you want me to…”

“Those words imply so much more than that…”

“Like…?” He asks breathlessly.

“I don't know… You guess.” Magnus teases, biting his shoulder.

The boy moans softly unable to stop himself, which causes him to blush even more afterwards. “Maaagnus…” He breathes.

Magnus chuckles, his hands roaming through Alec's sculpted torso. “Whaaaat…?”

His breathing hitches at his touch and he leans his head back towards him, not answering.

“You forgot what you were going to say…? I could try to refresh your memory by stepping back~” Magnus makes a move to let him go.

“No!” Alec grabs his arms again holding him close. “It doesn't matter, I bet it wasn't important anyway…” He says and snuggles back to him again.

He smiles, resting his head on his shoulder. “Mmm… But we were talking about having coffee together every morning and something more…”

“You were about to tell me what ‘something more’ means… Do you want me to make you pancakes too for breakfast?” Alec teases.

“Why not? I haven't had pancakes in a while.” Magnus teases back, pinching his left side, making him jump slightly.

“Your wish is my command ‘Mr.Bane’.” He purrs pushing back against him.

“Oh God…” The singer breathes hard. “You have no idea how much you calling me that turns me on…”

Alec bites his lower lip, amazed that he has that kind of power over him. “Call you what…? Mr. Bane?” He whispers slowly, lovingly.

“Don't push your luck, babe, or I'll make you regret it…” He whispers in his ear before biting his earlobe.

He moans again, the endearment and Magnus' actions having the same effect on him. “But then…” He breathes heavily. “I won't be able to make you breakfast…”

“That's why I'm telling you to stop tempting me…”

“I didn't do anything…” He whines softly. “You started it…”

“You're too easy…” Magnus whispers, kissing him on the neck before letting him go. “I'll retreat for now~”

Alec whines again, a soft sound of protest leaving his lips, as he's already missing his touch, then starts making the coffee focusing on it to calm his racing heart. He turns around and gives it to Magnus along with his brightest smile. “I'm not ‘easy’ love… **_You_** are just too irresistible…”

Taking the cup off Alec's hands, he grabs the front of his shirt to pull him in for a little kiss. “That makes two of us then…”

Alec swoons, smiling even more because of the kiss. “Nonsense.” He blushes, not believing Magnus finds him irresistible. “You still like messing with me I see…”

“I like messing with everybody.” He smirks taking a sip of his coffee.

“Oh?” The boy raises an eyebrow jealous, and leans closer. “The same way you mess with me??”

Magnus simply shrugs, still smiling, and Alec pouts, even more jealous turning his back on him, facing the stove. “How do you like your pancakes?”

Leaning back on the stool, he smirks. “Exactly how I like my coffee and boyfriends. Sweet.”

Alec pouts more, still not looking at him. “Then why do you like me? There's nothing sweet about me…” He mutters as he starts making the batter.

Magnus rolls his eyes. “If I think you are it is because you are. Now stop complaining at everything I say.”

“Fine.” He stops talking altogether, making the pancakes.

Magnus stays silent as well, watching him work on the dough of the pancakes. Everything is so domestic… He loves it.

Alec starts "baking" one and turns to look at him, wondering why he's so silent.

His eyes are fixed on Alec's hands, the delicacy and care in the movements. Magnus can't help but smile.

Seeing him smile, he forgets the jealousy and that he was supposed to be pouting and smiles too. “What are you thinking?”

“Just… this, you know. I could get used to it… This domesticity, I mean.” He explains.

Alec smiles thinking he would love that. Being with him all the time, like this. “That? That's nothing special right?”

“You think so?” Magnus says and is surprised by his own annoyed voice tone.

“I…” His smile fades immediately, hearing Magnus like that. “I'm sorry… I didn't mean it that way… **_You_** are special. I meant that the act of just making breakfast like that, is pretty… mundane.”

The singer shrugs, muttering. “I don't know… I couldn't tell since it didn't happen to me before…”

Alec frowns and turns his back on him, closing the stove, then turns back to him immediately and hugs him tightly. “Did no one ever make you breakfast like that?” He asks saddened by the thought and realizing how little he really knows about him.

“No one stayed that long to have breakfast with me…” He wraps his arms around Alec's waist, resting his head on his stomach, and Alec hugs him tighter.

“ ** _I,_** will. I will stay as long as you want me to. And I will make you breakfast, and lunch and dinner, and just stay with you and watch those boring shows you like.” He smiles softly. “I will give you all the domesticity you want… I will do whatever makes you happy. I just want to see you smile…” Alec whispers with fervor wondering how could anyone hurt Magnus, like that. Magnus who was essentially an Angel, so sweet and pure and loving… “Who the Hell **_wouldn't_** want to stay with you???” The words slip his mouth by the end.

For a moment, he believes everything but he's been promised things before and they always ended turning him down. “Don't make promises you can't keep…” Magnus mutters, his voice distilling sadness. “And answering to your question, everyone I've been with. Camille, Matt… After sex, they wouldn't stay. I begged sometimes, I'm not proud of it, but I did and even so… I couldn't get what I wanted. For them to stay a bit more, just a bit more…”

Alec already knew Camille and Matt were rotten, but wasn't aware that they'd hurt him **_this_** much. He hugs him even tighter for a moment, anguished because of his pain and then lets him go, and looks into his emerald eyes, tears of anger and pain in his own blue ones. “I **_swear_** to you.” He says. “I will never leave unless you ask me to. I will **_never_** hurt you like that.”

“I'm not keeping you if you don't want to stay… I'm not that selfish.” Magnus stares back at him. “But I will try to make you happy so you wouldn't have to leave me…”

“Being with you is all I ever wanted…” He whispers rubbing his eyes. “It's not selfish to want the one you love to stay with you… And don't you dare think that just because **_they_** are rotten, it means you weren't good enough… **You** , are **_perfect_**.”

“I'm really not, but thanks… for staying. Though, now I am the one staying in your loft.” Magnus finally smiles a bit.

“ ** _‘If I think you are it is because you are.’_** ” He mirrors Magnus' previous words. “No need to thank me… I get great pleasure from staying…” He smiles lovingly. “I wouldn't rather be anywhere else but with you…”

“And you are welcome to stay for as long as you want… Though I bet you must miss your home. Mine is nothing special.” He shrugs.

“More like I miss my cat… Chairman must be starving, damn…”

Alec’s eyes widen. “Oh my God. I'm so sorry! I totally forgot! It's all my fault! If I hadn't asked you to stay with me…”

“It's not, but we could… I don't know, have breakfast first and spend the rest of the day in my loft. If you want.”

“I would love that…” He smiles, happy that he can spend more time with him. “I'm so glad I convinced you to take the day off…”

“Yeah… Me too.”  Magnus smiles sincerely.


	42. Heavy is the head that wears the crown

Alec touches his face softly and leans to kiss his forehead. “I will finish making the pancakes then…” He whispers.

Magnus’ smile widens. “Okay, I'll stay here. I love watching you.”

“I love having you here…” He says turning back to the stove just as Gabriel enters the kitchen meowing and heads straight to Magnus, to rub on his legs. Alec snorts. “If it isn't my little traitor.”

Magnus chuckles petting the cat. “Hey, Gabi. Would you like to meet Chairman Meow? He's just like you, small and adorable.”

Gabriel purrs and Alec turns around to look at Magnus, smiling. He loves watching him with Gabriel, he's the adorable one.

Just as Alec thought he couldn’t get any cuter, Magnus grabs the cat, hugging him. “Good kittylo~” He giggles as Gabriel licks his fingers, tickling him. “I've been thinking, Alexander, would you mind taking him with us to my loft? I certainly wouldn't, but since it's your cat…”

Alec had spaced out watching him, a wide smile plastered on his face. _'How can he be so adorable???'_ “What? No, of course I don't mind, it's your home after all. And Gabriel adores you.” He says snapping out of his haze, smiling shyly. “Must be that he's heard so much about you… And he's accustomed to the sound of your beautiful voice…” He says dreamily, accidentally giving away too much.

“Oh wow,” Magnus chuckles. “you're **_so_** biased… You make me look like a God or something.”

“What???? You're **_not_** a God???” Alec gasps, faking surprise, making Magnus laugh openly.

“Dummy…”

He playfully sticks his tongue out to him, smiling. “If you say so, my Lord.”

“You're ridiculous.”

“I love you too.” Alec chuckles and turns away again, to check the almost burned pancakes.

“It smells good~” The older man teases, knowing he wasn't paying attention because of him.

“Don't laugh at me! I will make more! You are distracting me…”

“Nah, I'm not that hungry. And I'm sure those will be delicious.”

“Dream on. I'm not feeding you anything that isn't absolutely perfect.”

“Alexander, pleeeeeease.” He groans in frustration. “I don't mind, really.”

“I do!! There's a lot of batter left anyway… and this is the first time I'm cooking for you…” He blushes. “I want it to be good…”

Magnus stares at him thoughtfully, then surrenders. “Alright, I'll wait.”

He frowns. “I'm sorry… It won't be too long… Just 5 more minutes… You can go get ready if you're bored of waiting…”

“I'm not, I told you I love watching you. It's a first for me~”

Alec smiles. “It's a first for me too… I used to make breakfast for my siblings, but no one before wanted to stay and keep me company, or watch me like you…”

“At least you have siblings.” He smiles remembering them. “I think Trace hates me…”

Alec looks at him confused. “Trace??” And then it clicks and he laughs. “You mean Jace?? Why would he hate you???”

“Oh, was it "Jace"…? Well, yeah, him. He gives me the stink eye.”

“He does????” Alec narrows his own eyes. “I'm gonna have a talk with him…”

“No, I like that your family is so protective with you.”

“I'm the one who's supposed to protect them…” He frowns again.

“Why, because you're the elder?”

“Of course…” He responds, checking the pancake. “They are my responsibility.”

“Darling, you're their brother… and you went through lots of bad things…”

“It doesn't matter Mags…” He says smiling softly at him, and briefly touching his face, a feather-light, but loving touch. “I **_need_** to protect the people I love… Them, and you.”

“It does, it matters to me.” Magnus mutters, staring into his eyes. “And I want to protect **_you_**.”

Alec smiles looking into his beautiful face. “Thank you my love.”

“I like that you're more affectionate now…” He says before taking a sip of his now cold coffee, grimacing a bit.

Alec blushes but then sees his reaction. “What's wrong???” He asks worried.

“Ugh, nothing…” He leaves the cup aside. “Do you think I could take a shower here before going out…?”

Doesn't understand and gets more worried that he did something wrong. “Of course. Do you want to have the pancakes first? They're done. Unless you changed your mind and don't want them at all…” He says, the thought crossing his mind. “Which is fine!!”

“No, it's not. Let's eat, come sit with me.” Magnus smiles at him.

“Okay… are you sure?” Alec serves the pancakes and goes to sit beside him.

“Yeah, don't be silly. We'll eat and then have a shower. We're in no hurry today, remember?” Magnus starts eating. “Mmm… Delicious. You're a great cook, my angel.”

“Okay!” He smiles and then blushes at the endearment and the compliment. “Thank you…”

“Amazing, really.” He squeezes his hand before grabbing another pancake. He liked homemade food the most.

Alec blushes more, really happy he likes them. “I can cook you whatever you want then… We can stop by the store on our way to your loft, and get groceries, so I can make lunch too.” He smiles adoringly at him, determined to make him happy.

“No way, I won't make you "work" in our day off. We could grab some take-out. I know a good Chinese restaurant near my house.” Magnus smiles back at him.

“It's really no trouble for me…” He reassures him. “But okay. Whatever you wish for.” He says softly, brushing his fingers over his cheek.

“Another time.” Once he's done with the pancakes, he gets up from the stool and kisses Alec on the forehead. “Shower now.”

The sweetness of the gesture paired with some unholy thoughts make him finally lose his cool in Magnus' presence. “O-okay…” He stammers looking up at him enchanted, before geting off his stool too. “I'll… I'll go bring you some towels…”

“Any other time I'd ask you to join me but I know very well that you're not ready…” He says, grinning at his nervousness.

Alec blushes crimson at the thought, biting his lip, only nodding, agreeing with his claim that he's not ready yet.

“But don't look so scared, darling. I won't force you to do anything you don't want. Ever.”

“I-I know… I trust you… It's just that… this is all too new… I want it.” He looks away blushing more. “I want **_you_**. I'm just not ready yet…” He adds lower, embarrassed. “I don't even know how to kiss properly…”

“We'll work on that.” He winks at him, walking to the bathroom right afterwards.


	43. Tension. (Of the good kind)

Alec stares at him walking off, still blushing and then goes to feed Gabriel. His phone rings, and he smiles at not having to turn it down now so Magnus won't hear.

In the bathroom, Magnus takes his time undressing, leaving his clothes well placed on the toilet. Then, he stares at his reflection in the mirror. No red eyes or puffy eyelids… It's been years since he slept that well. Smiling, he enters the shower and starts washing his body with Alec's shower gel.

Alec leisurely walks to his phone humming along to Magnus' song and picks it up. “Hello?”

“Alec!! Are you okay?” Izzy practically screams from the other end.

“Yes Izzy, gosh, no need to shout… What’s up?”

"Where are you? I’m so sorry I couldn’t come!!”

“I’m home. It's okay, Izzy.” _‘More than okay.’_ “Don't worry. **_Magnus_** is here with me.” He emphasizes the name so she’ll get the hint and hang up.

" **OH**. Naughty brother. Did he sleep over???" She asks chuckling excitedly.

 _'Okay, maybe she took the hint too far.'_ He thinks and hisses/shouts at her embarrassed. “IZZY!”

"Whaaat?"

“I'm hanging up. Bye Iz.”

"You're no fun!!” She huffs before adding cheerfully. “Enjoy~~! Kiss Magnus for me!!" And he can hear the smirk in her voice as he hangs up abruptly, blushing, realising she somehow knows what happened.

**~o~**

The shower is working miracles, Magnus is totally relaxed as the lukewarm water falls down his back.

Having fed Gabriel Alec falls on the couch closing his eyes, relaxing as he waits for Magnus and thinking of everything that happened, smiling contently. _‘It still seems like a dream…’_

Somehow, Magnus doesn't feel the "need" to touch himself, even with all of Alec's personal products surrounding him, his scent everywhere… He doesn't want to taint anything by giving in to lust. So he just stays still under the water, enjoying the mere sensation.

 _‘Magnus in my house… Wearing my clothes… Showering-’_ He blushes trying not to think of **that** , and then it hits him. “The towels!! Oh my God!” He sits up and runs to get them, cursing inwardly for forgetting, and then knocks on the door.

Distracted, not caring if anyone sees him naked -It's his body and he's comfortable with it-, he simply says. “Come in.”

He opens the door nervously, thinking Magnus is showering behind the curtain and steps inside. “I brought the-” His words fall short as he freezes midsentence, his blue eyes wide. Magnus is in front of him, looking away from the door and Alec can't help but stare. Water is falling on his raven hair, on his caramel-coloured shoulders, reaching down to his back, and… Alec hastily averts his eyes, looking away, blushing more than he ever has in his life. “I'm so sorry!” He says and realizes he dropped the towels in shock. He picks them up quickly and leaves to bring new ones, calling, “I will be right back!”

“Thank you, you can leave them ther-” The last word dies in his mouth as Alec abruptly exits the bathroom. Thinking he's done something wrong, he hurries to get out of the shower to apologize when something hits him. Then he laughs openly, because Alec was simply embarrassed by his nakedness. “Oh my God…” Magnus giggles, covering his mouth with a hand, tears falling down his face. Tears of joy. Gosh, he's so happy right now he could die.

**~o~**

Alec flees the bathroom, closing the door and leaning against it. His heart is racing and he feels like his cheeks will be stained permanently red from this moment on. Trying to push the image of Magnus' beautiful and **_very_** naked body away, he goes to bring some new towels, then knocks on the door again. “It's me…” He says and then chastises himself. _‘Who else could it be, stupid?? Gabriel??’_ He sighs softly, still outside. “I'm sorry… I brought the towels…”

“I'm not mad at you or anything, Alexander.” He's grinning like a mad-man, unable to put a neutral expression on. “If you don't want to see me naked again, just come in with your eyes closed.”

“It's not that I don't **_want_** to…” He mutters, thinking. _‘More like my heart won’t be able to take it...’_ He enters the bathroom slowly, his eyes pinned to the floor, then once he's close enough, he closes his eyes tightly and raises his head, cheeks still stained crimson. Standing very still, he outstretches his hand for Magnus to take the towel.

Instead of just grabbing the towel Magnus walks to him, closing the space between them until he's **_so_** close to Alec that he can touch him with his entire body. “You could put the towel on for me, you know…? That'd be so hot…” He whispers, his breath caressing Alec's face.

His breath hitches and he gasps lowly, his heart doing back flips in his chest and he thinks he might die right then and there. _'So close, so close, so close, oh my God.'_ He bites his lip and slowly opens his eyes looking straight into Magnus' beautiful emerald golden ones, feeling he might lose his mind soon because of that perfect man in front of him. “Mags…” He whines lowly and their lips almost brush, driving him even crazier. With trembling hands he touches Magnus' waist, putting the towel around him and then touches his chest with a second one he's holding, drying the water from him. His hands are shaking so much it's a miracle he doesn't drop it, as he tries to stop himself from touching him more, from running his hands on his soft, flawless skin, from kissing his- _'Enough!'_ he cuts himself off forcing his mind to stop thinking, lest he attack him.

Once again, Magnus is surprised for good. Alec's light brush on his skin is making him burn with desire. If it wasn't the boy's first time, he would be sprawled on the floor, naked as well and begging for Magnus to **_take_** him. But it is, and he has to be patient with him. That's a first for Magnus too. Waiting for someone to be ready, **_wanting_** to wait for that someone… Falling in love **_that_** hard. It is all very new. And he's enjoying every second of it. “You're trembling… Are you cold?” He asks in a whisper, eyes never leaving Alec's blue ones.

Just when he thought he couldn't be more of a mess, Magnus' whispering voice sends him reeling, doing **_things_** to him. He looks at Magnus with clouded eyes, unable to peel them off the singer's darkened emerald ones. “No…” He whispers too, realizing his breathing has become labored as if he was running. “I'm… not…” _‘I'm just drunk on your presence…’_ He thinks. Fighting hard to compose himself, he drapes the second towel over Magnus' shoulders, and unable to resist keeps his hand there, his thumb brushing the soft skin under the towel. Touching him, even so little, he feels like an electric current running under his skin. “Ma…gnus… I…” He breathes, intoxicated, his thoughts a jumbled mess.

One word, a "please" and Magnus' patience will break into determination. Determination to make Alec feel **_good_** and **_wanted_** … But no, he couldn't do it to Alec. He'll make it special for him. “It's okay, Alexander… You can go now. Thanks…” Magnus doesn't dare raise his voice, afraid to scare him off.

“Oh…” He whispers, his eyes still intent on Magnus'. “Okay… You're welcome…” He takes a step back and looks at him now that he's half covered up. He regrets it immediately, as Magnus' appearance sends new waves of lust through his body. He stares as his wet hair drips down on his naked torso, and then it hits him, protectiveness, overpowering even lust momentary, and he snaps out of the "spell" he was caught in. “Oh.” He says again and drops another towel over him, this time covering his raven hair. “Make sure you dry your hair properly so you won't get sick…” He says lovingly. “I'll go turn the heat on. So you won't be cold.” He casts him one last look taking him in, and giving him a small shy smile turns to leave.

That protectiveness towards Magnus… Nobody cared that much about him. Nobody stayed that long or wanted anything permanent with him. Swallowing hard, he stares at Alec's back, wanting nothing but to stop him. “Alexander, I-” At that very moment, his phone goes off, interrupting what he was about to say. Swearing internally, he clears his throat. “Could you please pick up the call for me? It may be important.”

He turns to look at him about to ask if he's sure, but then remembers he is his assistant after all and nods. “Okay.” He can't help but smile at him once more and then he exits the room.

**~o~**


	44. Messing with Tessa (Part 1)

Alec finds Magnus' phone and picks it up. “Hello?”

"It's Tessa. Hum… Alec? Is that you?" She sounds as incredulous as she feels at the moment.

“Tessa? Yes, it's me. Is everything okay?” He asks, worried about her tone. She used to sound happier to talk to him.

"Yeah, just…" She hesitates. "I didn't expect _**you** _ to take the call. Is Magnus there or somehow he forgot his phone?"

“Um… He's here, yeah…”

"Oh, he spent the night…? Is he… is he okay?"

Alec blushes thinking back on everything but decides not to tell her all that happened in case Magnus doesn't want to. “Yeah… He was worried about me. He is okay.” _'More than okay, I want to believe.'_ he thinks smiling.

"Okay…" She says slowly, not really believing it. "Can you tell him to call me back once he's free?"

“I will… hey, Tessa, are you okay?”

"Yeah, I am. Are you? I'm sorry I didn't ask before."

He grins widely but keeps his voice neutral. “Yeah… I'm fine, don't worry about it.”

"Right. Where is Magnus now? Sleeping? He usually wakes up early but since today is his day off…"

“Ah, no… He's in the bathroom. Told me to take the call in case it was important. I _**am**_ his assistant after all, right?”

Tessa sighs. "Yeah, I guess you still are…"

“Are you sure everything's okay?” He asks again, confused by her demeanor.

"I don't know, that's why I need to talk to him."

“Oh… Okay. I will tell him then.”

"Thanks" She says before hanging up.

“Sure… Bye Tessa.”

**~o~**

Magnus exits the bathroom a few minutes later, his hair still dripping wet. “Everything okay, sayang?”

Alec smiles softly, at him loving the endearment. “I don't know. It was Tessa. She wants you to call her back. I… uhm didn't tell her what happened in case you didn't want to…” He looks at him, trying not to be too distracted. “Hey! I told you to dry your hair properly!” He says taking a step his way, catching a lock of wet hair between his fingers.

“I guess I will have to, she can be a bit over protective of me…” Magnus smiles as the boy touches his hair. “But I've got you now…”

He touches his face softly and whispers smiling. “Yeah… I'll watch over you…”

“I'd like that…” The singer leans on his hand, staring into his eyes enchanted.

Alec stares back but tries to resist this time knowing they have things to do. So he smiles playfully at him. “Good to know. Cause I'd do it anyway. Starting now. Sit down.” He gestures to the couch his hand still on his face giving him back his phone.

Taking the phone, he goes to sit on the couch as Alec ordered him to. “Okay. What now?”

He smiles at him again. “Wait.” He goes to raise the appartment heat so Magnus won't be cold and brings a towel and a blanket. He walks back to him, and can't help but stare at his chest as he does. _'So beautiful and flawless.'_ Finally he manages to peel his eyes off and says, now beside him. “As much as I'd love to have you walk around like that…” He admits blushing. “You need to wear something! So, here…” He gently puts the blanket on his shoulders, wrapping it around him. He lets him go and walks behind him, leaning to kiss his hair. “Wear that to keep you warm for now, while I dry your hair, okay?” He asks in a voice like talking to a child.

He loves that Alec's side, so caring and sweet… That's why he obeys. “You don't have to do that… Some clothes would do. I mean, I like what you're doing but if it's a bother for you…”

“Shh…” Alec whispers planting another kiss on his hair. “You couldn't be a bother even if you tried Mags… Why don't you call Tessa? She sounded weird on the phone…” He puts the towel on him, gently rubbing his hair to dry it. “Oh. Sorry.” It occures to him. “Do you want some privacy to talk? I can go…”

“No,” Magnus grabs his hand to reassure him that he's wanted. “Don't go. We're an item now so… no more secrets. Alright?”

He squeezes his hand smiling widely. “Alright.”

**~o~**

Smiling back, he looks at his phone's screen before giving in to call Tessa. “I have a plan though… Tessa?”

She sounds relieved to hear his voice when she answers with a "Hey."

“Hey…”

"Oh God, I'm so sorry… How are you holding up? Are you okay? You shouldn't be there… I could call Alec's sister again… You _**really** _ shouldn't be there after…"

“I know, Tessa. It's okay. I'm fine. It's not the first time I go through something like this, you know that. I'm used to it…”

"Nobody should be used to that. Mags, please…"

Her pleading tone almost makes him give up and tell her the truth. He knows how much Tessa cares about him and if he's hurting her… “Don't worry, okay? We'll talk tomorrow. I have that other interview at 9:00am, right?”

"Yeah, but I could cancel it…"

“No way. It's my work, Tessa. I have to do it.”

"You're right, sorry…"

“It's fine.” Magnus smiles. “Later then.”

"Later…"

Once he hangs up, he turns his head slightly around to look at Alec, biting his lower lip. “Now I feel bad. I should have told her the truth but I wanted to have some fun… and then BAM! The big revelation. I'm sure Tessa and Ragnor will be really happy for us… Unless you don't want to tell them, which is okay… I don't want to pressure you into doing something you don't want.”

Having dried his hair all he can, he leaves the towel on him and moves to sit beside him. “I want to…” He smiles, chuckling, still extremely happy. “I still haven't believed it myself. But what plan are you talking about? Have fun, how?”

“We go to work tomorrow in my car and then we act in front of them like we used to before we _**oh so**_ _**romantically**_ confessed our feelings...” Magnus says with sarcasm though he's still smiling. “The moment they snap at us… we'll kiss. How does that sound for you~? Silly, brilliant or a bit of both?” He chuckles.

* * *

 


	45. Practice makes perfect

“I like it! It's really going to be fun!” He chuckles too but then frowns. “Mags… I'm sorry… I ruined our first kiss by jumping you like that…” He sighs thinking about it.

Magnus shakes his head, leaning back to rest his body against Alec's. “It just happened, nobody's at fault… Yeah, our first kiss sucked but even so I kinda liked it because it was with **_you_**. That's what made it special.”

He snuggles closer to him too, wanting to feel his warmth. “I liked it… But I'm sorry it sucked for you… It really must have been awful compared with all the other kisses you've had. I'm no good… You should have just kissed me when we were at the hospital.” He mutters, smiling at the memory. “A kiss from you would have been far superior…” He says, wishing he could get a proper slow kiss from him while neither of them is half asleep.

He grimaces at his own choice of words. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that… Well, I did but…” He sighs, running a hand through his damp hair. “The kiss sucked because we were both angry and hurt… Nothing more. Your kisses are way better than the ones I had before our meeting. That I can assure you. So stop worrying about that and start thinking about future kisses… among other things~”

Alec blushes at that, though it's hard to believe that his kisses were _any_ good. “Okay…” He smiles. “How about teaching me how to be better too? I think you were about to do that before…” He adds, hiding his nervousness behind a smirk.

“Oh, you naughty angel…” Smirking too, he goes to kiss him but stops mid-way. “Though I'm not sure if that's a good idea since I'm **_so_** naked under the towel and this blanket…”

Alec's eyes widen with realisation and he blushes crimson. “I will go get you some clothes!” He says before getting up hastily.

Magnus chuckles at his embarrassment. “Yeah… You do that. We have to get going anyway.”

“Oh God… I'm awful. Chairman is starving and here I am distracting you! Do you want to come choose clothes? Or should I?”

“You aren't, and whatever is fine.”

“Okay… I will be right back!” He smiles and walks away from him, brushing his cheek with his fingertips as he goes. Then goes to his room and rummages the closet for some clothes Izzy got him once that he threw at the bottom and forgot about. It's a tight black pair of jeans and a blue, too tight shirt he knows would look great on Magnus. On him, not so much.

**~o~**

When Alec goes back to the living room, Gabriel is purring on Magnus' lap. “He's so like you… Adorable.” Grinning, he turns his head around staring thoughtfully at the cat's owner. “Want to change places? I really need to get dressed. I only like to be naked if there are other… purposes for it.”

“ ** _You_** are the adorable one.” Alec says before blushing again at the innuendo, and nods. “Okay. Here you go.” He hands him the clothes.

Magnus grabs the clothes, getting up. “Want a show~?” He teases before disappearing into Alec's room.

“Magnus!!!” He shouts after him blushing like crazy.

“Alexander!” The singer shouts back, the towel flying out the bedroom's door.

He stares at it frozen in shock as if it was going to bite him, images running through his head. “Damn you!” He mutters high enough to be heard. “Stop teasing…”

Magnus bursts out laughing, changing into Alec's clothes. “You love it!”

“Shut up!!!! Are you trying to kill me????” He shouts, embarrassed.

“Ye~p.” Teasing more, Magnus throws the blanket out the room too, even when he's already wearing clothes.

The boy huffs. “When I'm dead, good luck finding someone new to play Raziel!!!” He picks them up, smiling fondly, his back to the door.

“No one could replace you… Ever.” Magnus whispers in his ear. He went out of the room silently, wanting to surprise Alec.

Surprised, he jumps and turns around, coming face to face with him, and finds himself staring into his eyes, so close, their noses are almost touching. His heart is racing and he gulps, his throat suddenly feeling dry as he whispers. “Then… stop trying to cause me a heart attack…”

A predatory smile appears on Magnus’ face. “ ** _Make_** me…”

That smile makes his heart leap and he has to hold back to keep from kissing him. “Please?” Alec whispers.

“Please what…?” Magnus pushes.

“Kiss me…” The words slip his mouth even though that wasn't what he intended to say.

“Oh, Alexander…” Grabbing his face with both hands, he leans in to close the space even more and kiss him softly.

He drops the towel and blanket on the floor and wraps his arms around Magnus' neck, being careful to not be too rash as he kisses him back slowly.

Magnus cuts the kiss enough to whisper, eyes closed. “Follow my lead, babe. You're doing good…”

His lover’s voice sends shivers of pleasure down his spine and he leans to kiss him again, mimicking the way Magnus did before.

“So good…” He breaks the kiss, murmuring against Alec's throat, his hands wandering down his chest.

“Magnus…” He almost moans his name holding on to him, feeling his feet about to give out.

“Yeah…” He kisses the warm skin, wanting nothing but to keep going, kissing him everywhere, make him **_his._**

Alec moans softly, wrapping his fingers in his dark hair. “Mags… We… have… to…”

“I know…” He whines, out of breath like he ran a marathon.

“We can… continue later…” He whispers, because he knows they **_really_** have to go, even though all he wants is to pull him even closer and kiss him again.

Magnus nods, swallowing hard. “Alright… Are you ready to go?”

Alec pulls back a little staring into his eyes, his hands still on his hair. “No… Give me 5 minutes…”

"Okay, I'll wait here."

* * *

 


	46. Going home

“Thanks… Sorry…” Alec breathes letting him go and **_very_** reluctantly steps back finally taking his appearance in. “You look really good in those…” He smiles. “I knew they'd look better on you…”

Magnus looks down at himself, smiling. “Yeah… It's not so bad. I like them. But, you didn't buy them, did you?” He teases.

“Of course not!” He answers seriously. “Izzy got them for me, I never even wore them. Too tight for me.” He shudders. “For you on the other hand…” He trails off smiling, his eyes still taking him in.

“Too big, almost ridiculous. But… they're yours.” Magnus smiles.

“No they're not!” He pouts. “You look gorgeous as always…”

Shaking his head, Magnus crosses his arms over his chest. “Come on, it's late.”

“Sorry!” Alec jumps and runs off to get Gabriel's cage. “You sure you want to bring Gabriel along?” He calls from the other room.

“Sure. Or did you change your mind? If it's too much trouble…”

“It's okay…” He smiles returning and lets the cage down passing beside him, not pausing. “I'll go get dressed.” He announces and grabs some clothes heading to the bathroom, to take a lighting fast shower too.

“Can I watch~? You did so I assumed I could as well…”

Alec blushes. “That was an accident!!! You told me to come in!!”

“I don't like talking through doors, I'm coming in.” Magnus teases, laughing.

He jumps out of the shower, standing behind the door to keep it closed. “Don't you dare!” Even the cold water couldn't take the blush off his skin.

The singer laughs harder. “Are you standing naked behind the door just to not let me in? Brave… but careless.”

“Shut up! And you've seen me half-naked twice already, so we're even!!”

“Oh, we're **_so_** not… Come on, we're a couple now. Can't I peek. A bit~?”

“No!!!”

“Sooo boring…” Magnus fakes being annoyed.

Alec sighs putting a towel on, and opens the door just a bit, to peek at him. “Magnus!” He hisses. “Your cat is dying of starvation while you're being a pervert! Go put Gabriel in his cage!”

He looks him up and down, enjoying the blush on Alec's skin, while smirking. “Your loss~” Then he goes back to the living room, putting Gabriel on his cage.

“ ** _Definitely_** my loss…” He mutters, agreeing and goes back inside taking an extra quick and cold shower and getting dressed. Soon he exits the bathroom calling. “I'm ready, let's go.”

He stares at him longer than he intended. “You look so edible… Unfortunately, we have to go.”

 “I'm sure I don't… Let's go…” Alec blushes again muttering. “Oh.” He turns his back on him determined to take revenge for all the teasing before. “Just one more moment. Let me get my bike's keys. You will take Gabriel with you in the car, right?”

Magnus simply raises an eyebrow, looking at him like he grew another head. “You’re kidding, right?”

The boy looks at him, an angelic smile on his face. “Why would I be?”

Magnus crosses his arms over his chest. “You're not going to ride that infernal thing after what happened. I'll drive us there.”

Alec bites back a laugh. “What if I want to???”

“Let's say… there would be a problem.”

“What kind of problem?” He challenges.

“You will have to deal with an angry boyfriend.”

He smiles widely loving the word "boyfriend" and chuckles dropping the act. “Are you worried about me?? That's so sweet.”

Blinking a few times, he drops his arms. “For God's sake, Alexander, were you just **_acting_**?”

“Consider it "revenge" for teasing me.” He smirks.

Magnus sighs. “I should've seen it coming…”

Alec chuckles and then seems to remember something. “Oh. uh… Magnus?”

“Yeah…?” The singer asks, fearing the worst.

“Tonight… Are we sleeping to your house? Or you will bring me back?” He asks still unsure of what Magnus would want.

“For a moment there I thought you were…” He shakes his head. “It's nothing. Uh, yeah, we'll spend the night there. But if you want to sleep here, I'll drive you back. I don't mind.”

Alec looks at him confused by what he almost said. “Thought what?” He mutters before blushing. “I want to stay… if you want me… I just asked so I could take the portfolio with me this time.”

“Yeah, bring it with you. You will need to take some notes tomorrow. I have an important interview for the new single.”

“Okay…” He goes to bring it and returns wearing his jacket too. “Hey… Mags… Are you okay?”

Magnus smiles at him. “Yeah, just tired… Come on.” He opens the door for him, taking Gabriel's cage near it.

Alec touches his face softly, a little worried. “You should rest when we get to your home…” He takes the cage from him. “I will carry that.”

He tries to protest but he knows it'll be of no use. “Fine…”

He smiles shyly leaning to give him a peck on the cheek. “C'mon.”

“You need to rest too, so you'll be on my couch -or my bed, whichever you want- all day.” Magnus winks at him.

He blushes biting his lip, and grins. “As you wish Mr.Bane…”

“Oh, I **_wish_** for **_so much more_** … But there'll be time for that.” He smiles and goes downstairs, wanting nothing but to reach the car and go back home. He kind of misses his little kitty.

Alec locks the apartment and follows him down taking Gabriel with him.

“Oh, the take-out, right? You like chinese food?” Magnus asks before getting in the car.

“Yeah. I love it actually. We're going there first?”

He nods, starting the car and turning on the GPS. “Then we won't have to worry about that later. Lazy day, remember~?”

“Great.” Alec smiles. “It's going to be amazing…”

“Oh, totally. I'll instruct you about amazing fashion shows and everything.” The singer teases, knowing perfectly well that Alec can't stand them.

“Oh. Magnus, I just remembered I have something to do so I won't be able to stay…” He teases back.

Magnus fakes a sob. “Very well, then I'll watch them alone… with my cat… naked on my couch… so lonely…”

Alec blushes crimson and splutters. “Magnus!!! Oh my God!!! Stop putting images in my head!”

He chuckles, reaching to take his left hand. “Dirty mind… I like it.”

“What dirty mind? You spelled it out for me.” He mutters, still blushing.

“But you imagined it~” Magnus grabs his hand and squeezes it.

Alec squeezes back, loving his touch. “I did not!” He exclaims, the blush still prominent on his cheeks.

“You did, don't lie to me~”

“Shut up…” He mutters even more embarrassed.

Magnus laughs, then stops the car a few minutes later.


	47. Setting the record straight

“Okay, the Chinese restaurant is right there.” Magnus points at the building. “What do you want me to order for you?”

“Uhm…” He is about to tell him whatever is fine, but then remembers that Magnus said he likes his boys "decisive" and frowns. “Caramel chicken would do.”

Magnus tries hard not to laugh at his expression. He totally knows what passed through Alec's mind. Meanwhile. Alec who missed his reaction, drops his eyes, fiddling with the hem of his shirt nervously.

 _‘Oh God, he's so cute…’_ Magnus thinks to himself before grabbing his chin to make him look at his eyes. “Hey…”

Alec looks at him confused, losing himself in his beautiful eyes, waiting for him to speak.

“You know you can be yourself with me, right? I want you to be comfortable around me.”

He bites his lip dropping his eyes. “But…” He says in a low voice.

“But…?” Magnus asks, disappointed by that almost negative answer.

“You won't like me if I'm myself…” Alec says, his voice even lower.

“What stupidity are you babbling now? Alexander, look at me.” Magnus commands and Alec does, hesitantly, his eyes sad.

"I love you, sayang. I love you so much...” He leans in to peck him on the lips. “I love everything about you..."

“I love you too…” Alec whispers, his heart racing, Magnus’ words never failing to make him happy. “But **_you_** won't anymore, not when you see the real me… not if you hear the truth…”

“Darling, I have so much to hide too… We all have our secrets. But I want this, I want **_us_** … Do you…” He hesitates. “I mean, you still… want it too? Because if you don't, I get it. Then I'll try to keep my feelings for myself and be professional for once since I met you.”

“I want it.” He says with fervour. “I want **_you_**. Of course I do. I'm just scared you'll change your mind…”

“I won't, and I'm offended you think I will.”

Alec drops his eyes again and whispers. “I'm sorry…”

“You better be.” Magnus jokes with a tiny smile and that smile, even small, as always makes Alec feel better and he smiles a little too.

“You know I am.” He says reaching out, needing to touch him, to make sure he's really there.

He leans in, meeting his touch half-way. “I know, but you don't need to be…”

“I know too… But I can't help it… I'm annoying like that.” Alec jokes smiling a bit more.

 “I like your annoying side too.” Magnus winks at him.

“Thanks.” He blushes smiling in response.

“But I really need to go now. It's getting late and I have to pick up the food.”

“Ugh.” He hides his face in his hands. “I keep doing that! Holding you back. Why are you talking with me?? Go, go!”

Magnus chuckles. “I like talking to you! It's one of my favourite hobbies~” He kisses his hands before retreating. “I'll be right back.”

Both his words and sweet gesture make him blush more. “Be careful…” He mutters.

“It's right there.” He points at the Chinese Restaurant, just a few meters away, and Alec chuckles.

“Still.”

“Seriously.” He shakes his head, smiling, touching his face softly before getting out of the car, walking to the Restaurant.

Alec leans to his touch for the moment then sits back watching him as he goes, a smile on his face.

 


	48. Domesticity

A moment later, Alec's phone goes off with a call. A number he doesn't have on his contacts list.

He takes his eyes off Magnus to look at it confused, and picks it up. “Hello?”

"You destroyed my chances to become bigger in this world, I'll expose you and destroy what you love the most… Good luck trying to stop me, Alexander Gideon Lightwood." Someone whispers macabrely on the other side of the line, before ending the call.

“Wha-?” He whispers back in shock, not understanding. “Who…?” He mutters to himself having no idea what he did wrong and if the threat is serious. _‘Expose, how?’_ He thinks, immediately worrying about his siblings and Magnus. _(What he loves the most.)_

Five minutes later, Magnus appears holding a bag. Getting in, he turns to look at Alec, instantly knowing that something's wrong. The boy seems to be in shock. “Alec? Alexander, is everything okay?” He asks grabbing his shoulders, shaking him slightly.

Lost in thought he doesn't hear Magnus return until he touches him. He turns to look at him, still shocked and wondering about the call. “Mags…?”

“Yeah, it's me. Magnus.” He reassures him, worried. “What's wrong?”

“I… uh…” He shakes his head. “Nothing… it's okay… I…”

“It's not nothing, Alexander. Something is clearly bothering you. But if you don't want to talk about it…”

Alec snaps out of it and looks at him, really seeing him, realising how worried he is. “No, Mags, it's not that… I… I don't know what just happened… I got a call…”

“A call?” Magnus frowns. “What call? From your family or…?”

He frowns too muttering. “I don't know… An unknown number…”

“What did it say?”

Torn, he wonders if he should tell him. He doesn't want to worry him, but it may be about him too. Since he loves him. He decides to tell him just that. “I don't want to worry you…”

“I'm worried already, Alec.” His serious tone says so too. “But I guess it can wait… until we arrive to my loft.”

“Yeah… We should go. Chairman's waiting.”

Magnus nods, turning on the car. “But once we're there, we will talk.”

“Okay… We will. I'm going to need some coffee first.” He nods his head too laughing shakily.

Reaching for Alec's left hand, he leaves his own right hand there, to comfort him, while driving.

Alec smiles softly at the gesture, squeezing his hand momentary. “Thank you…” He whispers.

“Anytime, sayang.” He flashes him a smile before turning his attention to the front.

He smiles back at Magnus, looking at him as he drives, caressing his hand with his thumb, feeling calmer.

Not much later, they arrive. Magnus feeling more tired than before, his muscles a bit sore and a throbbing headache. Parking the car inside the building -in the underground parking-, he gets out and starts walking towards the stairway.

Alec takes Gabriel and follows him, noticing he doesn't seem very well, resolving to ask him about it later.

Once he opens the door of his loft and places a foot inside, a little ball of fur jumps into his arms. Chuckling, he hugs the tiny cat. “Hey, Chairman Meow… You missed me?”

He smiles watching him dreamily, deciding that Magnus with cats is possibly the most adorable thing in existence.

Petting the cat, he points Alec with the head to come inside while he goes to the kitchen to feed Meow.

He enters the loft carefully, still in awe despite everything, since this is Magnus' house, and leaves the cage on the floor, not letting Gabriel out yet. He heads to the kitchen too.

“Hey…” Magnus greets him, smiling once he’s there. “Come here.”

He smiles back, and goes to him, still a little hesitant.

He grabs him from the waist with a hand, the other still petting Meow, who is eating on the countertop. “I like it.” He comments out of the blue.

“Like… what?” Alec asks, his smile wider now, loving his affectionate gesture.

“The domesticity…” Magnus mutters not daring to look at him while saying that.

He leans on him a little, and kisses his shoulder, smiling. “I like it too…”

“Yeah…?” He glances at him through his eyelashes.

“Yeah…” The boy whispers, touching his face reverently. “Because it's you…”

Forgetting the cat is there, he manhandles Alec to sit him up on the countertop, getting between his legs and kissing him senseless. He feels at home with Alec. And it's an amazing feeling, one he cannot ignore.

He wraps his arms around his neck holding him close, kissing him back with enthusiasm. After all this time, he finally feels whole again. In this blissful moment, nothing hurts.

The world could burn right now and Magnus couldn't care less. There's only Alec in his mind. Alec and that perfect kiss, Alec and his body pressed against his own, Alec, just Alec, always Alec.

He wishes he could stop time and stay in that moment forever. But eventually they have to breathe and he pulls back, resting his forehead against Magnus' staring into his perfect eyes. “What was that for?” He whispers, still holding on to him.

Caressing his sides, Magnus smiles. “Do I need a reason to kiss you…?”

He sighs happily still looking at him. “No, you don't…”

“I had one though…” Magnus whispers, staring back at him.

“What was it?” He whispers back.

“I love you…” His thumbs draw shapeless figures on Alec's skin under his polo shirt.

His heart skips a beat and then speeds up like every time he hears the words fall from Magnus’ lips. No matter how many times he hears it, he cannot get enough. In a daze Alec reaches out to touch his beloved’s cheek a huge smile on his face, his blue eyes shining, lost in his emerald ones. And then **_he's_** the one kissing him breathlessly, wrapping his legs around him to bring him closer, trying to convey the extend of his love though actions since words can never be enough.

The new kiss takes him by surprise. It is passionate and full of promises and Magnus can't reciprocate fast enough. Everything is intense with Alec, almost **_magical_**.

He wants to hold him and never let go, and he does so, wrapping his arms tighter around him, softly caressing his skin, showering him with affection, as he kisses him with all the love and longing he kept inside for so long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That counter-top scene was our favourite! *-* We wish there was some fanart with something like that! Or a scene like it, in the show! *Heart eyes* ~Niennor


	49. We accept the love we think we deserve

They lose themselves in the kiss, exploring each other mouths with care, until Meow decides to step in, jumping on them. “Ouch! Damn cat…” Magnus jumps back as Chairman sinks his claws in his hand.

Alec almost loses his balance falling from the counter but manages to stay on, and then starts laughing uncontrollably, all the happiness he feels taking the form of hysteric giggles, bringing tears to his eyes.

Alec's contagious laughter gets to Magnus who starts laughing as well, leaning on the counter.

“You wanted domesticity…” The boy says, still chuckling, running his hand through his lover’s soft hair, leaning his way too.

Smiling widely, he replies back. “There's nothing more domestic than this.”

“Yeah…” He agrees smiling too, and then adds, looking at him with adoration, all his problems forgotten. “I love seeing your smile…”

“We're even then because I love seeing yours.” He winks at him, right before grabbing the bag and putting the contents on the countertop. “Are you hungry?”

Alec blushes, despite everything and nods. “Mm…” And then a "meow" resounds from the living room and he laughs again. “I forgot about Gabriel! Should I let him out?”

“Yeah, go on. Let the kitties get to know each other~”

“I hope they won't fight…” He says a little worried and gets off the counter, purposely brushing past Magnus as he goes.

“If you're worried about Gabriel… But I can assure you that Chairman Meow is a good cat. He wouldn't hurt a fly.”

“Gabriel is nice too.” He smiles. “But won't Chairman be jealous?”

“Jealous? Why would he?”

“Because there's a stranger cat in his house.”

“But he smells like you and… Oh, look at that.” Smiling softly, he points at the scene happening in the entrance. Chairman is sitting in front of Gabriel's cage, meowing. “I think he wants to play with him.”

“Oh.” Alec smiles too. “Chairman is really adorable. Just like his owner.”

Magnus shakes his head. “Look who's talking! Come on, let him out.”

He chuckles and goes, kneeling beside the cage petting Meow, and then opens it taking Gabriel in his arms. “Chairman, this is Gabriel.” He tells the kitty.

He kneels beside him, watching the interaction closely as Chairman pats Alec's arm to let him get a closer look.

Alec smiles widely at Chairman's "adorableness" and let's him climb on his arm to see Gabriel better.

Chairman meows and rubs itself against Gabriel, scent-marking him as its own.

Alec chuckles as Gabriel purrs, softly head butting Chairman and rubbing on him too.

He bites his lower lip, resisting the urge to do the very same with Alec. “Adorable…”

He looks up at him, and chuckles. “They really are.” Then he lets them both on the floor to interact freely and leans on Magnus.

Seeing the cats play together, he hugs Alec. “I knew they'd get along…”

He sighs happily. “I'm glad. I **_was_** a little worried… Cats are very territorial.” He chuckles nuzzling to Magnus' neck.

“Are **_you_** territorial…?” With that he's basically asking if he's jealous. He looks like he may be.

Alec smiles against his neck. “Mmm… maybe…”

“Well, you kinda demonstrated that with Matt **_that_** day…”

Alec pulls away from him to look at his face frowning. “This had nothing to do with jealousy! He insulted you!”

“But I suppose he told you **_certain_** things about me and him… in bed. Am I right?”

He blushes crimson and frowns more, muttering. “My point stands. I had no right to be "territorial" then… It's not why I did it.”

“I can assure you he wasn't **_that_** good, there's nothing to be jealous about. But I was **_blinded_** by other things… I was stupid, stupidly in love.”

 _'There's no way I'd be any better…'_ He thinks sadly. _'But at least I **love** you…'_ “How could you have been in love with that horrid person?” He asks, angry for all the pain that monster caused him.

Magnus sighs, dropping his eyes. “He wasn't anything like that at first, he fooled me with bouquets, dinners, kisses and smiles… He "sweet-talked" me to gain fame. That I learned after he broke up with me the day I proposed to him. He let his façade fall… I hated myself for falling into his lies, and swore I wouldn't fall again.” He explains, in an artificial tone.

Alec hugs him tightly, wishing he could take his pain away, his heart constricting at what his last words imply. “ ** _Nothing_** is your fault Mags… Please don't hate yourself…” He wants to ask how could he not tell, if Matt refused to stay, as Magnus told him before. How could he think he loved him, when he wouldn't even spend the night with him. When he wouldn't hang around any more than "needed"… But he doesn't ask, because he doesn't want to remind him again and cause him more pain…

“I'm just angry, you know?” He's not really corresponding to the hug, but his head is resting on Alec's shoulder. “I let him do **_that_** to me… I was a fool. But it's over. And I'm glad I found you…”

He squeezes him tighter, gritting his teeth. “It's not your fault… You said it yourself. You were blinded…” He sighs. “I'm angry too… I won't ever let him hurt you again. And this is not about territory either. It's about protecting you…”

“You already did enough, I cannot ask you for more.”

“Magnus.” He says with fervor. “You can ask me for **_anything_**. I **_love_** you. There is **_nothing_** I wouldn't do for you. I would gladly even kill the bastard. I'm barely holding back from doing that, actually…”

“And go to jail because of that bastard? Come on, Alexander, you're smarter than that…”

He sighs. “The only reason I haven't done it yet is because I promised not to leave you alone… And because I didn't want to lose you so soon… Otherwise it would be so worth it… Greater good and all.”

“No, it wouldn't. Alexander.” He moves away to look at him. “Promise me you won't do anything like that. I don't want you destroying your life because of me. I'm not worth it.”

“Oh I get it now. That's why then.” He says sighing again, and quotes. " _"We accept the love we think we deserve."_ Was that partly why you stayed with them? Thinking that nonsense????” He asks, upset. “Not **_worth_** it?? Magnus, you have **_no idea_**. You are worth **_so much_**. You are worth **everything**!! And if you don't believe me… I told you before. You saved my life. Isn't that worth something? And it's the least of the reasons you are worth the world.”

“I'm only human, Alexander.” He stares at him with a serious expression. “And not a policeman or a firefighter but a simple singer. I don't deserve anybody to sacrifice for my sake and I don't **_need_** it. I mean it.” Getting up, he goes to the living room to pour himself a drink from the mini-bar.

His words feel like a knife in his heart. Not only hearing Magnus talk like that, but also essentially saying he doesn’t need anyone. “I meant it literally, you know?” He mutters looking down, loud enough for him to hear. “I didn't just say it to comfort you… I was going to…” He sighs cutting himself off. “Your music and your voice… **_Really_** , literally, saved me. Pulled me back from the edge, so to say.” He chuckles mirthlessly at his own pun.

Taking a sip of the vodka he just poured in a glass and making a face at the taste, he sighs after hearing Alec's words. “I didn't say I wasn't glad. And I'm sure there's more people like you, but I'm not that important. I just…” He takes another sip. “I'm never enough…” He mutters, sadly.

Alec sighs sadly that he practically dismissed his words and gets up, going beside him, touching him softly. “Oh Mags… What can I do to convince you? You are more than enough…”

He shakes his head. “Forget it, that's never gonna happen. But you…” Magnus turns around to look at him and grabs both his hands. “You're alive and that's what matters. If it's thanks to me or not, that's secondary. You're alive and here with me in my loft, sharing the same air as me… I couldn't ask for more.”

“I won't rest till I make you believe it.” He smiles sweetly but sadly at him. “But I'm glad you're at least a little happy.”


	50. First of many things

Smiling back, Magnus gives his hands a little squeeze before letting go. “Let's eat, it's almost 3pm.”

“Okay…” Alec mutters following him, wanting nothing more than to convince him he's telling the truth. Wanting nothing more than to help and heal him.

“Could you grab Meow's bowl and put it on the floor?” He says, busying himself with the Chinese food, setting it on the table. “I don't really like it when he eats on the counter…”

“Sure.” He does as he’s told, then returns to him. “Need any help?”

“Just take a pair of plates and glasses out of the cabinet, thanks.” He smiles briefly at him.

“Okay…” He passes by him leaning to kiss his shoulder wishing to cheer him up a bit, then goes to get them.

That **_does_** cheer Magnus up, who slaps Alec in the ass as he goes. “Oops, my hand slipped~”

“Magnus!!!” He blushes crimson rushing off to the kitchen.

The singer laughs. “You're so easy…”

Alec returns with the stuff, his cheeks still stained crimson. “I hate you.”

“No, you don't.” He's waiting for him, already sitting on the table.

He bites his lip going to him, laying down the plates. “How do you know?” He smirks.

He shrugs, smiling up at him. “I just know.”

Alec drops the smirk and smiles at him. “I'm glad you do…”

Magnus snorts, grabbing some sweet and sour pork. “Come on, eat.”

The boy playfully sticks his tongue out to him. “Fine.” He says before sitting down and starting eating too.

“So childish~” He throws a bit of rice at him.

Alec giggles. “And you're not???”

“Absolutely not, I'm a~ll good manners.”

“Oh is that so??” He teases, a big smile on his face.

“What, you don't believe me? That **_hurts._** ” He fakes being offended.

Alec studies him for a moment raising an eyebrow wondering if he's still joking.

He mimics his gesture, chewing on his food, until it finally dawns on Alec, and he blushes again. “You're messing with me again!! Dammit Magnus!!”

Giggling, he tries a spring roll as well. “I love your outrageous expression.”

The boy blushes more, muttering. “You tease…”

“If you don't start eating I'll do it for you, I'm **_canine_**.”

Chuckles again, 'stabbing' a piece of chicken and offering it to him smirking. “Go ahead.”

“Oh, so we're on **_that_** phase, huh?” He takes the bite very slowly, without taking his eyes off Alec.

He hadn't thought that through and now stares back at him enchanted, muttering mesmerised. “What phase…?”

“Feeding each other.” Magnus answers after swallowing the chicken.

His face is stained red as he keeps staring, unable to take his eyes off. “I…”

“I don't mind, you know? You are being my first of so many things, Alexander…”

“I… am…?” He bites his lip looking at him entranced, part of him wondering how did he understand he was about to apologise.

“Why do you look so surprised?”

He blushes nervously not knowing how to phrase it, afraid Magnus might take it wrong. “You… are more experienced… I didn't think there would be anything you haven't done… Anything to still impress you…” He added the last part looking away.

He glances at him before grabbing another spring roll. There were too many for two people. “Yeah, well… What can I say, I'm human.” He shrugs. “I already experienced so many first things with you… I expect to experience many more.”

Alec can't help the big smile spreading on his face. “Like what?” He asks wishing to know more about the man he loves.

“Are you asking me about the ones I experienced or the ones I expect to?”

“Mmm…” Still smiling, he finally tastes the food, his eyes never leaving Magnus' “I was asking about what you have already experienced… But I'd love to know what you expect too… I want to know more about you…” He softly voices his thoughts.

“That's good…” Magnus says softly, swallowing a bit of the spring roll he just cut. “You staying in my loft that day was a first, then you feeding me today… About the ones I want to experience with you, I know I'll sound like a sappy person but I'd love to wake up every morning with you sleeping by my side, you know? Hearing you snore, staring at your beautiful face until you open your gorgeous blue eyes and stare back at me… I'd like to go out with you someday, go to the cinema, hold hands like a normal couple… Those kind of things.” He ends muttering, his eyes fixed in Alec's.

He bites his lip feeling his heart swell with happiness and love. “I would love that too… You are my first of so many things too… I've never kissed or stayed with anyone that wasn't family through the night before… I've never lo-” He bites his lip harder, blushing. “I've never loved anyone like that before…”

Stretching out his hand over the table for Alec to take it, he smiles. “Me too… I know I talked about Matt as if I was madly in love with him but that wasn't the case at all. I was desperate to be loved. I was feeling lonely and then I met him… But with you is different, you're different, special. It's like I couldn't spend a single second without you.”

Alec takes his hand immediately when he reaches out, and looks into his eyes as he speaks, his blue eyes widening by the end. He's **_dying_** to get up and kiss him but he somehow manages to hold back. “Magnus…” He whispers, his voice trembling with emotion. _'Oh my God, I love you so much…'_ “I…” He squeezes his hand. “I feel… the same. You're so important to me… So precious…”

Magnus leans in to kiss his hand. “You too… You have no idea.”

His heart skips a beat at Magnus' words, the sweetness of the gesture sending him reeling and he has to hold himself back again to not rush to his side. Instead he just smiles brightly at him. “I can't believe I'm that lucky… It's surreal.”

Magnus chuckles, squeezing his hand. “Same here. It's like I won the lottery or something.”

Alec chuckles too, still holding his hand tightly, feeling genuinely happy at last, and then he remembers something and his eyes widen a little, his cheeks turning red again. “Um… Mags??” He asks hesitantly.

“Yeah…? What's wrong?” He's suddenly worried at the change in Alec's behaviour.

“Do I really snore???” He asks, mildly terrified.

He can't help but burst out laughing until his eyes sting with tears, his make up half-ruined. “No, you don't. I was just kidding.”

Alec breathes a heavy sigh of relief. “Thank God…” He smiles softly loving to see him laugh like that, looking so happy. Alec wishes that nothing will ever disrupt Magnus' happiness ever again…

Wiping away a tear, he smiles back. “Silly…”

He smirks. “You know, if I really did, I would have probably never slept with you again, no matter how much I loved it.”

“Even if you did, I wouldn't mind.”

“But **_I_** would! My nightmares waking you up is one thing… But **_snoring_**????” His eyes widen with dread. “Horrible!”

Shaking his head, he caresses Alec's hand with his thumb. “Nah, it wouldn't be that bad…”

“But…” He starts arguing, though he's smiling, and is interrupted by his phone ringing. He pales as the memory of the threatening call, that was long forgotten in the joy of the moment, resurfases.

Magnus notices that right away but doesn't comment on it. “Aren't you taking it…? It could be your sister.”

“I… yeah…” He hastily gets up, taking his hand off Magnus' feeling the loss of his touch immediately, and heads to his jacket to get his phone, trying to hide his slightly trembling hands. “Hello?” He asks once he picks up.


	51. The Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! We're really sorry about the delay! Something came up Wednesday and we couldn't update until now! ://

"Alec!" A familiar voice answers him and he sighs in relief, leaning against the wall and sliding to sit on the floor.

“Hey Jace, what's up?”

“Nothing, just wanted to check on you, is everything ok?"

Alec turns to look at Magnus, and despite his former fear, he smiles immediately when meeting his eyes. “Yeah.” He answers. “Everything is **_perfect._** ”

Jace chuckles. "That's new. Guess I'll leave you to it then. Catch you later bro."

“Yeah… see ya.” Alec says and hangs up, absently reaching to pet Gabriel who came up to him once he sat on the floor.

“Don't even think for a moment I'll ignore what I just saw.” Magnus says, coming from behind him, startling him. “ ** _That_** back there was **_pure_ _terror_**. You have some explaining to do.”

He jumps, surprised by Magnus' voice, scaring Gabriel who runs off. “Mags…” He whispers looking up at him, not knowing if he should tell him, but really wanting to.

“I want honesty, Alexander. No more lies.”

He sighs averting his eyes and gets up from the floor, then looks at him and smiles shakily. “Could I have a drink first?”

“A drink?” He frowns. “I didn't know you…”

“I did… I don't anymore, but I kinda need one now… Coffee would do too, but something stronger would be better.”

Magnus runs a hand through his hair. “That bad…?”

He sighs. “I really have no idea… I could really use your help…” He says lowly, brushing his fingers over Magnus' hand.

Taking his hand and squeezing it a bit, he says softly. “I'm here to help… Sit on the couch, I won't take long.”

He nods squeezing back. “Thank you…” He then lets go reluctantly and heads to the couch, absently hugging a pillow as he thinks of what to say to him.

Just a few minutes later, Magnus appears with two glasses and a full bottle of whiskey. Sitting right next to Alec, he holds out one of the glasses. “Here.”

“Thank you…” He says again taking the glass. “That was Jace on the phone.” He adds, thinking he might as well start from somewhere before he regrets it.

“Right,” Magnus pours Whiskey in both glasses. “and that's relevant because…?”

He sips at the drink making a face. “It isn't… His call just reminded me of the one before. Once we got here… Being with you made me forget about it…” He takes another sip and looks away. “I'd never been this happy before… I was distracted…”

His eyes never leave Alec's face while he talks, seeing the seriousness of the situation. “The call you mentioned in the car before… Who was it, Alexander? What did they want?”

“I… I don't know… I'm not even sure it wasn't a prank or something… I know I shouldn't worry you, but…”

“If it's enough to make you drink like that…” Magnus didn't even touch his own drink. “Tell me what they said.”

He laughs mirthlessly. “You haven't seen me **_drink_**. But that's irrelevant too.” He sighs again. “I think it was a man. He said… **_‘You destroyed my chances to become bigger in this world, I'll expose you and destroy what you love the most… Good luck trying to stop me, Alexander Gideon Lightwood._** _’_ ” He quotes the stranger's words, looking at Magnus as he does, gauging his reaction.

His expression suddenly hardens and he gulps the Whiskey down, almost breaking the glass by the force applied on it. “Fucking Hell…! I **_knew_** he would try something…”

“What?” Alec asks, having half a mind to tell him not to drink like that. “Who? Magnus, do you know who could it be?”

He huffs a bitter laugh. “Oh, I know **_him_** too well… You too. Not that well but you do…”

“I do?” And then it occurs to him, since there is only one man they both knew that would have reason to threaten him. “Matt??”

Magnus clenches his teeth. “ ** _Matt_** …”

Alec takes another sip of the drink, processing the information. “He said…” _‘what you love the most…’_ He's instantly even more worried. “Magnus! Could he know, about… us? You're in danger too, if so!!”

“So…"

“So??” Alec asks.

“So, I think we need to take care of Matt…” He says, rubbing a finger along the rim of his glass “I could talk to him…”

“Talk to him???? No!” He exclaims. “He may not know about us yet! If you talk to him it will become obvious. I don't want you in **_any_** kind of danger! Mags, I…” He stops midsentence paling again as he remembers his last encounter with Matt. “Oh God… I think he knows already…”

“How do you know? Because of that call or…? Is there anything else you haven't told me?”

“I…” He blushes and picks up his drink sipping at it. “um…”

Magnus raises both eyebrows, waiting. “You…?”

“You… Uh… You don't know the whole story of what happened back then…” He mutters blushing more, really not wanting to say that, but knowing he has to. It might be important in order to protect Magnus.

He sighs, leaning back on the couch, the glass securely in his right hand. “I'm all ears.”

“Let me start by saying that was **_not_** the reason I punched him either… I would never do that just because you wouldn't choose me…” _'Even if it killed me…'_ “I'm not that vain…” He sips at his drink again, which is almost empty by now.

“Alright…” He says slowly. “Go on. Continue.”

He's impossibly red now, too embarrassed from what he's about to say. He downs the rest of the drink and mutters. “Back at the restaurant… He taunted me saying… I was only… a boy-toy for you… That I… I'd never be… in your bed…” He's too embarrassed to even look at him anymore. “So… he must at least suspect my…uh… feelings for you?”

“ ** _How dare he_** …?” Magnus hisses enraged. “Also, I can't believe he noticed that and I didn't…”

“He must have realised when I "fled" the hall, because I was unable to take your flirting with him anymore…” He whispers still blushing and unable to look at him.

“Maybe that's why… I couldn't focus in anything else but my personal vendetta. I'm sorry, Alexander. I'm so sorry…”

Alec looks up at him surprised. “Please don't apologise! You did nothing wrong… Buy it makes sense now… Even Tessa saw right through me… I must have been really obvious…” He blushes again averting his eyes.

“Not to me. I thought…” He sighs, dropping his own eyes to his glass, still practically full. “I thought so many things…”

He looks up at him hesitantly reaching out to touch his hand. “What did you think?”

“At first, I thought that you were heterosexual because no matter how hard I tried to make you **_see_** me, you just…” Magnus interrupts himself, shaking his head. “Then I thought you just weren't interested in me that way. And it hurt me even more.”

“I'm so sorry I hurt you… So I was right… It really was my fault that you were so upset. I'm sorry…But… ‘see’ you???? Magnus, I couldn't take my eyes **_off_** you! Do you have any idea how many times I had to hold back to not touch you?”

“I'm guessing the same amount as me…” He chuckles.

“Really?” He smiles softly. “Cause I was certain too that you hated me. You wouldn't even look at me most of the time.”

“Really.” He smiles too. “Hate you? That was me trying to put space between us.”

“I would ask why would you do that, but then again maybe it was for the best. The first time we met, when you pulled me that close to you, I almost had a heart attack.” He chuckles softly, to hide his embarrassment.

Magnus bites his lower lip. “I'm sorry for that, if you felt as if I was being pushy… That wasn't really my intention. It's just that…” He pauses for a moment. “I'm not sure if I should be honest with you.”

“Pushy??? Did you hear me complain?? Magnus, trust me, I loved **_every_** second. That is, when I didn't think you were just messing with me… Please be honest with me… I want to know… You said it yourself. _‘ **We're a thing now.’**_ ” Alec smiles softly blushing and whispers. “Right? No more lies. You can tell me **_anything_**.”

He chuckles. “Yeah, I know… It's just… difficult to say. It's not bad, definitely not bad. But… it says a lot about how much I like you…”

“Oh?” He smiles at him blushing more, still unable to believe he really likes him. “I'd love to hear it…”


	52. My muse

Magnus snorts, then relaxes a bit. “You remember the day we met? I was having a hard time trying to finish ‘Raziel’… but then I saw you, and the lyrics… suddenly appeared in my mind, so clear and **_perfect_** … just like you.”

Alec stares at him, his blue eyes wide. “W-what? You… you mean that? You said it before… but I thought… I… Magnus…” He mutters at a loss for words, not believing **_he_** could inspire something so beautiful.

“There's no doubt that the song was made for **_you_** … so it is just fair you starring in the music video, as Raziel, my angel and muse.” He says softly.

“Made… for me…? Magnus…” He whispers, his voice hoarse with emotion. “I… **_Your_** …?” He's at a complete loss again as he stares at him frozen, feeling his heart swell with happiness at his words. His Angel… The endearment makes him unbelievably happy, but even more than that… **_His_** muse… Magnus'… Whose music was always so important to him. Whose music literally saved his life… He feels so happy he could die. He tries to say something but has no words to describe his overwhelming emotions. Hearing that Magnus wrote a song for him is just too much. That he loves him so much to be inspired by him… “Oh God, I love you so much.” He finally chokes out, and giving up on words altogether and going for actions instead, he wraps his arms around his neck tightly, kissing him breathlessly, pouring all the love he feels for him into the kiss.

He studies Alec's body expression while he talks, trying to figure out what he's feeling. Magnus instantly sees his blue eyes widen, not shocked but surprised. He doesn't smile but somehow Magnus knows that Alec is happy. Or maybe it's the kiss that gives it away. Either way, he reciprocates the best he can, putting everything he has into it.

“What…” He whispers between kisses holding on to him. “What did I… ever… do… To deserve you??”

He shakes his head, Alec's face between his hands. “Stop asking that…”

He looks into his beautiful eyes and smiles, giving him one more quick kiss. “Okay…”

Magnus smiles back, caressing his face before dropping his hands. “Now, we need to talk.”

The boy smiles. “Why? I liked what we were doing before…”

“Oh?” He raises an eyebrow. “So honest all of a sudden… Who are you and what did you do with **_my_** Alexander?”

 ** _“Your_** … I like the sound of that very much…” He purrs, then chuckles raising his empty glass instead of an answer, (to show him what happened to _his_ Alexander).

 ** _“Mine_** …” He smirks, sipping at his own glass.

“ ** _All yours_**.” He says looking intently at him. “To do with as you like… Now, can I get another drink before we resume our talk?” He smirks.

Magnus bites his lower lip. “Not sure… Are you getting drunk on purpose, Alexander?”

He thinks about it for a moment. “No. that wasn't my intention I promise…”

“Seriously? Because that's what it looks like, you're kinda wasted right now.” He chuckles.

“I'm not wasted!” He pouts. “You're exaggerating! I'm just drunk in your presence…” He croons, smiling charmingly.

Magnus snorts hard. “Oh wow, that was the worst pick up line I've ever heard.”

“You're **_so_** mean!!!” Alec exclaims and starts chuckling. “I meant it!! You really **_are_** intoxicating…” He huffs, still smiling. “But okay… Let's get serious. We have many things to talk about…”

“Intoxicating or intoxicated? Because I admit you're both but right now you're the second.” He keeps teasing him.

“I am intoxicated, because **_you_** are intoxicating silly.” Alec chuckles leaning close and pecking his lips.

He chuckles too, kissing him back. “I like this **_new_** you better…”

“I knew you would…” He says sobering up a little. “I'm less boring this way, right?”

The singer rolls his eyes. “You're not boring, you're shy and cute. **_Now_** you're being… adventurous and passionate.”

Alec blushes. “Are we still talking about me…?”

“No, I'm talking about my hot neighbour~”

“Is that so??” He pouts. “Am I keeping you from them?”

“Yeah, you are.” He says, solemnly.

He pouts more. “I'm really sorry Mr.Bane. I will leave then.” He makes a move to get up and turn away.

“Awn, are you going? I was about to introduce you two! Aren't you curious…?”

He slits his eyes at him. “No.”

With a lopsided smile, Magnus gets up and holds a hand for him to take. “Please?”

 _'Oh God… so unfair… How am I supposed to resist you when you smile like that??'_ He thinks giving him his hand immediately, staring into his emerald eyes. “Fine…” He mutters trying to sound cross but failing miserably, and sounding smitten instead.

He leads him to his bedroom then, where there's a pier glass next to the bed. Pulling Alec in, he stops him right in front of the mirror. “So, this is **_him_**. What do you think?”

He looks at himself in the mirror. “Doesn't look so hot to me…” He mutters blushing, referring to Magnus' previous words.

“Wha-?”  Magnus looks dumbfounded. “You’re kidding, right? He's the hottest man I've ever met in my life! Don't you dare insult him!”

Alec blushes even more. “Magnus… That's just ridiculous. I thought we wouldn't lie to each other…”

He raises an eyebrow. “Now you're insulting **_me_**.”

He looks at him guiltily. “But…”

Magnus sighs, stepping back. “Alright, magic's gone. Back to reality…”

He drops his head, staring at the ground, and whispers guiltily, hating he was the cause of that. “I'm sorry…”

“Babe…” He hates seeing him like that so he goes from behind and hugs him, resting his head against his shoulder blades. “Don't apologize…”

He sighs loving his comforting touch, and puts his hands over Magnus'. “But I always ruin everything…”

“Nah…” He smiles, caressing one of his hands with a thumb. “That makes this relationship interesting.”

Alec chuckles darkly. “My uselessness? It's such a stark contrast to your perfection…” Ηe whispers leaning back on him.

Magnus kisses his shoulder over the sweater. “My **_perfection_** doesn't exist… But you, **_this_** , is real.”

“Of course it does…” He sighs again, feeling content and blissful by his touch. “Real… I still can't believe it…”

He chuckles, kissing his neck then. “You should… It's happening.”

The boy smiles moving his head to give him better access. “It really is… You are a dream come true…”

“You are mine too…” Magnus mouths at his warm skin. “The one I've been dreaming about all these nights…”

Alec moans softly, daring to believe his words. “Magnus…” He breathes, and then remembering what he told him before, says, “There will be no more lonely nights… I will be here for you… I won't leave you alone…”

He bites a little, wanting to mark him. “If you really mean it… Live here with me.” _‘_ _Or is it too soon for that…? But I feel like he's the one. I **know** he is.’_

He bites his lip to suppress another moan, and then his eyes widen at his beloved's next words. “Ma…gnus… But… are you sure…? You barely know me…”

“Well, you don't… know me either. But we can make it work. Right?” _‘It has to_. _’_ He thinks to himself.

Alec leaves his arms then and turns to face him, missing his touch immediately, but wishing to look into his eyes as he takes his face in his hands softly caressing his cheek. “Yes…” He whispers staring at him with all the love of the world. “We can. And I know it's early, but I'd love that… And I know…” He repeats. “We both **_need_** it. Right?”

Magnus simply nods, taking in his words, his touch and everything really. He just can't believe it. “Yeah… We do. You have no idea how happy you make me, Alexander…”

He smiles softly at him, his heart fluttering. “Not as happy as you make me…” He whispers, leaning to touch their foreheads.

The singer chuckles, closing his eyes at the tender gesture. “I'm happy if you're happy…”

Alec chuckles softly too. “We have so many things in common already.”

He giggles. “Of course we do.”

He smiles looking at him, finally so close, relishing in the feeling for as long as he can before they have to return to reality.


	53. Analysing the threat

Magnus caresses his face. “It's getting late and we work tomorrow…”

“But we still haven't talked about it… What are we going to do about Matt? And Raziel…?”

“I don't know, Alec. It's so… frustrating not knowing his plan…” He sighs. “About Raziel, tomorrow there's an interview, and we both will be interviewed.”

“What?????” He almost shouts, shocked, forgetting about Matt and the threat momentary. “ **Both**???? Me too???” He adds, terrified at the mere thought. “Why **_me_**????” He whines.

“Because you punched Matt.” Magnus says smiling mischievously.

“Wh-what? Why? Do people know about that??”

“No~pe. Just you, me, Tessa, probably Ragnor too… Did you tell your siblings?”

Alec blushes. “Ah… yeah… I told Izzy… But she wouldn't tell anyone… So why would I be interviewed about that???”

Magnus rolls his eyes at him. “You won't be interviewed about you punching the hell out of Matt, that was me teasing you.”

“Again?!?” He exclaims not believing he keeps falling for it. “Then what for???” He adds still not getting it. “Why? I'm **_no one._** _”_

“You are in the Raziel photoshot with me, and you will be starring in the videoclip as well.”

“ ** _Oh_**. But what does Matt have to with…” He says before realisation dawns on him. “Oh… Right. I punched him so he **_can't_** be Raziel anymore… I'm sorry… He would have probably been a better choice… Though…” He grits his teeth. “That means he would get his filthy hands on you again… Bet he would love that.” A shadow passes over his eyes and he falls silent as he thinks back to Magnus' words when he told him he would have slept with Matt that night if things had been different.

Magnus notices Alec's change of expression and grabs his hands, worried he may think he isn't what he wants. “Hey, no… He won't touch me, ever again, you hear me? Because I'm with you now, and even if I was not, he hurt me… And I know what I told you before about revenge but… I know it was stupid. That would have never worked.”

“I…” He he drops his eyes. “I just don't understand… Revenge or not it all just seems wrong… If you… love someone else…”

“It didn't matter at the time… I was seeking revenge for what he did to me.”

“But **_how_** is that revenge Mags??” Alec exclaims looking up at him. “He would have just used you again and left, and you'd be the one being hurt in the end while he went on with his life.”

“What? You think I'd be **_that_** stupid? I'd have been the one using him, not the other way around.”

“No… Of course you're not stupid. But you are too kind and loving… And he didn't care about love. He even told **_me_** , a stranger what he intended to do with you.” He grits his teeth again remembering everything. “Which is **_why_** I punched his lights out. He also even said he'd be into **_me_** if I wasn't a nobody, unlike you. How can you hurt someone **_that_** heartless?? All he cared about was fame, and… Oh.” He stops again, all the pieces clicking together. “I get it now.”

Magnus looks at him pained, he knows Alec is right, of course he knows. But he won't admit it aloud. “What do you get?”

Seeing his sad expression he takes his face in his hands. “I'm sorry… I didn't want to cause you pain by bringing it up…”

“It's okay…” He says avoiding his gaze. “Just tell me what did you get.”

“It's not…” He sighs, vowing to make it up to him later. “He said I destroyed his chances to become bigger in this world. It must be because he can't play in the video now… Though… I still don't get what he meant by exposing me…” He mutters worried.

He sounds worried too as he says. “Outing you…? Our relationship? It can't be anything else…”

“If I'm going to stay with you I have to be out. I don't mind, my parents know already… And they don't like it. But…” He whispers, touching his face softly. “I'm scared… I don't want whatever it is to harm **_you_** … I have to protect you…”

“He won't touch me, I told you…” Magnus sighs softly. “I know this is new for you, but you need to be strong…”

“He won't touch you literally… But… Mags, he mustn't learn about us… He said he'll destroy everything I love… I don't care about me… But if anything were to happen to **_you_** …”

“Well, seems like we agree on that… We both want to protect the person we love.”

Alec smiles at him, his heart swelling with joy as he touches his face again. “I love you so much…”

“That’s mutual as well…” He smiles back, putting his hand over Alec's. “Trust me, it is.”

He bites his lip trying to smother the huge smile on his face. “If you say so… I trust you.”

He nods, smiling. “You better.”


	54. First Date

Magnus nods, smiling. “You better. Now, are you hungry? Because I am…”

“Yeah… We got distracted again.” He chuckles softly.

“I could prepare us something. What do you like?” He asks while walking out of the room.

Alec follows him. “I would love anything **_you_** make…” He says truthfully. “But I don't want you to get tired…”

“Tired?” He enters the kitchen and starts rummaging through the fridge looking for something edible. “It's my first day off in… **_ages_**. Literally. I'm loving every second of it. Even more in your company.”

Alec sits on a stool, looking at him smiling, his head on his hands. “You should take a break more often. It's not good for your health to work that much…”

“Work was the only thing I knew… until now.” He smiles at him, then goes back to his quest.

This statement makes him both happy and sad and he just stares at him, watching, admiring his every move, taking it all in, with a soft smile on his face, vowing to do everything and anything to take care of him and make him happy.

After a moment he ends up finding some steaks and a bag of potatoes for frying. “Well… That's all I have. Next step: cooking. I will need to go shopping soon…”

“Do you need help?” Alec finally asks snapping out of his lovesick trance. “Or maybe I could go shopping while you cook? So you won't have to?”

He looks warily at him, after everything that happened with the bike accident and Matt's call. “I- I'm not sure… You could stay and help me here, we could go shopping tomorrow after work.”

“As you wish.” He smiles getting up, but then frowns seeing his expression. “Is something wrong?”

Magnus bites his lower lip, looking away. “No, it's okay. Come, I need you to fry those potatoes while I get the steaks ready.”

“Magnus.” He says walking closer, not buying it, and getting worried. “Talk.”

He sighs, giving up. “Okay, but I still need you to make those potatoes.”

“I will. Give me.” He says reaching out. “But meanwhile tell me what's wrong please.” He adds picking up a knife and waiting.

He gives him the bag and leans against the countertop. “I'm just… worried. With the accident and Matt threatening you…”

“Oh. Don't be, Mags…” He says trying to sound cool about it, as he starts peeling. “The accident won't happen again, and as for Matt…” He sighs. “Truth is, I don't know… But I doubt he'd try anything while I was at the grocery shop, right?” He smiles at him.

Shrugging it off, Magnus starts making the steaks. “I don't trust him so we'll go together and that's final.”

He smiles more, loving that he's so worried about him, proof he really loves him, and chuckles softly before teasing to lighten the mood. “Okay. No need to be so bossy, boss.”

“Oh yeah, mock your boss. That'll cost you…”

He fakes a gasp. “Cost me what???? Will you fire me???”

“Nope, it'll cost you… to be lashed.” He smirks.

“Is that some kind of dirty talk again?” He blushes focusing his eyes on the potatoes.

“Mmmm… I'm afraid so.” Magnus keeps smirking.

“You know I know nothing about that stuff right?” He mutters blushing more.

"But you guessed pretty well~~~"

Alec blushes even more peeking at his smirking face. “Your face was confirmation enough! Pervert.” He adds hiding a smile.

“What's wrong with my face? You love my face!” He exclaims, falsely outraged.

The boy laughs aloud at his antiques. “Oh I do. Very much. It's the most gorgeous face I've ever seen. Make-up or not.”

“Have you seen me without make-up? Oh my God, I can't imagine what you thought of me…”

He leaves the knife down and looks into his eyes. “I thought you are the most breathtakingly beautiful person I have ever seen.” He answers sincerely, with no hesitation.

Magnus looks suddenly shy but pleased. “Better than with make-up…?”

“Much better.” He smiles softly. “You look gorgeous with it too, but you don't really need it.”

“Oh but I do.” He sighs dramatically. “People won't like me if so.”

“Nonsense. How could anyone **_not_** like you? Not to mention, you're a singer right? It's your voice that matters not appearance.”

He raises both eyebrows. “It's as if you don't know anything about this world, Alexander… Looks are **_everything_**.”

He sighs frowning a little. “Maybe I don't…”

“Lucky for you, I'm a good teacher. He winks at him and Alec blushes again.

“Teach me **_everything_** then. I want to be able to be of use to you. I can't do that if I'm ignorant…”

“You are useful to me, don't be mean to yourself.”

“This hasn't proved to be the case so far…”

“You do things for me so stop looking down on yourself, okay? Or I'll get angry, and you don’t want to see me angry.”

His eyes widen a little at the memory. “Okay! Please don't be mad… I'm sorry.”

Magnus chuckles. “It's okay, babe. I was just kidding… Maybe.” He smirks at him before turning his eyes at the steaks which are half done.

Alec smiles, loving it when he's calling him stuff like that and goes back to making the potatoes. “I'd still love you to teach me **_everything_** though…” He says blushing, aware of all that his words imply.

“Oh, don't you worry, honey. We have a~ll the time in the world for that.”

“All the time in the world sounds really good…” He says smiling.

“Right?” Magnus smiles back brightly, putting the steaks on plates. “Okay, meat done. How are you doing?”

“Yeah…” His smile widens even more as a reaction to his and he passes him the potatoes. “I'm done.”

“Steaks and fried potatoes, hope it's good enough for our… Can I call it our first date? Officially?”

Looks at him, his eyes shining. “It's perfect…” He whispers moving closer.

“And a kiss…” He whispers back, leaning even closer. “We'll see later what's for desert…”

He blushes at the innuendo, slowly closing the distance between them looking into his eyes and stands millimetres apart from him.

The corner of his mouth quirks up. “Are we doing something with this short distance…?”

“Only if you want to…” Alec whispers lost into his eyes, feeling his heart fluttering into his chest and his mind going numb as they share the same air.

“But the food is getting cold…” He teases.

“Then let it…” He whispers unable to think of anything else but Magnus' lips so close to his.


	55. Losing Control

“You will need more than that…”

“What…” Alec takes a deep breath. “Do you… mean…?” He asks confused, his mind a jumbled mess as he looks at his lips for a moment, and then back into his beautiful eyes.

“Tell me what you want…” Magnus imitates him by looking at his mouth and then back at his eyes.

He blushes and whispers never breaking eye contact. “I want…”

“Yeah…?” He wets his lips.

A soft whimper escapes him and he bites his own lip his eyes trained on Magnus' mouth now.

He grins then, loving Alec's reaction. “You still haven't answered my question, Alexander… **_What do you want_**?”

He gulps blushing and looks in his eyes for a moment then away again. “Do I have to say it…?” He whispers.

“No if you don't want to, I'm not forcing you… I just… want to know what's going through your mind.”

Loving him even more for what he said, he smiles a little. “Can't you guess?”

“Mmm…” Magnus looks thoughtful for a bit. “Maybe you want the same thing I do but I won't be sure if you don't tell first~”

“Why don't **_you_** tell me? I was the one that kissed you first before… **_Oh._** ” He bites his lip again as the words escape.

His smile widens as he hears his last words. “A kiss… We're on the same page then.”

Alec pouts, blushing, his heart still racing as they stand impossibly close. “Good to know.”

“So, are you gonna kiss me…? If not I'll starting eating no-”

Magnus has no time to finish his words as Alec closes the short distance between them and kisses him passionately.

The food is forgotten as he practically ends up on Alec's lap, straddling him, and grasps the back of the chair with both hands for support.

His eyes open wide for a moment and he gasps, but then he closes them again and surrenders completely to Magnus, to things he hadn't even dared to dream of before, as he keeps kissing him, wrapping his arms around his waist tightly.

He can't help but grind his hips with Alec's, wanting nothing but to create some more friction. It's driving him insane how much he **_wants_** the boy but can't do anything with him yet. Magnus knows he isn't ready and he will respect that until he is.

“Magnus…” He moans his name against his lips, losing his mind from everything Magnus is doing, the newfound sensations too much to handle, driving him crazy.

“Yeah… Keep moaning my name…” With a hand, he grabs Alec's face and tilts his head to one side, to bury his own face there, breathing in his scent and kissing the soft skin of his spotless neck. The sounds Alec is making are dangerously affecting him and he knows he's in problems because he cannot stop. Fortunately (for who exactly?), his beeper chooses that moment to make an annoying sound. That definitely breaks the **_magic_**.

Cursing under his breath, he quickly gets up and goes back to the living room to get the stupid thing out of his coat pocket. He can read a "You have 2 missed calls" on the little screen. Visibly annoyed, he throws the thing to the couch -in which the small machine bounces, almost falling to the floor- and goes back to the kitchen and sits on the stool, next to Alec, running a hand through his hair. Feeling the urge to apologize, he obviously does. “I'm sorry. Normally, I turn off the beeper once I'm home but today I forgot… It completely ruined the mood, right?” He chuckles bitterly.

Magnus whispers to him, his voice seductive as he kisses his neck and his mind goes blank as he involuntarily moans his name again. And then suddenly he’s gone and Alec immediately misses his warmth and the touch of his lips. Before he can pull himself together, Magnus is back, sitting beside him but no longer touching him, and he apologises for something, but Alec doesn’t get it. He’s too overwhelmed.

‘ _What… Just… Happened?’_ He thinks, staring at him in a daze, his mouth half open, his eyes unfocused, and his cheeks painted crimson. His breathing and heart rate are rapid as he can still feel his skin tingling and burning from Magnus’ touch.

Seeing as he doesn't get an answer, he looks at Alec confused -and a little bit worried- “Alexander, is there something wrong…?”

“Who…?” He mutters, never taking his eyes off him, and after a few seconds it clicks. “Oh. Me? That’s me, **_I’m_** , Alexander… Right. Yeah, no, I mean, I’m fine. I’m good, I…” He mumbles dazed then pauses to catch his breath. _‘God, **I love him so much.** ’_

Magnus snorts at Alec's strange behaviour. “You sure? I'm really sorry for the interruption…”

Finally recovering and seeing Magnus' reaction, he blushes embarrassed, dropping his eyes, realising what he did. “ ** _I'm_** sorry… I don't know what's gotten over me…” He mutters fiddling with the hem of his shirt nervously.

“Well, that was… **_pretty intense_** for a first time, wasn't it?” He smiles understanding. “Don't apologize, you hear me?”

Alec bites his lip looking at him and nods a little, his smile still making him swoon. “Okay…”

“I guess you need to get used to it… Little by little.” He reaches over the table to take one of his hands. “Alright?”

He nods again, his eyes intent on Magnus' and smiles softly. “Yeah… I'd love that…”

“Right.” He says, still smiling. “Now we eat this delicious food and then go to bed. Tomorrow we'll need to wake up really early.”

“Oh. Okay.” Alec nods again sitting properly on his chair and reaching out to sip on some much needed water.

He chuckles as he passes him the jar of fresh water. “Do you have any questions for tomorrow? The interview.” He simply says, as a reminder.

His blue eyes widen slightly. “Oh God… I forgot about that completely… It was at 9am, right? What do **_I_** need to do?” He asks nervously. “I don't know how this "world" works… Magnus… I'm not sure I can do it… What if I mess things up???”

“You won't.” Magnus squeezes his hand gently. “I'll be right by your side, helping you out with whatever you need. They will try to make you uncomfortable, they always do, but you don't have to worry. Everything will be okay.” He smiles, reassuring him.

He chuckles nervously. “They won’t have to try hard… **_Thank you…_** ” He says warmly, squeezing back, smiling at him lovingly.

“Anytime, sayang.” He kisses his hand before letting go and starting to eat. He's suddenly hungry.

 


	56. About the Interview

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello. Unfortunately we have some bad news. We apologise in advance but due to some circumstances beyond our control we have to finish the fic soon, without delving in all the issues in detail... It won’t end completely abruptly, but regrettably we won’t be able to write many new chapters. Probably seven more, including that one... Again, we’re really sorry. We don’t want it to end either but as I said, there is nothing we can do about it... We hope that one day we will be able to continue it properly. And even though it’s not over yet, and we have some way to go still, we’d like to thank you for your support so far!

Alec swoons at his sweet gesture and just stays there for a few seconds staring at him, before he finally snaps out of it and starts eating too. “Oh. Your cooking is really amazing!” He says, also remembering the breakfast Magnus made for him the other day.

“It's kinda cold though…” He mutters, disappointed. “I wanted this to be special.”

“Hey…” He whispers seeing the look on his face. “It **_is_** special. Every moment with you is. And I…” He blushes, lowering his voice. “I don't regret the reason it **_is_** cold in the first place… Do **_you_**?” He asks biting his lip, smiling shyly, his hand absently touching his neck where Magnus kissed him.

He looks at his gesture for a moment before answering. “Of course I don't… I just… Well, I pretty much feel the same but I don't like that our first date went a bit out of control. It was my fault. I need to learn to control myself in your presence. “

He smiles at him, loving the thought that Magnus can't restrain himself in his presence, and says. “I was at fault too… I'm the one who didn't stop you…” _'How could I? I never wanted it to stop…'_ He thinks.

“You wanted to…?” He grins.

Alec blushes more. “What do **_you_** think???”

Magnus chuckles. “I think that we need to finish this and go to sleep.”

“I guess…” He says taking a bite though he wishes that day would never end.

“I know you're nervous…” He takes a mouthful of fried potatoes, then adds. “Because of the interview, I mean. But you'll do great.”

He sighs softly messing a little with the food before finally eating. “I really hope so…”

“I have a tip for you.” He says after a moment.

He smiles at him paying full attention. “Yes??”

“To avoid been teased about this being your first interview, try to answer with questions and then add the answer to your own questions. You know what I mean?”

“You mean to ask something back?? But what? I think I get it, but it sounds difficult…” He answers trying to follow the "tip".

“No. Like… Take for example that the interviewer asks you about your… I don't know, love life. Okay?” When Magnus gets a nod in response, he keeps going. “Okay. So. Your answer may be **_‘Don't we all have someone we love? Yes, we do.’_** That's it, that's how it's done.” He tries hard not to laugh. It was so lame, after all.

Alec sighs, stressed. “I get it… But it still sounds so hard… I'm no good at interacting with people…” He mutters blushing. “And I really hope they don't ask me about **_that_** …”

Magnus snorts. “Don't get your hopes too up. They totally will…”

“Oh God… Well, good thing you warned me about it then, because if I was unprepared I would probably look at you when asked and mess everything up……” He says embarrassed

“So you'd look at me… That'd be great news for the interviewer.” He snickers.

He blushes again. “Don't laugh… They **_can't_** know, it would be bad for you!! If I mess up and they suspect, say you'd never date someone like me or something…”

Shaking his head, he gets up to clear the table. “I won't.”

He follows his lead to help him. “But Magnus…” He protests softly. “With Matt and everything… I don't want to put you in danger…”

“I don't mind.” He mutters, filling the sink with the dirty dishes. “In fact, I think we should tell the world. Since we know that Matt threatened you, that means we are one step ahead. We could take advantage of that.”

Alec bites his lip nervously. “Are you sure? Advantage how?”

“From what you told me, he wants to destroy both of us with some kind of… scandal maybe?”

He leaves all he's holding on the sink too and softly touches his arm worried. “A scandal?? Magnus… We can't allow that… Your career is at stake… This is all my fault…”

He huffs, turning around to look at him. “You really think I care about some stupid scandal? No way.”

He looks up at him guiltily. “But…”

“But nothing.” He interrupts him. “I said I don't care and that's final.”

Alec bites his lip dropping his eyes, still standing beside him. “Okay… I'm sorry…”

“You do have a word in this too though… So you better decide now.”

“What?” He looks up at him again into his beautiful emerald eyes and says. “I only want to protect you… But I didn't get what exactly was it you wanted to do to "counterattack" Matt… How does telling the world helps?”

“I don't know…” Magnus sighs, frustrated. “He may know something about you that he'll use… But what?”

“Know what?” Alec asks too. “And how? I'm a no one… I… developed some pretty bad habits two years ago, but not even Izzy knows about that. I was home alone. I'm not sure what else it could be… What are scandals about, usually?”

“Normally, they are about the past of the person in question… or bad affairs. Drugs, lovers, abuse…”

“My past…” He mutters thinking about it. _‘What's in my past?’_ Max comes to mind and he bites his lip harshly, trying to hide his reaction. _‘No, how would Matt know?’_ He pushes the thought aside and then he thinks of last week when he punched Matt.

“Are you… thinking about what happened in the restaurant?” When he sees Alec's expression, he instantly knows he guessed right. Sighing, he leans on the countertop crossing his arms over his chest. “So, he's doing this out of revenge… Typical.”

He sighs. “I'm sorry… But why would he want to drag you into it? I was the one that punched him… You even stopped me…”

“Well, I… talked to him back then. So he's definitely holding a grudge against us.”

“You did?” He asks surprised. “What did you say?”

“I-” Magnus runs a hand through his hair, suddenly nervous. “I kinda said that I will end him if he tried something like suing you.”

“Oh.” He looks at him surprised, blushing, his mouth a little open, not expecting that, not thinking Magnus would stand up for him back then after all he did. “Thank you…” He says touched. “And I'm so sorry… It's all my fault. If I hadn't…”

“Thank **_you._** ” He interrupts him one more time, taking Alec's hands between his’. “I think I thanked you before but I need to do it again, now that we're **_officially_** … dating?”

Alec squeezes his hands, his heart beating faster at his words that make him extremely happy, but sensing something like…Worry? Insecurity? Lacing his last word, Alec tries to reassure him, smiling widely. “No need to thank me… I couldn't allow that scum to insult the man I love… Could I???” He asks bringing their hands up to his lips to kiss Magnus'.

“I guess.” Happiness brings out a smile to his face, growing wider when he sees Alec kissing his hands.

Alec smiles more, Magnus' happiness all he could ask for. “Maybe we should call it a day? We can talk more tomorrow, right?”

“Right.” Magnus agrees straight away, it's pretty late.


	57. Come closer

“Okay!” He says and then it occurs to him. “Uhm… Am I… sleeping on the couch?” He asks thinking of the previous day when they slept together.

That makes Magnus laugh. “No, I think it's safe to say that you're allowed on my bed now…”

He blushes.“Are you sure…?”

“Are you?”

Alec bites his lip. “I am. I trust you.”

“I told you I won't do anything to you, Alexander. I'm not like that.”

He smiles squeezing his hands again. “I know. Of course I do…”

“Let's go to sleep then.”

Alec nods again. “Lead the way, mr. Bane.” He smiles playfully.

“Ohhh, you can bet I will…” He walks to the bedroom, passing Chairman Meow by and petting him goodnight.

He smiles following him, petting the cats too, and enters the bedroom after him.

**~o~**

Once in there, Magnus goes to the wardrobe looking for his pajamas and something for Alec to sleep in, as Alec moves to stand beside the bed, his blue eyes watching him while biting his lip, still unable to grasp the situation completely.

After some time, Magnus finally finds something appropriate for him. “Bingo~” He holds the clothes out for him to take. “There.”

“Thank you…” He says timidly, reaching out to take the clothes. “Where should I…?”

“In the bathroom.” He smiles, totally understanding why he doesn't want to change in front of him.

“Okay…” He nods, blushing slightly and goes to the bathroom to change.

While Alec is in there, he changes in his pajamas too, -a men's kimono with ornaments in purple and gold-, then sets the alarm at 6 in the morning.

He exits the bathroom dressed in the, (thankly plain), blue pajamas Magnus gave him. “I'm do-” His words die in his throat that suddenly feels dry as he stares at Magnus with wide eyes. Even preparing to sleep, he looks stunning.

“Oh, Alexander, that was fast.” Smirking and wiggling his eyebrows, he walks his way. “My turn, I need to take off the make-up or else my skin will suffer the consequences~”

His heart skips a beat at his expression and he wordlessly takes a step moving out of his way, his eyes following his every move, mesmerised, grateful that he doesn't have to hide his feelings any longer.

“Wait for me in my bed, will ya…?” Magnus whispers centimeters away from his face, then enters the bathroom without locking the door. He knows Alec won't follow him anyway.

{I just **_love_** teasing him.} {I swear you will be the death of me…}

Alec's breath hitches and his eyes widen momentary, and even though he knows they won't be doing anything, Magnus' words make him bite his lip to hold back a soft moan as his cheeks redden at the innuendo. Once he is gone, he moves towards the bed, touching the covers with the tip of his fingertips, hesitating, despite Magnus' instructions.

Inside the bathroom, he takes his time moving around to grab the stuff to take off the damn make-up. He loves it but sometimes he gets tired of having to put it on and off every single day. He always complains about it in the night though. Shaking his head, Magnus finishes his business in there and gets out, finding Alec playing with the sheets and not inside as he instructed him to before. “Well, well. What do we have here…? Are you perhaps having second thoughts about sleeping with me in my bed tonight? Maybe I should take the couch after all… If the situation makes you feel uneasy…”

His heart is beating rapidly once again and he’s nervous. Sleeping on Magnus’ bed, sleeping with him… (while being awake enough to know what he’s doing.) He wishes to dispel that nervousness that he knows will lead to awkwardness eventually, and then it occurs to him. A way to lighten the mood. Just in time he hears Magnus' voice and looks up at him, his thoughts dispersing, as he is drawn in by his beauty once more. “No!” He exclaims and then adds softer. “No… It's not that, I… I was just…” He shakes his head. “I don't want you to sleep on the couch…” He sits on the bed, still caressing the soft sheets and looks up at him, a small smile playing at his lips. He chuckles. “Guess Matt was wrong after all…”

Magnus raises an eyebrow at that comment, clearly not getting it. “What is that about…?”

Alec chuckles a little more, then smirks. “I am on your bed.” He says referring to Matt's **_"You will never be in his bed"_** comment.

“Wow, so **_mature_** of him…” He says, then chuckles at Alec's adorableness, getting in the bed. “Guess you're right~”

Still a little nervous, he mimics his movements to slide under the sheets too, his eyes intent on Magnus, and just then it hits him that he is wearing only that kimono and no pants. He blushes once again, focusing his eyes on his beautiful face, free of makeup, which is close to his, but not close enough…

“Why are you looking at me like that…?” Magnus gives him a lopsided smile, leaning on his elbow to look at Alec better.

That smile makes his heart beat faster and he whispers looking into his eyes enchanted. “Because you're beautiful… And because I still can't believe you're really here… **_I'm_** really here…”

“Yeah… because that's **_my_** bed, meaning that **_you_** are in it so Matt can screw himself for all I care.” He says with humor, ignoring Alec's first words because right now his looks don't matter.

“Damn right.” He says with a smile before chuckling softly.

Magnus smiles back, moving a little bit closer. “So, are you tired?”

“Just a little… You?” He asks back, more tired than he let on, but not really wanting to sleep. He doesn't want this day to end. Not yet.

“Same but I suppose we should sleep, tomorrow's gonna be intense.”

“Okay…” He mutters wishing to move closer but holding back, unsure.

“You can come closer, you know?” He says as if he just read his mind. “I don't bite… much.” He adds then playfully.

_'I wouldn't mind if you did…'_ He blushes slightly and scoots closer to him, reaching out to slowly touch his arm.

Magnus puts his own hand on Alec's. “That's it… You can do whatever you want, whenever you want. You have me 24/7, babe.”


	58. Another First

Drawing courage from his words Alec moves even closer, close enough to feel the warmth of Magnus' body on his. “Can I kiss you?”

Magnus bites his lower lip, feeling extremely excited* all of a sudden. “Of course you can.”

> **_//excited as in happy xD//_ **

He smiles at him more, and moving even closer, touches his face, then softly, lovingly presses his lips upon his.

He wraps an arm around his waist gently, corresponding to the tender kiss right away.

Alec keeps kissing him, relishing on his touch, completely blissful. After a bit he pulls back slightly to look into his eyes.

He presses their foreheads together, his eyes closed, completely relaxed now. “That was perfect…”

“Yes…” He whispers. “Magnus… Thank you. For everything… Even if you don’t believe it, you really have saved me so many times, in so many ways… So, thank you.” He says, trying once more to prove to him how important he is, and then before Magnus has time to brush away his words again, kisses him to show him he really means it.

He does break the kiss minutes later though, after enjoying a bit more that sweet moment. “You don't need to thank me, Alexander. You saved me from Matt and from myself. I feel like you did even more for me than I will ever do for you.”

“Impossible.” He smiles. “But we can call it a draw if you want… And I will always be there to save you… From anything.”

“Alright, you got my back… and I got yours?” Magnus smiles back.

“I guess…” He says, lightly stroking Magnus' cheekbone with his thumb.

“That's okay for now.” He smiles a bit more under his touch.”

Alec nods, then moves closer again bringing their foreheads together. “Please never stop smiling…” He whispers, thinking how much he loves his smile.

He takes a deep breath, humming approvingly. “Can I ask you something back?”

“Of course…” He answers immediately.

“Then… Don't leave me. Ever.” He caresses the back of Alec's neck with a hand. “Unless I do something unforgivable.”

“I won't.” He whispers with fervour. “I promise. I won't **_ever_** leave you… I love you.”

“I can hardly believe it…” Magnus bites his lower lip. “Last week I was all alone, feeling lost… and then you appeared out of nowhere. You really are Raziel…”

Alec smiles softly at that. “I am no Angel my love… But I'm so glad I could help you… Maybe now my existence finally has meaning…”

“ ** _My love_** … Say that again.” He leans in to give him a peck on the lips. “You will always have meaning for me.”

“My love…” He repeats, his smile never faltering as he leans to kiss his forehead. “My love…” He kisses his nose. “My love…” Another kiss, on his cheek. “I love you so much…” He adds, finally kissing his lips.

Moaning his name softly, Magnus closes the distance between them even more, drawing their bodies together.

Alec sighs softly, content to feel him so close and places his hand on his waist, lightly caressing his skin over the kimono.

He starts to kiss and nip on his neck. “If we don't stop now… I won't be able to later…”

“Magnus…” He breathes his name, unconsciously tilting his head to give him better access to his neck while his fingers clench around the soft material. “I…”

“Alexander…” He marks him with his teeth, giving him his first hickey.

He moans unable to stop himself, both his hands at Magnus' waist now, pulling him closer. He can't remember anymore why they aren't supposed to be doing that, Magnus calling his name like that, his voice laced with desire, drives him crazy.

That moan makes him snap out of it. Regaining a little of composure, he leans back shaking his head. “We need to stop.”

Feeling him withdraw and hearing his words he opens his blue eyes looking at him anxiously. “Magnus…Did I… do something wrong?”

“No, you were perfect.” He grabs his face with both hands. “It's me, I can't control myself around you…”

“Oh…” He whispers staring into his eyes for a moment, before looking away. “I'm sorry… you shouldn't have to…”

“What do you mean…? Alexander, talk to me.”

“You shouldn't have to control yourself…” He mutters. “If I wasn't so…”

“So… what? Alec…” He sighs. “There's nothing wrong with you.”

“Of course there is… You… You're all I ever wanted…” He whispers, finally raising his eyes to look at him. “And yet… Now that I'm here… Beside you… In your bed…” He reaches out to gently touch his arm with his fingertips. “I'm forcing you to hold back, control yourself…” He brushes his fingers over Magnus' lips. “Just because I'm an idiot and a coward… I'm not worth all that trouble…”

“You're worth that and so much more, sayang… You have no idea.” He grabs his hand and softly kisses it. “You are where I want you to be, here, now, in my bed… just talking, kissing now and again… I don't need anything else. Well, I'd be lying if I say I don't want you right now but I can wait, for as long as you need.”

Looks at him frozen, his heart swelling with happiness as tears of joy gather behind his eyes. “Magnus… I…” He whispers.

“That's another first for me…” He says wiping away his tears.

“What do you mean?” He asks, his voice hushed, leaning towards his comforting touch.

“Waiting for someone, I never did that before.

“Oh… I'm sorry…” Alec mutters biting his lip.

“Why? I didn't say that was a bad thing.”

He looks at him surprised. “It's… not??”

“Not bad, just new and… kinda exciting.” Magnus smiles like a kid with a new toy.

He stares at him in awe and adoration once more, then leans in swiftly and plants a kiss on his lips. “Thank you.”

“Mm-hmm, my pleasure.” He caresses his face, then checking the alarm clock he lies on the bed. “We need to sleep, babe.”

Alec sighs, knowing he's right. “Okay…” He says reluctantly, still looking at him, taking him in.

“Come on.” Smiling, he opens his arms for him.

A huge bright smile splits his face and he moves closer to snuggle in his arms wrapping his' around Magnus' waist.

Magnus rests his chin above Alec's head, smiling content. “Sweet dreams, my angel…”

“Sweet dreams my love…” He says planting a kiss where his lips can reach and closing his eyes. He's so content, blissful and overwhelmed, all at once, that he completely forgets about the nightmares, and the need to combat them with music.

Once he closes his eyes, all he can think about is Alec; the boy right there in his arms, peacefully sleeping and softly snoring against his chest. He never had that before and he's willing to let the barriers around his heart down just for Alec.

Exhausted, he falls asleep immediately, and for the first time in forever sleeps through the night without nightmares, as Magnus' warmth shelters him from everything, making him feel wanted and loved.


	59. Fighting my way out

Magnus ends up falling asleep not so much later, he needed to get up early after all. So, at 6am he wakes up after the alarm goes off, taking care not to wake Alec up yet and getting out of the bed. He then changes his clothes to simply some black sweatpants he has in his wardrobe and sneakers. Chairman and Gabriel are sleeping together on the couch in the living room when he passes by to make some coffee, getting ready to dance a little bit before showering. The music is playing low, and Magnus starts by making some stretching.

Sometime early in the morning, something interrupts his slumber, but he’s so tired he falls back asleep almost immediately, not noticing Magnus slipping off the bed and his arms.

In the music player, a younger Magnus sings "Fighting my way out" and the present Magnus sings along while doing the choreography; eyes closed in deep concentration, hips jerking with fluid movements and limbs in total sync. His breath comes in ragged puffs, heart beating like crazy on his chest.

He wakes up the next morning, all alone. Disorientated he opens his eyes, for a moment not recognising the big bed he’s been sleeping on. And then he hears it and smiles widely as everything comes back to him. Magnus’ soft voice is echoing and Alec realises this is what woke him, and thinks there is nothing he’d want more than to wake to his beautiful singing voice everyday. (Well, **_almost_** nothing. Waking up with Magnus himself beside him would definitely be even better). He gets up aching to see him and silently stumbles towards the living room, where he freezes in place, staring with wide eyes, his throat suddenly dry, and his mouth almost falling open at the sight before him. Magnus looks like a wet-dream come true, as he dances half naked and breathing heavily, moving with cat-like grace, his caramel skin glistening with sweat. Alec stares at him mesmerised and practically drooling, still frozen. And then Magnus jerks his hips to the music and Alec’s mind goes blank with desire. Next thing he knows, he’s by his side in an instant, pinning him to the nearest wall and kissing him breathlessly.

Magnus grunts as he's suddenly attacked by… Alec? He opens his eyes wide, not believing what he's seeing… and feeling down there. Moaning, he wraps his arms around Alec's waist, bringing him even closer.

He keeps on kissing him hungrily, holding him close, until it suddenly clicks and he realises what he did. His blue eyes open wide and he jumps away from him, a hand over his mouth as he looks at him. “Oh my God Magnus, I'm so sorry!” He apologises, embarrassed and terrified of what Magnus may think now, praying he won't be angry at him.

He whimpers at the loss as Alec steps back, ignoring his meaninglessness apologies. “Why are you stopping…? Where are you going? Come back here~” He makes grabby hands at him.

Alec sighs in relief seeing he's not angry, but on the contrary seems to want more. And who is **_he_** to deny him? A little calmer now, he eagerly steps back into Magnus' personal space, looking up at him, waiting.

His eyes shine as Alec does just that, then leans in to bite his jaw and kiss it. “Mmm… Good morning to you as well…”

Even after all that, he still manages to blush slightly, as he smiles at him. “Good morning…”

“You surprised me there… I thought I was being attacked by a zombie or something.” He jokes.

His eyes widen once more. “Oh God… Do I look that bad??” He half-jokes back. “I'm so sorry!”

“No… I said that because of the way you were **_eating_** me, babe…” Magnus smirks.

He blushes crimson. “I…I'm sorry… I don't know what's gotten over me, I just saw you dancing and it was… **_You_** were….”

“Yeah…?” He encourages him to keep talking.

Alec gulps anxiously. “It was…divine… **_You_** were divine… Godlike… and so extremely… hot…” He adds in a lower voice.

“ ** _Hot_** , huh?” A grin appears on his face. “Did that turn you on…?”

He blushes more biting his lip, and looks down, only to remember Magnus is half naked. More embarrassed, he raises his eyes to his face again, saying nothing, his reaction and red face, answer enough.

“Too bad I can't help you with that…” Smiling, he takes the towel off the couch and puts it on his shoulders, right before walking into the kitchen. “I made some coffee, serve yourself.”

Alec bites his lip again fighting back an urge to say 'I love you' again and nods sheepishly, following him. “Okay…”

“I have some pancakes, cookies and cereals. Choose whatever you want.” He fills up his mug again and fills another one for Alec, putting it on the countertop for him to take. “So, how did you sleep? Was my bed comfortable enough for you?” He asks sipping on his coffee.

“Thank you…” He says taking a cookie. “Won't you eat anything?” Then Magnus' question makes him realise. “I slept perfectly.” He says looking at him. “I…I was so happy that I totally forgot about asking you to sing, and yet, for the first time in years, I had no nightmares…” He finishes his words looking at him in awe, realising it must have been because of his presence.

“Yeah, I'll make myself one bowl of cereals. Want some?” He smiles taking two bowls out of the cupboard anyway. “That's… good, right? I'm glad you felt at ease and could sleep.”

“Yeah, thank you…” He answers sipping at his coffee too. “It's more than good… I can't believe it actually… **_Thank you._** ”

“I guess it's good having someone by your side when you're feeling down and desperate, and you can't close your eyes without seeing **_things_** that make you ask yourself "Why was I born?". Then you…” Suddenly, he gets quiet and turns around, facing the sink. “Sorry, I got carried away… I don't know what's gotten into me. Forget I said anything. I- I'll go have a shower, it's getting late. Take whatever you need from the fridge, make yourself at home.” Magnus has to pass next to Alec and he doesn't know what will be his reaction if he tries to stop him though.

“Mags…” He says softly, taking his hand when he passes by him, to stop him from running away. “Please wait…” He whispers pained, sensing the anguish behind Magnus' words. “You know you can trust me and tell me anything you want, no matter how hard it is, right? I could **_never_** betray you.” He tells him, mimicking his lover's past words.

His touch startles him, feeling it alien and kinda unpleasant. Stepping back, he gasps a bit for air; the memories of his past tormenting him. “I know… but I'm not ready… just like you aren't to commit your body to my **_touch_** … I hope you understand.” Magnus' voice is soft and steady, something he's not feeling on the least.

 _‘_ _That hurt…’_ He hastily pulls his hand away, feeling his heart constrict, Magnus’ reaction hurting him, but not as much as the haunted look on his beloved’s face. And then his words are another stab on his heart and he drops his eyes to his hands, whispering anguished. “I… I understand… I’m sorry… You’re right…” _'How can you trust me with your heart when I can’t even “trust” you with something as unimportant as my body?’_ he thinks. “I’m so sorry…” He whispers again.


	60. I’ll never leave you

He understands right away that his reaction wasn't the most wise but he just couldn't help it. Those memories were still intact in his mind… and body. “No, it's not your fault. Alexander, I-I know what I look like to you, a successful and healthy man… but I'm nothing like it, I'm a broken human being. I accepted it long ago, that I have to live with all this… baggage, and whoever wants to be with me needs to accept it too. So, if you think you can't do it… just say it now. I won't stop you.”

“I’m sorry…” He says again, his voice a pained whisper. “Magnus… I… Of course I would accept it… I **_will_** accept **every** part of you… I told you… I won’t leave you… As long as you want me I will be here…” It hurts unbearably to hear that Magnus is suffering so much, but he can’t do anything, not if his beloved doesn’t want him to… He can’t force him. “Just… **_Please_**.” He begs. “I only have one request. **_Please._** Whenever you think you may be ready to trust me, **_please_** let me try and help you. That’s all I ask.”

“I may not be able to talk about it ever, Alexander… Because I'm ashamed of what I did and I'm scared of what you may think of me…” He mutters, his pained gaze on the floor.

He’s aching to touch him and comfort him, so bad that he can feel it on his skin. But after his reaction, he’s not touching him again without permission. So he drops his eyes too. “No matter what it was, I would **_never_** think any differently of you… I love you and that is not going to change.” He says with conviction, cause it’s true. “But of course it’s your choice. Like everything. I wish you could trust me but I will understand if you won’t.” He adds in a whisper. “I… I am… nothing important after all…” He mutters the last part, not realizing he did, not wishing to say something like that out loud. It wouldn’t be fair for Magnus. He had more important things to worry about after all.

It hurts even more hearing Alec saying that so he wraps his arms around him, hugging him tight. “I'm sorry… It's not like I don't trust you… and you're more important to me than you'll ever be to anyone… But I- this… this is different. For me it wasn't an accident, it was a choice… I choose to follow that path because I had nobody to rely on.” At that point it was hard to keep his voice steady and even more difficult to breathe. “All of a sudden I was in a spiral of drugs, alcohol and sex… I was homeless so I had to do **_things_** to earn money…” Magnus' face was wet, meaning that he had been crying for a while. “I didn't want you to know any of it but if it makes you feel better then…”

Before he has time to feel happy hearing he really **_is_** very important to him, Magnus’ next words hit him like a slap and he bites back a gasp, not believing someone so kind and caring could have a past like that. Magnus did not deserve that kind of pain… He did not deserve **_any_** kind of pain. Alec is overwhelmed by a desire to protect him, and swears to himself to do exactly that, **_no_ _matter_ _what_.** Wishing Magnus won’t mind his touch, he wraps his arms around him too, holding him close. “Mags, no…” He chokes out anguished. “No… Please don’t say that… No, no, no… **_Nothing_** is your fault… Nothing, you hear me?” He says, softly, but with conviction, wishing more than anything that his words will reach him. “Nothing, nothing, nothing… You had **_no_** choice, not really… It wasn’t your fault… You had to survive, it wasn’t your fault…” Feeling Magnus struggling to breathe and crying is breaking his heart, and he runs his fingers through his hair while rubbing soothing circles on his back with his other hand, trying to calm him down. “Hush baby… I’m sorry… I’m so sorry for pressuring you… So sorry for bringing that painful stuff up…” Alec croons, rocking him gently and crying too. “Hush… I’m sorry, I’m here, I love you, I love you so much, I won’t leave you… I swear I won’t. I’m so sorry my love…” He apologises again because **_he_** brought him to that state by insisting to know. “I love you, I love you, I love you… I could **_never_** leave you… Never, never, never, my precious one. Nothing was your fault… You had no choice…” He keeps repeating soothing words and sweet nothings to him, praying they will reach him, praying he will believe him, wishing nothing more than to ease his pain, to take away his suffering.

Alec's touch is both appreciated and wanted, so Magnus lets himself relax. His hands are still grasping his lover's shirt, his face hidden in the space between his shoulder and neck; little by little he's regaining the composure, breathing in Alec's words. He cannot talk, not yet. He knows his voice will waver and he'll succumb again to tears. It's been so long since he last cried, since he let himself have a breakdown in front of someone… That someone was Catarina. But she wasn't there now. Instead, Alec remains beside him, waiting for him to talk back, to face him. He was trying so desperately to understand him… Magnus knows it but even so… Taking a deep breath, he breaks off the hug to look at him. He must look awful -he feels that way- but he needs to be honest with Alec and for that, he needs to look at him in the eye. “I love you too… That's why I told you. Because I thought you will go away if I didn't. I- I can't lose you too. Promise me you won't leave, Alexander. You said you won't, but I need you to swear it.”

More minutes pass when Magnus is holding on to him like a lifeline. Finally after a while he lets him go and pulls away from him. Alec almost pulls him back, but stops himself. This isn't about him after all. Magnus looks at him, his beautiful eyes red from crying and his face littered with tears as he pleads with him, and Alec reaches out to him, softly touching his face, wiping away his tears. “Magnus… Even if you didn't tell me, I wouldn't leave you… How could I?? I'm sorry you felt that way… I'm sorry if you felt forced to speak with me… I **_swear_** I only want what's best for you… I only want to protect you… And I also swear,” he says looking deep into his eyes, cupping his face with one hand. “I swear, I will never leave you. I love you more than anything…”


	61. Stay by my side

Magnus nods slowly, his pulse regular again. “I don't blame you for wanting to know… It's just fair, you told me about your little brother…”

“It wasn't because of that…” He says softly. “It wasn't like, 'I told you my secret you should tell me yours'. I was just… worried… So worried… And it hurt unbearably to see you like that and being unable to do anything… Thank you for trusting me… Magnus… **_Please…_** Please my love, let me help you… Let me do whatever I can for you…”

“You can't make me forget, but you could give me my future.” He smiles tentatively.

Alec takes a slow, careful step his way and raises his other hand too, to touch him, hesitating, searching his eyes before he softly places it on his face, thinking with a stab of pain of how he recoiled when he touched him before. Finally, holding his face in his hands, Alec whispers smiling softly. “If you want me, there is nothing I would want more, than to be your future…”

He places both his hands over Alec's, feeling his heart constrict on his chest. “I will always want you…”

“Then I will always be here…” He says leaning closer, bringing their foreheads together, staring deep into his emerald eyes.

Magnus takes a shuddering? breath. “Thank you… for accepting me the way I am.”

He smiles softly at him, his eyes full of love. “Silly…” He whispers. “What did you think 'I love you' means?”

He snorts. “I know what it means just fine but what I did in the past…”

“What you did in the past doesn't matter… Nor it was your fault my love… How could I let **_that_** change anything between us? How could I blame you for suffering? I'm here to protect you and love you Mags… Not judge you…”

“Others wouldn't be that understanding…” Sighing, he closes his eyes, relaxed in Alec's embrace.

“Thank God I'm not 'others' then, right?” He teases softly, wanting nothing more than to see him smile again. “I'm here for you my love… And I always will be…” He croons, carefully moving a lock of dark hair away from his eyes.

Magnus open his eyes, to look at him; a smile appearing on his face. “I really am lucky, sayang…”

His heart dances finally seeing his smile, and he says, smiling back at him. “Lucky is the last thing I'd call you baby… But I'm really glad you think so…”

“I do, for having you with me.” He leans in to kiss him, but he isn't sure if he should after all.

“Where does that leave **_me_** though? Guess **_I_** am blessed then.” He smiles, but then sobers up, looking into Magnus’ eyes as he comes close enough to kiss. He wants it so bad, **_needs_** it, but is afraid he'll be rejected. “Magnus…?” He whispers.

“Can I kiss you…?” He asks all of a sudden, afraid of what may be Alec's answer.

He lets out a breath he hadn't realised he was holding. “ ** _Please_** do.” He tells him, never looking away.

Relieved, Magnus goes for it, kissing him softly and lovingly.

He kisses him back gently, being careful with him, that kiss different than the ones before, now that there are no secrets between them anymore…

His eyelashes flutter as the kiss deepens, letting himself drown in the sensations.

Alec pours all his soul into the kiss as he holds him, hoping Magnus can understand all that he cannot tell him in words…

Soon they must break the kiss as oxygen is required. With his eyes still closed, Magnus whispers once again. “Thank you…”

He nods, whispering too. “Thank you too my love… For trusting me… I'm sorry if I forced you to…”

He shakes his head, letting go. “We really should get going… I need to shower.”

Reaches out to stop him, but hastily pulls his hand back before touching him. “Mags…” He whispers.

“Yeah?” He asks, not daring to look at him. He can't right now.

“I just…” He whispers, suddenly nervous. “I just wanted you to know…” He's aching to touch him, but he's afraid to. “Mags… I didn't know it was actually possible, but… now I love you even more than before…”

A bitter laugh escapes his mouth. “You can't be serious… I just told you I used my body to survive. That's nothing to love… You should be feeling disgusted.”

“Don't you **_dare_** say that.” He says with fervour. “Magnus. I could **_never_** be disgusted by you!! Mags… Please… My love… **_Nothing_** was your fault… Nothing…” He desperately reaches out again, almost touching him but doesn't. “You suffered so much… But you didn't let it break you… Yet, you forced yourself to endure those awful memories again because of me… Because you didn't want to lose me… How could I not love you? You are the one… who should hate me for forcing you even though I didn't mean to do it… I… I'm really sorry…” He whispers dropping his outstretched hand and eyes.

“Alexander, you…” He lets out a shuddering breath, running a hand through his disheveled dark hair. “You didn't do anything wrong. I decided to tell you when I could've ignored the whole matter. But I didn't because in the end it is part of me, and I want you to know and try to understand everything about me. I don't want to start **_this_** , what we have, with secrets and lies. I asked honesty of you and I plan to do exactly the same. So stop blaming yourself.”

“Thank you…” He whispers, his eyes never leaving Magnus'. “I know I can't begin to comprehend all that you had to go through and all the pain you endured, but I swear I will be here for you…” He pauses looking at him, standing so close, yet so far. “Magnus… Can I… touch you?” He asks hesitantly reaching out again.

“Of course you can…” He says in a whisper, a pained expression on his face. “Are you disgusted after all…?”

“No!” He exclaims hugging him tightly. “I told you… **_Never!_** But…” His voice drops to a pained whisper. “When I touched you before… You didn't want…” He shakes his head. “I just didn't want to touch you again against your will…”

“You didn't, I just… remembered things I wanted to forget.” He breathes in Alec's scent, feeling safe and loved at last.

Alec squeezes him tighter. “I'm so sorry my love… I wish I could take it all away… But even though I can't erase the past, I **_swear_** I will protect you from now on… From **_everything_**.” He tilts his head to kiss his dark hair softly. “I love you…”

“I don't need you to protect me, just stay with me…” He squeezes him and steps back. “Now move on, okay?”

Lets him go reluctantly and nods stepping away from his way. “Okay…”

“I don't want to sound rude but this isn't about me or even you anymore, we need to get going…”

“Of course… I'm sorry. I'll go get dressed.”

“Okay, but Alexander.”

Looks at him, a question in his eyes, waiting.

He grabs his face with both hands, gently. “I love you…” He says then kisses him.

His heart skips a bit as he looks at him stunned and then he kisses him back, feeling happier than ever.

He pecks him once again in the lips, nuzzling his nose with his own. “See you in 10'.”

“Okay…” He mutters enchanted, a smile on his face as his heart dances in his chest.

Magnus smiles back, exiting the kitchen and going into the bathroom to shower.

He decides to feed the cats so they won't be late, and tidies up the kitchen too so Magnus won't have to.


	62. Facing the storm

Exactly, 10 minutes later he's out of the bathroom, already dressed up and with the make-up perfectly done. After wandering in his bedroom to pick up the car keys -he didn't know where he had put them. Again-, he looks for Alec, finding him tidying the loft. "Hey, darling. You didn't have to do all that…"

He turns to look at him and is once again stunned by his appearance. _'Will I ever get over your beauty?'_ He wonders, staring. "But I wanted to help… It's the least I can do…" He says once he regains his voice.

"There was no need." Magnus walks to him, closing the distance to kiss him briefly. "Let's go, we have an hour and a quarter to get you nicely dressed up to the interview, so we need to go to the Studio first."

He smiles when Magnus kisses him again, casually, as if he's been doing it all his life. It falters right after though. "Oh. Right…" Alec blanches thinking of the interview again, a nervous feeling settling in his stomach as he mutters, "Lets go…"

"I know you're nervous, but as I said before… I'll be right there, with you." He smiles, taking his hand. "Okay?"

"Okay…" He whispers half-heartedly, but gratefully, squeezing his hand. "Thank you…"

"Come on." Magnus let's go of his hand reluctantly and heads out of the loft.

Alec sighs softly, following him, petting Gabriel and Chairman one last time on his way out.

**~o~**

Already in the car, Magnus drives slowly since there's still time. His mind is full of Alec and that makes him smile all the freaking time. It's crazy.

He smiles softly too, staring at him. "What are you thinking about?"

Before he answers, he bites his lower lip. "Us… I know it's too soon but I feel like we've been together for an eternity now."

"I… understand…" He says blushing. "It's barely been two days and yet… it just feels so **_right_** …"

He nods, his eyes on the road. "Exactly."

Alec smiles, reaching out to touch his face softly, careful not to distract him. "And yet I **_still_** can't believe it…Can't believe I'm here, touching you… **_Allowed_** to touch you… Can't believe you are…" He almost says "mine" but cuts himself off, still a little afraid to be too bold, and too insecure to 'claim' Magnus as 'his'.

He takes his eyes off the road for a minute to look at him. "Go on, Alexander. Say what you wanna say."

He blushes crimson and shakes his head hastily, dropping his eyes.

Sighing, Magnus shrugs. "Alright, whatever… On a different note, remember to look miserable or something in front of Tessa and Ragnor or they'll suspect."

Alec splutters and starts laughing. "Did I look **_that_** miserable before? So much for hiding my feelings!" He keeps chuckling, amused.

He tries to hide a smile, failing miserably. "I'm sure I looked like that as well… So yeah, let's go with miserable."

"When you did it really was upsetting… Well, it won't be too hard to look miserable if we can't touch each other, right?" He says, touching him once more, gently.

Still smiling he grabs a hold of his hand. "Yeah, it will be torture."

"Hope it's worth it. It **_did_** sound fun!" Alec smirks thinking about Magnus' plan.

He chuckles a bit. "Mm-hmm, though Tessa will slap the hell out of me afterwards."

"I will protect you!" He says with fervour, making Magnus laugh again.

"Alright, Captain America. You do that."

"Hey! Don't mock me!" He lightly pokes his arm, laughing too.

"You have to admit that was funny~"

"Never!" He exclaims, but his chuckling says otherwise.

"Sooo stubborn." He shakes his head. A few minutes later, they arrive at the Studio. "Okay, we're here."

Alec looks around and seeing no one in sight, says blushing. "Uhm… Magnus… Before we go in… Can I ask you for something?"

Smiling, Magnus turns to look at him. "I know what you're thinking, and it's the same thing I'm dying to do myself…  so go for it, sayang."

He smiles brightly, still not believing Magnus wants everything he does too and with one last look around, Alec leans closer to kiss him.

Magnus closes his eyes, giving in to the sensations. They need to be careful though or they'll be seen not by Tessa and the rest of the crew but by the fans and paparazzis. That's why Magnus breaks the kiss almost right away. "Love you…"

His heart jumps with joy at the simple words. "Love you too…"

"Okay… Now show me what you've got." He winks at him before getting out of the car and heading into the building.

Alec smiles at him one last time, then gets out too, drops the smile, and says somberly. "As you wish Mr.Bane…"

He chuckles low before putting on a neutral mask, entering the Studio. Tessa is there, sitting behind the reception  desk. "Alright… It's show time~" At that very moment, he turns around, facing Alec. "What is the problem with you? Why can't you remember something so… important?" He almost shouts, trying to sound as confident as possible.

His eyes widen, as he’s definitely not expecting that, but he recovers quickly, not allowing the words to hurt, knowing it’s just an act. He bites his lip turning his head so Tessa can’t see his face, and mouths. ‘I’m so sorry’ before shouting back. "What’s **_my_** problem??? What’s **_yours_**?!?! Why don’t you just **_tell_** me what I’m forgetting??!?! I bet it won’t be **_that_** important if I can’t even remember it!!!"

Magnus forgets how to breath until he remembers that they're just acting. _'It's just an act, Mags. He doesn't mean it. It's not real…'_ He thinks to himself. But it hurts, because it really did before when Alec didn't remember. Swallowing, he clenches his jaw and fists, his expression hardening. "Maybe you're right…" He says with an unusual calm.

"What the hell is going on here?!" Tessa steps in, a furious expression on her face. "How can you say that to Magnus when he's been so nice to you? Are you out of your **_fucking_** mind, **_kid_**?" She spits out, confronting Alec. And perhaps Magnus wants to call off the charade because maybe messing around with Tessa isn't a good idea, after all.

_'Oh God…’_ His eyes widen even more as he looks at her, and even though he’s taller, he cowers under her burning stare. He is convinced it was a terrible idea after all, but leaves it up to Magnus to drop the charade or not. Instead, looking genuinely terrified, and not needing to act on that one, he whines lowly, looking at her. "But he won’t tell me… He’s been accusing me of forgetting but refusing to tell me **_what_** I forgot even though he knows!"

"Oh, yeah…? Well, **_you_** are accusing **_him_** by betting on **_it_** not being important. How is **_that_** fair?!" She just can't believe the boy is that immature. She could have swore he was responsible and good for Magnus. Now? Tessa wasn't so sure anymore.

He didn’t think about it before, but Tessa talking to him like that really hurt and he hopes she will forgive him once everything’s over. Resisting the urge to look at Magnus for help and really wishing he’d just say something, **_anything_** , to get him out of the situation he snaps back at her, internally apologising. "I didn’t accuse him! Just stated the facts!" Turning his head away from Tessa, he looks at Magnus, briefly allowing a terrified and regretful expression on his face just for him to see.

Not wanting the situation to get even worse than it already is, he steps in-between just in case Tessa wants to bitch slap Alec or something. Taking a deep breath and raising both hands in a conciliatory gesture, he says.   
"Alright, alright. Let's all calm down… This is going nowhere."

Tessa frowns at that, crossing her arms over her chest. "Are you defending him after what he said? Really, Magnus?"

"I'm not defending anybody, I'm just…" Sighing, he runs a hand through his hair. "It's late, okay? And he needs to dress for the interview. We have 30 minutes if not less. We **_really_** do not have time for this right now. So, you'll step aside, leave Alec alone and we'll go to the dress room. Without any more fuss. Are we clear?"

She just purses her lips, frown deepening. After a few tense minutes, she steps aside leaving them room to pass.


	63. Dropping the Charade

Magnus is leaving him behind and he hurries after him before Tessa decides to punch him and they need to find yet **_another_** Raziel. "Wait!" He calls after Magnus. "You didn't tell me that! Why do you need to dress me up??" He says daring to continue the charade now that they are far enough to be safe from Tessa's fury, as he hovers beside him, aching to touch him.

"Well, babe~ I don't mind you dressing as a beggar in front of me but you will in no way look like that for an interview. This is important, Alexander. This is what you are now." Magnus points out, without stopping walking even for a second.

His heart racing, he blushes and splutters, not expecting that when they were supposed to be fighting. "W-What are you talking about…? What's wrong with my clothes? And I **_told_** you, I'm not important…" He mutters trying to keep up with him.

“You are to **_me_** , silly…” Smiling, he enters the dressing room. Luckily, Ragnor is not there. “Okay, lock the door.”

Now that Tessa can't see, he smiles adoringly at Magnus, his words making him so happy once more. He does as told, and once it's locked, practically runs to Magnus' side saying in a very low voice only for him to hear, while softly touching his face. “I'm so sorry baby… You know I didn't mean any of that… I'm so sorry…”

“I know that.” Magnus hugs him, wanting nothing but to feel him. “Don't worry… It's over now.”

He sighs content in his arms, hugging him back tightly. “That was so much worse than I imagined… But what will we do now?”

“Scary even…” He adds, nodding. “You're gonna try some clothes~”

“ ** _Very_** scary…” Alec agrees. “Oh. That's kinda scary too… What kind of clothes????”

“Flashy clothes!” He cries out, laughing a bit at Alec's startled expression. “Just clothes, babe~”

“It's not funny Magnus!!!” He exclaims, then sighs. “Okay then, do your worst.” He says, a smile playing at his lips.

“Mmmm…” Looking closely at the rack, he sees a blue sweater and black jeans hanging there, so he just grabs them. “There you go. Try them.”

“Wow. Really???” He asks seeing surprised that the clothes are actually normal for him. “Okay then.” He adds going to change.

Magnus sits on a chair, waiting for him to be ready. “You know, I thought Tessa was going to strangle you back there.”

“Tell me about it!” He says throwing his shirt aside and putting the sweater on. “For a moment I was sure you'd need a new Raziel cause my face wouldn't be up for it after she was done punching me…”

He chuckles, looking at himself in the mirror; his eyes shining more than ever and his make-up perfect. “I'd never have allowed her to touch you, rest assured.”

Already dressed Alec steps out moving closer to him. “My hero…” He croons smiling.

Turning around, Magnus beams at him. “Look at you! That blue sweater brings out the color of your beautiful eyes~”

He blushes at the sudden compliment. “T-thank you…”

“Mm-hmm, don't thank me yet.” Smiling mischievously Magnus gets up, holding out something in his hand.

“Hmm?” He looks at him smile like that and suddenly feels worried. “Magnus? What are you doing with that thing??”

“Nothing~ Come here, babe…” He takes a few steps towards him.

His body reacts to him taking a step his way and then he realises what he's holding and freezes in place. “Magnus?”

“Yeah~?” He takes one more step, grinning.

Alec takes a step back taking in Magnus "predatory" expression. “You **_wouldn't_**!” He says staring at the eyeliner on his lover's hand as if it could bite.

“But it'd look **_so_** good on you… Let me do it, **_please_**.” He almost begs putting on his most innocent expression.

_‘Oh God…’_ Seeing Magnus' face he almost gives in. “No.” He says firmly, looking away so he won't succumb to him. “No way!”

“Oh, come on! Why are you so stubborn?!” Magnus shouts all of a sudden; outside, Tessa hears the commotion and, frowning, she approaches the room.

"Is everything alright?" Knocks one time, then twice when nobody answers. "Magnus? What is happening in there? Are you two fighting? I can't **_believe_** it! I **_knew_** the boy will be nothing but trouble. It was entirely my fault for encouraging you to…"

Suddenly, Magnus yanks open the door and grabbing Alec by his shirt, he kisses him hard on the mouth, devouring him right in front of a shocked Tessa.

Alec freezes in shock by the sudden kiss, not expecting it, his blue eyes wide, but soon he relaxes into it wrapping his arms around Magnus' neck to pull him closer as he kisses him back with abandon, his eyes falling closed.

"You tricked me! I cannot… Oh my God, I'm gonna kill you!"

Magnus laughs as he steps back, still holding Alec. “No, you won't. You love me.”

"After that **_little act_** of yours? Hell no!" She's saying that but her expression is relaxed and she seems happy for them.

“I know… Thank you, Tessa.” He smiles warmly at her, which makes her flush.

"Oh shut up… I'm leaving."

“Aha, see you, sweetie~”

Tessa just waves at him while going back to the reception.

Alec chuckles softly after she's gone, leaning against Magnus. “Seems we managed to survive your plan with no casualties…”

He hums softly in agreement, still smiling. “Seems like it…”

“I'm glad… See Mags?” He says brushing his lips to his cheek as he speaks. “You are so, **_so_** loved…”

“I'm lucky, that's all.” He replies before squeezing him a bit and letting him go. “Let's finish here, alright?”

“Okay…” He says missing his touch already. “What else do we need to do?”

“No eyeliner then?” Magnus puts on his cat eyes similar to Puss in Boots' expression.

“Maaags…” He whines. “Stooop! It’s not fair… I…” He adds half-heartedly, and thinks, _‘Why do you have to be so adorable???’_

Pouting once again, he puts the eyeliner away. “Alright, I won't force you to wear it…”

Alec sighs softly. “I'm sorry…” Then he smiles sweetly at him taking a step his way. “Please forgive me?” He says looking up at him innocently, with adoration, all but batting his eyelashes.

“How could I not forgive you? So precious, my angel…” He says waiting for his next move.

Swoons at his words once again, not believing how he got so lucky. Casting a quick look around he steps closer and into Magnus' personal space, itching to touch him but not sure if he should. “You have no idea what you do to me…” He whispers.

“It's probably the same for me…” Magnus grins, not daring to take his eyes off him.


	64. You're the only one I want

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys! This is almost the end!  
> As we've said a few times before, due to circumstances beyond our power and control we had to end the story sooner than anticipated! We're sorry and we thank you for being here until now! ^-^ There will be one more chapter next week, one short epilogue to put an end to everything and bring closure to the story! See you then~

“Even after everything, this seems too good to be true…” Alec says, dazed, staring into his eyes lost in them.

“Can't say I don't agree to that… What are you thinking, darling?”

“Thinking…?” He mutters looking at his lips briefly then back at his eyes. “I'm thinking about two things…”

“Well…?” Magnus waits for his answer, folding his arms across his chest.

“Firstly… I'm thinking that you have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen… And secondly…” Alec drops his voice to a whisper, waiting.

“You might want to finish that sentence before I get to do what I'm dying to…”

“He raises his eyebrows, eyes darkening with desire momentary and then he chuckles softly. “Well…” He says sobering up, inching a little closer, his blue eyes intent on Magnus’. “I was going to say… I might die if I can't kiss you again…”

“No need for you to die then… I'm right here, all yours…” He whispers, closing the distance between them even more.

Reaching to wrap his arms around Magnus' neck and pull him against his body, he whispers dazed what he didn't dare say before, their lips almost brushing. “Mine…? “

“Yours…” Smiling, Magnus wraps both arms around his slender waist. “Unless you want to share me with someone else…”

He smiles brightly at Magnus, before slitting his eyes at his next words. “No!” He says too fast, almost growling, tightening his hold on him, not wanting to even think about that. “ ** _Mine_** …” He whispers, daring to be bold.

“Alright, alright, tiger. I'm not going anywhere… with anyone else.” He chuckles a bit.

Alec blushes crimson embarrassed, averting his eyes a bit, but holding him tighter. “I'm sorry… Please don't…”

“Don't worry, Alexander. You're the only one I want… I swear it.”

Looks at him biting his lip, his blue eyes shining with happiness. “You're the only one I want too…” He whispers.

“I know.” Breaking the hug, he looks at him still smiling. “Now let me get the car, okay?”

“Okay, but…” He starts saying but then stops, looking a bit embarrassed again. “Nevermind…”

“Say whatever you want, darling. I won't judge.”

“I didn't want to "say" anything…” He tells him shyly. “Just do something…”

Magnus gives him a smug look. “Then "do" it.”

He slits his eyes at him moving closer. “Are you mocking me again? What's with that look?” Alec asks and the singer simply shrugs, waiting for his next move. The boy sighs smiling. “You're infuriating sometimes, you know?” Then he grabs his shirt pulling him closer and whispers before crashing their lips together. “But I love you just the way you are…”

Grabbing his neck with one hand to keep him from going, Magnus closes his eyes and returns the kiss with the same passion.

Still kissing him, Alec wraps his arms around his waist, slipping his hands under his shirt, caressing his warm skin.

He gasps the moment he feels Alec touching him, grinning a second later at his bravery.

He vaguely remembers they have to go, but anything else seems unimportant comparing to kissing Magnus so he doesn't stop.

Someone clears their throat right behind Magnus, making him jump in surprise. "I'm **_so_** sorry~ I didn't want to disturb you but the interview it's at 9am and it's 8:45am already."

“Oh, God… I'm going to get the car.” Magnus waves at Tessa and Alec before exiting the building.

She turns to the boy then. "So, you and Magnus…"

Alec jumps too embarrassed but then spaces out watching Magnus leave, unable to take his eyes off him, until Tessa's voice snaps him back to reality and he turns to look at her, his face flushed from both embarrassment and the kiss. “Yeah…” He says, before, still on the high from the kiss, adding with confidence, smirking. “Out of my fucking mind, huh? You **_really_** thought I could **_ever_** say something  like that to him and **_mean_** it?? Seriously?”

Tessa looks at him in the eye, without blinking; her arms crossed over her chest. "Honey, I've met guys like you before… So innocent on the outside… Those are the worst. And I can't see Magnus get hurt again. I was wrong with you but I'm not gonna apologize."

Looks at her, hurt, his smile fading. “I wouldn't ask you to apologise… I'm glad you are watching over him… But you are still wrong. You haven't met ‘guys like me’. I would rather **_die_** than hurt him.” He says with fervour meeting her eyes.

"Right…" She says, still not convinced. "Anyway, you have a hickey. There, on your neck." She points out.

“A what????” He asks and then his eyes widen as he blushes crimson remembering Magnus sucking on his neck the day before. He brings a hand over it looking terrified. “Oh my God… I'm going to kill him…”

Chuckling, she walks to her desk, grabbing her bag and taking something out. "Try some make-up. That will cover most of the "mark"."

“You're a lifesaver…” Alec sighs relieved. “He managed to get make up on me one way or another, I bet he's happy.” He mutters.

Tessa tries not to smile, but she fails miserably. "You **_do_** look like you're in love…"

He bites his lip looking at her shyly and says in a low voice. “I've been in love with him for over two years…”

She opens her eyes wide. "Two years? That's **_a lot_**. You've been a fan for that longer?"

“Yeah…” He answers somberly. “But to me, he's so much more than just an idol… I owe him **_everything_** …”

She frowns. "That's… deep. But I won't ask."

He puts on a smile. “Thanks. It's a long story anyway and we don't have nearly enough time… He must be waiting, I should go.”

Tessa simply nods. "You're right. Good luck for the interview."

He pales. “Thank you… I'm gonna need it…” He says and turns away to go to the car.

Magnus is waiting inside the car, getting it warm. It's a bit chilly outside that early in the morning.

He enters the car smiling at him. “Hey…”

Magnus turns his head and smiles back. “Hey, babe. Is everything okay?”

“It is now.” Alec answers, happy to see him smiling, then absently leans close to peck his lips. “Should we go?”

He nods, starting the car and driving. “You know, Adam contacted me to talk about the portfolio for the photo shoot we did.”

“Oh! I almost forgot about that… Accident and all… Was I any good?? I'm sure **_you_** were perfect…”

“Relax.” Magnus says putting a hand over his leg. “I haven't seen the pics yet, obviously. We'll do it together. Later.”

He smiles at him again relishing in his touch. “Okay… Thank you. And I'm sorry… Hope I didn't push your schedule back…”

“You did.” He admits sincerely. “But your health is more important.”

Alec frowns. “Sorry… Though I'm kinda happy the accident happened, you know? Don't be mad!” He adds quickly as an afterthought.

Magnus raises an eyebrow. “I'm glad you added that bit…”

He chuckles softly. “The ‘don't be mad’ part?”

“Yeah. Why would you say that?”

“Well… If it wasn't for the accident we wouldn't be together now, right? Together, together I mean… But I know you'd be mad if I said I'm happy about the accident because you were so worried…”

“And now I'm worried about your attitude… Alexander, if I want something I fight for it until I get it.”

He bites his lip looking at him, but can't help but smile hearing Magnus say that he was going to fight for him.  _'He makes me so happy...'_ He thinks. _'But who wouldn't be happy to know he's precious to him?'_


End file.
